A tale of a weekend mechanic

[CLSMark]

Mrs CLS has an old new beetle, decent enough order for 134k, I don’t see the point in spending silly money on it considering it’s age/value, so I try and do the general service stuff myself.

Rear disc and pads needed replaced, so I got eBays finest £25

In theory an hour or so’s work on a sunny Saturday morning, then back to sitting on my ****.

So, wheels off. Quick squirt with WD40 and get to it

Calliper and pads come off as expected, take the old pads out that resemble something like a fag paper, and get to it

Piston seized. Ok, these things happen, get the old windy piston compressor job on it. Won’t budge.

Ok, I’ll stick it in the vice, I undo the brake hose, yup, snaps.

By this point it was 530, and I’d lost the will to live, but I soldiered on with the O/S....same again. So now I have 2 broken pipes, and 2 seized pistons.

I stuck it up on axle stands, told the car I hated it, and I’ll see it in the morning.

930 am today. Off to the scrappy, (25 miles away) for the self service calliper and pipes removal.

That went swimmingly at least, so I proudly paid for my purchases and drove home,

Fitted said parts, and got on with the exciting task of brake bleeding.

Would the pedal go solid? Nope. No matter how many times I bled them, the bloody thing would not stiffen up. (Ooer)

Turns out, the master cylinder has two bleed nipples, hidden of course.

All done now, and only took 486 man hours.

Mrs CLS better “reward me” for that bloody saga

End of rant/sympathy seeking.

Mark








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[AMGeed]

Mrs CLS better “reward me” for that bloody saga

End of rant/sympathy seeking.

Mark

Fancy letting the brakes get like that.
I'd give her a mouthful if I were you








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[ringway]

I had a similar sort of thing on a S202 once owned.
The wiper motor had broken.
£45 for a used one off ebay, but it was a Sunday, so delivery on Tuesday.
£100 for a new one from Euro Car Parts.
Collected new wiper motor from ECP and installed.
I had serviced these motors on several MB's and knew them very well, the importance of lining up the V mark etc.
The one from Euro Car Parts would not park the wiper in the correct position and was erratic with rain sensor.
I had the motor on and off perhaps 5 or 6 times CAREFULLY replacing the screws in the trim that contacts the windscreen BY HAND.
It had got to around 9.30 in the evening and the last thing my glass back needs is to be bending over a car.
It was dark, driveway floodlight and tripod spotlight was our source of light to work with and it started to rain!
Against my better judgement, I asked young Ringway to pass me the cordless drill/driver to speed up the replacement of the windscreen trim screws, one of which went in a bit too tightly. I released it straight away and no harm was done. PHEW!


Next morning, came out to the car to find the windscreen had cracked where I had over tightened the screw.
To say I was annoyed was an understatement!
So a new windscreen and the Euro Car Parts wiper motor never worked properly - EVER!

Euro Car Parts sh1tty on phone about replacing because part had been fitted and not heard of any other problems with the motors...

Went to the breakers yard, got a used motor for around £40, fitted it and it worked perfectly first time and never missed a beat whilst we owned the car.

Cheers, Euro Car Parts!

 

[CLSMark]

I had a similar sort of thing on a S202 once owned.
The wiper motor had broken.
£45 for a used one off ebay, but it was a Sunday, so delivery on Tuesday.
£100 for a new one from Euro Car Parts.
Collected new wiper motor from ECP and installed.
I had serviced these motors on several MB's and knew them very well, the importance of lining up the V mark etc.
The one from Euro Car Parts would not park the wiper in the correct position and was erratic with rain sensor.
I had the motor on and off perhaps 5 or 6 times CAREFULLY replacing the screws in the trim that contacts the windscreen BY HAND.
It had got to around 9.30 in the evening and the last thing my glass back needs is to be bending over a car.
It was dark, driveway floodlight and tripod spotlight was our source of light to work with and it started to rain!
Against my better judgement, I asked young Ringway to pass me the cordless drill/driver to speed up the replacement of the windscreen trim screws, one of which went in a bit too tightly. I released it straight away and no harm was done. PHEW!


Next morning, came out to the car to find the windscreen had cracked where I had over tightened the screw.
To say I was annoyed was an understatement!
So a new windscreen and the Euro Car Parts wiper motor never worked properly - EVER!

Euro Car Parts sh1tty on phone about replacing because part had been fitted and not heard of any other problems with the motors...

Went to the breakers yard, got a used motor for around £40, fitted it and it worked perfectly first time and never missed a beat whilst we owned the car.

Cheers, Euro Car Parts!

I feel your pain


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[Peter103]

CLS, You'll get no sympathy from me, next time buy her a Haynes Manual let her sort it, they're always banging on about equality and feminism, she will appreciate your thoughtfulness. Relax have a beer, put your feet up chill.

PS, dare'nt let Mrs 103 see this, she'd kill me

 

[brucemillar]

I had a brand new, very expensive duo dash cam, ‘professionally’ installed in Mrs M’s BMW X5. That trashed the car and created a thread on here all of its own.

It seems wrong to ‘like’ these posts. But I enjoy them in the knowledge that “it’s not only me”

 

[CLSMark]

CLS, You'll get no sympathy from me, next time buy her a Haynes Manual let her sort it, they're always banging on about equality and feminism, she will appreciate your thoughtfulness. Relax have a beer, put your feet up chill.

PS, dare'nt let Mrs 103 see this, she'd kill me

She won’t see it, we all know she’s imaginary. you live in a damp bed sit eating budget baked beans out a can whilst ogling pictures of Jo Brand. [emoji16]

And yes I agree. She should bloody do it!


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[Headhurts]

I have had a chuckle reading these posts and this has served to remind me I never ever want to mess about with cars.

Yes you will save money and feel a sense of satisfaction but at what cost?

