andy_k
MB Enthusiast
After volunteering to fight for his country in WW II, Zimmerman
joined his unit and lined up for his uniform. As equipment was
issued in strict alphabetical order Zimmerman found himself at
the back of the queue. By the time he reached the desk all the
uniforms had been issued. There were none left. Zimmerman was
issued with a badge that said "soldier" in red letters."You
didn't want a scratchy old uniform anyway," the quartermaster
said. "Join the line for your rifle."
Zimmerman joined the back of the rifle queue. When he reached
the front Zimmerman found that all the rifles had been
distributed and then, once again, there were none left. "You
don't want to kill people anyway," said the quartermaster.
"I'll issue you with a broom stick and you can shout Bang Bang!"
"Thank you," said Zimmerman, and joined the queue for bayonets.
Once again, on reaching the desk Zimmerman was disappointed.
The quartermaster issued him with a lollipop stick with the
advice that he should shout: "Sticky-sticky!" when using it.
Within weeks Zimmerman found himself on the front lines
shouting "Bang-bang!" for all he was worth. On his second day
the German enemy began a mass advance. One by one Zimmerman's
unit were killed or wounded until only Zimmerman himself
remained standing.
"Bang-bang!" he shouted, and was amazed to see his German
foes still falling. Soon they began to overwhelm his trench
and Zimmerman began to stab wildly with his lollipop stick.
"Sticky-sticky! Sticky-sticky!" And astoundingly it worked.
The enemy were dying at his feet. The survivors began to
retreat. All, that is, with the exception of one man who was
only half way across no-man's land and was still advancing
slowly. Zimmerman took careful aim with his stick-rifle and
calmly said; "Bang-Bang."
The enemy soldier continued his advance. "Bang-bang!
bang-bang! bangedy-bang-bang-bang!" Zimmerman yelled
frantically. Still he came.
Before he could reach the trench Zimmerman leapt up and
ran at him with the lollipop stick. "Sticky-sticky!" he
shouted. And then added "Stab-stab-stab!" for good measure.
The enemy soldier refused to die and stared at Zimmerman
defiantly. By now Zimmerman had had enough. "Wait a minute,"
he said. "When I shouted 'Bang' your comrades died, but not
you. When I engaged them in hand-to-hand combat with my
lollipop stick and shouted "sticky-sticky!" they fell over dead, but not you. Why?"
"I'm a tank, " replied Herr Zanker.
joined his unit and lined up for his uniform. As equipment was
issued in strict alphabetical order Zimmerman found himself at
the back of the queue. By the time he reached the desk all the
uniforms had been issued. There were none left. Zimmerman was
issued with a badge that said "soldier" in red letters."You
didn't want a scratchy old uniform anyway," the quartermaster
said. "Join the line for your rifle."
Zimmerman joined the back of the rifle queue. When he reached
the front Zimmerman found that all the rifles had been
distributed and then, once again, there were none left. "You
don't want to kill people anyway," said the quartermaster.
"I'll issue you with a broom stick and you can shout Bang Bang!"
"Thank you," said Zimmerman, and joined the queue for bayonets.
Once again, on reaching the desk Zimmerman was disappointed.
The quartermaster issued him with a lollipop stick with the
advice that he should shout: "Sticky-sticky!" when using it.
Within weeks Zimmerman found himself on the front lines
shouting "Bang-bang!" for all he was worth. On his second day
the German enemy began a mass advance. One by one Zimmerman's
unit were killed or wounded until only Zimmerman himself
remained standing.
"Bang-bang!" he shouted, and was amazed to see his German
foes still falling. Soon they began to overwhelm his trench
and Zimmerman began to stab wildly with his lollipop stick.
"Sticky-sticky! Sticky-sticky!" And astoundingly it worked.
The enemy were dying at his feet. The survivors began to
retreat. All, that is, with the exception of one man who was
only half way across no-man's land and was still advancing
slowly. Zimmerman took careful aim with his stick-rifle and
calmly said; "Bang-Bang."
The enemy soldier continued his advance. "Bang-bang!
bang-bang! bangedy-bang-bang-bang!" Zimmerman yelled
frantically. Still he came.
Before he could reach the trench Zimmerman leapt up and
ran at him with the lollipop stick. "Sticky-sticky!" he
shouted. And then added "Stab-stab-stab!" for good measure.
The enemy soldier refused to die and stared at Zimmerman
defiantly. By now Zimmerman had had enough. "Wait a minute,"
he said. "When I shouted 'Bang' your comrades died, but not
you. When I engaged them in hand-to-hand combat with my
lollipop stick and shouted "sticky-sticky!" they fell over dead, but not you. Why?"
"I'm a tank, " replied Herr Zanker.
