Will You Put Your Hand Up To A Stupid Moment?

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I'm not proud, so here's my starter for 10.

A pal of mine in Worcester, and his entire road, were flooded a number of years ago, after the local tributary burst it's banks in a storm - it was evening before I got to him, and all the power had been cut off, meaning darkness.

The situation was drastic enough that the local fire brigade were in the road, providing emergency assistance.

One of the methods of getting the water away from inside the houses was to lever up some floorboards for instant drainage - a bit like pulling a plug out.

This was a sight to behold - a foot of water, and a bunch of firemen attacking my pal's floor with crowbars and a saw.

So unusual, that, for future reference, just as they bent over, bashed in the crowbar and prised a board in the middle of the lounge floor, I decided to take a polaroid photo of the gathered ensemble - complete with built in flash of course :eek::doh:.

Did they jump - you bet.

Did they bollock me - you bet :devil::devil::devil:.

Let's hear yours guys - don't be shy :D.

I do recall photos on here of an MB van with a wheel in a drain...
 
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Letting an upholsterer fit non standard parts to my seat, still have not recovered from that one, Grrrrrr.
 
I'll hold my hand up to a moment of insanity let alone stupidity, I bought a Mercedes :doh:
 
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I think it was June 1989. We celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary next year.

I would have been out by now ........
 
I had taken my cruiser (boat) down river for a quick jolly, but had omitted to open the raw water cooling valve. Engine overheated and blew the exhaust apart. A smart turn towards the bank and dropped the anchor. Waited for engine to cool down, repaired exhaust and crept back to moorings, stopping every 100 yards or so to let it cool down. Got back on my mooring and then realised that I had an outboard engine on the back specifically for this kind of emergency.
Luckily I was on my own and nobody else knew about my stupid moment - until now.
 
I had taken my cruiser (boat) down river for a quick jolly, but had omitted to open the raw water cooling valve. Engine overheated and blew the exhaust apart. A smart turn towards the bank and dropped the anchor. Waited for engine to cool down, repaired exhaust and crept back to moorings, stopping every 100 yards or so to let it cool down. Got back on my mooring and then realised that I had an outboard engine on the back specifically for this kind of emergency.
Luckily I was on my own and nobody else knew about my stupid moment - until now.

Nowt wrong with a bit of self effacing B.

To err is human, as they say :cool:.
 
Having just done a two day off road driving course, I was an off roading god, I'm my mind. So when the company got two LR Discoverys, I uttered the immortal words, "Watch this" to a mate and drove up a steep incline in a disused gas works.

This hill was in fact a slag heap so when we reached the level top, the Disco promptly sank up to its window sills and I don't exaggerate.

So having climbed out of the windows, we did a small step down onto the level surface and promptly sunk to our knees.

We couldn't even fall over laughing at this point because we were held upright

A kindly digger driver came to help us (guess what his reaction was) and he used chains to pull us out and down.

And that's not the funny part. Having gladly handed over no small of cash in gratitude to the helpful man, we took stock and noticed two things.

First, the Disco had a distinct blue dye tidemark marking the depth to which it had sunk.

And secondly, so did we.

The car wash wasn't happy about the blue dye and piles of blue rags resulting from feverished t-cutting (my boss would not have been happy if he saw the brand new Disco's denim like paintwork) and I had to stump up for new shoes, socks and trousers for my mate.

I was lucky his other half didn't bill me for her cleaning their bath afterwards but not so lucky when I had to clean my own before my other half got home.

All I can say is, Taraaaa!
 
Good one and perfectly narrated Giantvanman!
 
A genuine compliment made with genuine admiration for your prose style. George Orwell would have been proud of your use of English (that is a high compliment from me).
 
To celebrate the purchase of my brand new Kawasaki ZX6, I bought a brand new Texport one piece leather, brandnew Scot Russell Shoei helmet, brand new Alpinestar, and brand new Nankai gloves.