Frayed nerves, dodgy backs and a wasted weekend.

But bless you all I love reading these posts.

Robin


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[Peter103]

Have you been stalking me? you have havent you? you b@st&rd, killer! Druk! arrest him he stalks!!!! him Now! PS,And yes I love Jo Brand.

She won’t see it, we all know she’s imaginary. you live in a damp bed sit eating budget baked beans out a can whilst ogling pictures of Jo Brand. [emoji16]

And yes I agree. She should bloody do it!


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[kid-jensen]

The tales of frustration and bloody-mibdedness of mechanical devices sounds all to familiar.

Working on cars is the best way to demonstrate the action of Sod's Law, (if anyone ever doubted it existed)..

"To do one bast*rd job, first you have to go through at least half-a-dozen MORE bast*rdly jobs before you can start..."

 

[Flyinspanner]

Ain't this the truth....

 

[mat8n]

Don't ask me about my 1800 goldwing I bought as an easy project that's slowly turning into a bobber/chop project in my head

 

[brucemillar]

Remember. When the designers sat down to lay out the plans for, what is now your pride and joy. They wanted to ensure their place in history. Something by which they would be remembered by. A token of their attention to detail.

This is why, they put a 10mm bolt with a head pattern, never seen before (or again) behind another bolt that requires your entire skeleton to be disjointed, just so that you can get to it. This is timed using dummy runs, in the laboratory, to ensure that you will get to this bolt, just as the last shop closes for the Bank Holiday Weekend. Your fingers and and hands are now so swollen and bloody that they would never be able to open your wallet, without the need for truly, out loud, tortuous screams.

Now for the final bit of hilarity... The designers, like to put a bag of springs and ball bearings, under pressure behind the 10mm bolt that you cannot undo. These will be released with the velocity of an anti tank missile, and are trained to make direct contact with your open eye ball. As you stagger backwards instinctively clutching the red hot exhaust manifold, you will wonder exactly why you left that pan of dirty gear box oil at your feet, where some fool could stand in it.

The joys of the home mechanic.

 

[ringway]

Remember. When the designers sat down to lay out the plans for, what is now your pride and joy. They wanted to ensure their place in history. Something by which they would be remembered by. A token of their attention to detail.

This is why, they put a 10mm bolt with a head pattern, never seen before (or again) behind another bolt that requires your entire skeleton to be disjointed, just so that you can get to it. This is timed using dummy runs, in the laboratory, to ensure that you will get to this bolt, just as the last shop closes for the Bank Holiday Weekend. Your fingers and and hands are now so swollen and bloody that they would never be able to open your wallet, without the need for truly, out loud, tortuous screams.

Now for the final bit of hilarity... The designers, like to put a bag of springs and ball bearings, under pressure behind the 10mm bolt that you cannot undo. These will be released with the velocity of an anti tank missile, and are trained to make direct contact with your open eye ball. As you stagger backwards instinctively clutching the red hot exhaust manifold, you will wonder exactly why you left that pan of dirty gear box oil at your feet, where some fool could stand in it.

The joys of the home mechanic.

That made me chuckle!

 

[BTB 500]

My best "10 minute job gone wrong" was changing a thermostat - undoing the two nuts holding the cover down sheared off one of the studs flush with the (aluminium) manifold it went into. Oh what fun that was.

 

[brucemillar]

Gents

Please try and remember. When it all goes back together? If you do not have a box full of nuts, bolts, screws & washers left over!!

You are doing it wrong.


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[CLSMark]

Gents

Please try and remember. When it all goes back together? If you do not have a box full of nuts, bolts, screws & washers left over!!

You are doing it wrong.


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Those are “spares” It’s all in our imagination that they actually were on the car before.

Just like the retaining clips for the hand brake cable on Mrs Marks Beetle, that “Jumped off” after I’d fitted them


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[brucemillar]

Those are “spares” It’s all in our imagination that they actually were on the car before.

Just like the retaining clips for the hand brake cable on Mrs Marks Beetle, that “Jumped off” after I’d fitted them


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I like to think that cars are ‘over engineered’ at manufacture.

 

[ringway]

I feel your pain


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Pain it was!
I got a good deal on the new replacement windscreen from the bodyshop I use, but it still hurt!
I really don't like Euro Car Parts.

 

[Londonscottish]

I was once rebuilding a Stage 2 Mini A Series engine. I'd done it a few times and was a dab hand. And as engines go, short of two stroke, it's as simple as they come. It's just about being very methodical on the strip down and then very methodical on the subsequent rebuild.

Anyway, a bored mate of mine had rocked up to watch and started to plead with me to let him do something, anything. Reluctantly I pointed him at the oil filter housing and off he set.

Roll forward a day or so. The build's been done, the engine's back in, everything is plumbed in/connected so I make sure the plug leads are off and go to crank it to build some oil pressure. Its at zero. I check the gauge and the connectors. Check the feed pipe. look for other leaks. Double check the oil level.....and nothing obvious. Cranked it a few more times to no avail.

With a heavy heart I started to disconnect everything (ie carb, manifold, engine mounts, driveshafts, fuel line, cooling system, etc etc etc. Listed the bloody engine out again, split the timing chain, tool the rocker cover off and then the head. Checked all the oil galleries. Nothing. Opened up the bottom end, looked forlornly at the newly reground crank and still nothing.

And then the oil filter caught my eye. Oh no. Surely not......took the filter off, loosened the first bolt then the second, took housing off and looked inside. Out fell the little pressure spring. Without the sodding little ball bearing that closed off the oil flow when cold staring.

The dozy sod. All he had was two bolts, one housing, one gasket, one spring and one ball bearing to cope with. And he forgot the fricking ball bearing.

AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Needles to say my mate NEVER got go anywhere near any of my cars after that.