joke

Subject: A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag. The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches...

BBC News...:eek: http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/ukfs_news/hi/newsid_4740000/newsid_4748200/4748292.stm

Little Billy is sitting in class , when the teacher asks everyone to stand up and tell the rest of the class what their fathers do for living and what it entails .... So , all the kids stand up and one by one explain to the class that their dad is a captain of industry , soldier , chippie etc...

ok mummy balloon and daddy balloon in bed baby balloon comes into the room and wants to get in bed because he has a nightmare daddy balloon says go back to your own bed your a big lad now so a little later baby balloon sneaks back in and try's to get between them ..but there's no...

After volunteering to fight for his country in WW II, Zimmerman joined his unit and lined up for his uniform. As equipment was issued in strict alphabetical order Zimmerman found himself at the back of the queue. By the time he reached the desk all the uniforms had been issued...

or is the mileage 271,000? http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/2003-MERCEDES-CLK-320-AVANTGARDE-AUTO-BLUE_W0QQitemZ230029010055QQihZ013QQcategoryZ9855QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"! The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him...

I need cheering up!! I feel someone out there is sticking pins into an effigy of me and boy it's working. :mad: :mad: Andy_K..... Your one liner's would go down very nicely. A joke a day helps keep the doctor at bay! Take care everyone, John the fed-up

A blonde walks into a Garage and says she wants a seven ten part for her engine. Puzzled, one of the mechanics asks,”What is a seven ten?” She replies, “You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I have lost the one in my car, and need a new one.” “What does it do?”, asks the...

This only works with people who have to look at the keyboard to type, so won't work on secretaries!! Today I gently prised off the 'e' and the 't' on my mates keyboard. I then replaced them in the wrong order. Had hours of fun watching him banging away. He eventually phoned the IT dept and lost...

The Dead Rabbit A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to...

:) We were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" in bed last night. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to make love?" "No." She answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" Yes." She replied. So I said, " I'd like to phone a friend." That's the last thing I...

Just seen that a woman in North Wales has been fined £200 for applying her make-up whilst driving. Both hands off the wheel!!!! and the car was moving. She pleaded guilty, but I wonder what that plea would have been if there was no video evidence. Police harrassment, innocent motorist victimised...

Bear this in mind after the hangovers!!! A hedgehog went out on the lash for the evening! It was such a good night out, when he awoke he was in Africa. He staggered onto his feet and thought, “I had best take a call of nature!”, when he looked down, he screamed. His bits and pieces were...

had a crap day at work today so thought i'd cheer everyone up with this joke. > > >> > > > > >> > > Karen lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't > gotten > > >> > > out of her mourning stage. Her daughter is constantly calling her > > >> > > and urging > > >>her...

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a National Organization for Women gathering, and his blonde hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect whether or not an individual is...

Little Tommy was in the 4th year class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up fireman, policeman, salesman, etc...Tommy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's...

Last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin. Then suddenly...

6) Transcript of the new answering service recently installed at the Royal College of Psychiatry: Hello, and welcome to the mental health helpline. If you are an obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple...

This was sent to me by my boss...... :rolleyes: On the farm lived a chicken and a donkey, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were playing when the donkey fell into a Bog and began to sink.! Scared for his life, the donkey 'hee hawed' for the chicken to go get the farmer...