I took delivery in the morning and rode all day and try to cover as much mileage as posisble so I could get the running in process over with.

Anyway, around 6pm rush hour traffic, I pulled up at a T junction, put my right foot down, somehow lost my footing and you could guess what happen next, yep!! I wasn't at all embarrassed, I was gutted, a scratched panel, and a broken indicator lens with 96 miles on it!!

Another time, after fuelling up my Ariel Atom at a petrol station, I stepped onto driver's seat with my left foot, left hand holding onto the seat, all the time I was acting cool with my shades on and just as I lifted my right foot over the frame, my left foot slip, yep! Another slip, and this time I fell backwards and that was embarrassing :doh::doh:
 
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I had decided to rebuild the engine in my VW beetle. Proper overhaul, and tuned with a big bore kit, high lift cam, proper balancing and the like.

Bolted the engine back in the car, but it wouldn't start. Checked the timing, carbs and compression, all ok. No joy, checked again and all OK.

I removed the engine and put back on the workbench. At which point I noticed the camshaft lurking in plain view on the bench, rather than nestling in the engine.

I'd fitted the pushrods and cam followers, but the camshaft had escaped, the naughty beast.

How I laughed.:doh:
 
I have never told anyone about this but.....

When I was around 16 years old I came across a stand alone flash gun for my father's camera. Having got bored with flashing it I decided to see what would happen if I put it up to my eye and flashed it.

Are you with me?

Well after the flash I realised that it was probably a mistake, a white rectangle imprinted on my retina. It was like a nuclear flash. So in good 16 year old fashion I decided to go to bed and see if it was better later. It was marginally, luckily over the course of the next day things improved.

I don't know what came over me.
 
I have never told anyone about this but.....

When I was around 16 years old I came across a stand alone flash gun for my father's camera. Having got bored with flashing it I decided to see what would happen if I put it up to my eye and flashed it.

Are you with me?

Well after the flash I realised that it was probably a mistake, a white rectangle imprinted on my retina. It was like a nuclear flash. So in good 16 year old fashion I decided to go to bed and see if it was better later. It was marginally, luckily over the course of the next day things improved.

I don't know what came over me.

Similar to this one, I was a little older but clearly no wiser. One afternoon I was idling at work in my first job when I put my thumb on the bottom plate of a stapler. I daydreamed about whether a) a staple would penetrate my thumbnail, b) whether it would hurt and c) how much?

I don't really know what happened next but there was a clunk noise, a momentary pause and a stifled yelp followed by a moan apparently emanating from my face.

I had my answers.

A) yes
B) yes
C) a very great deal.
 
Looking at posts 14 and 15, has anyone else, out of optimism, applied aftershave, shall be say "below the waist" ?
 
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I can't believe I'm doing this.

No, not aftershave. Brut talc, though. And in sufficient quantity that by the time I was going to bed (alone, inevitably), my dance floor sweat had congealed the talc into what looked like moth balls.

So appropriate and so wrong on many levels.
 
Similar to this one, I was a little older but clearly no wiser. One afternoon I was idling at work in my first job when I put my thumb on the bottom plate of a stapler. I daydreamed about whether a) a staple would penetrate my thumbnail, b) whether it would hurt and c) how much?

I don't really know what happened next but there was a clunk noise, a momentary pause and a stifled yelp followed by a moan apparently emanating from my face.

I had my answers.

A) yes
B) yes
C) a very great deal.

Ouch - gotta say, that's pretty high up the stupidometer :D.
 
Ok I own up . Many moons ago my then girlfriend was visiting for Sunday lunch at my parents house and parked her automatic mini on the drive in front of big sisters viva . Big sister had to go to work in the afternoon and me being a gentleman offered to move the mini to let her out . What a disaster as I selected reverse by mistake and gave it too much wellie . Total damage count was rear of mini , front and rear of viva and the garage door . My girlfriend put the claim through her insurance with me paying the excess . We eventually parted company . I would just like to put on record that my driving skills have since improved
 

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