Agony aunt time - anxiety disorder

[tbourner]

I'm pretty certain I have an undiagnosed generalised anxiety disorder, and it's come to light recently as I've had a kind of "moment of clarity" around it, realising that I've created an environment whereby I've lost a really good friend at work due to my paranoia. Has anyone else dealt with this kind of thing before?
Obviously coming on here is a much better idea than going to my GP or phoning the free employee assistance program at work about it

 

[Deleted member 6183]

I'm pretty certain I have an undiagnosed generalised anxiety disorder, and it's come to light recently as I've had a kind of "moment of clarity" around it, realising that I've created an environment whereby I've lost a really good friend at work due to my paranoia. Has anyone else dealt with this kind of thing before?
Obviously coming on here is a much better idea than going to my GP or phoning the free employee assistance program at work about it

It's a lot more anonymous.

 

[AMGeed]

Sorry to hear Trev. Recognising the fact all isn't what it should be with yourself is a good sign you know something needs to be done.
Obviously, a GP app't is the next step to recovery.
All the best

 

[Flyinspanner]

Those work help lines can be very useful, they are anonymous, (your co just pays for you to get access, they will not pass on any details of how you feel to your boss) - useful as you can explore a few ideas with them which may help you when you go to chat to your GP.

Ps many of the work schemes can get you access to a few counselling chats over the phone which can be great support whilst awaiting a ‘face 2 face’ with a counsellor.

Don’t worry, there is help there, best wishes with it.

 

[tbourner]

It's a lot more anonymous.

Yeah I know, but I'm not bothered about people knowing TBH - we're supposed to be removing the stigma of mental illness nowadays.

 

[Mr. B]

In answer to your question....yes but it’s not something that I

Yeah I know, but I'm not bothered about people knowing TBH - we're supposed to be removing the stigma of mental illness nowadays.

Well said and good for you.
I’ve suffered with anxiety since a small boy but in those days it was never discussed so I’ve learnt to live with it and to this day I’ve never discussed it in detail with anyone. So for you to raise the matter on an anonymous bb is very brave of you.
As mentioned above there is help out there these days and you have already taken the first steps by admitting there is an issue.
I wish you well and a speedy recovery.

 

[st13phil]

I'm pretty certain I have an undiagnosed generalised anxiety disorder, and it's come to light recently as I've had a kind of "moment of clarity" around it

Not had to deal with it for myself, but a former partner suffered with it and based on that experience, I'd say that self-awareness that there may be an issue is a critical first step to getting help.

I'd strongly advise seeking professional help sooner rather than later as it can sometimes be a long, but ultimately fruitful, journey that will make life better for you and your loved ones.

I wish you well.

 

[clk320x]

I’m currently training to become a doctor so quite knowledgeable on this, happy to talk to you over PM if you like.

Wishing you the best.

 

[MissyD]

I'm pretty certain I have an undiagnosed generalised anxiety disorder, and it's come to light recently as I've had a kind of "moment of clarity" around it, realising that I've created an environment whereby I've lost a really good friend at work due to my paranoia. Has anyone else dealt with this kind of thing before?
Obviously coming on here is a much better idea than going to my GP or phoning the free employee assistance program at work about it

I have had quite a lot of experience of mental health issues myself , I'm happy to post on here or by PM if you prefer.

 

[merc85]

As above accepting that you have a GAD is a key start, Along with a Supporting Partner can help no end.

It's great that there are people like the above who have offered to reach out, Myself included by pm if you like.

 

[tbourner]

I don't mind talking about it, other than this is technically public so I can't name names or anything. I think I need to pluck up the courage to phone EAP, wife certainly thinks I should. But TBH I feel pretty happy and "normal" just accepting that I'm the one that's caused the awkward situation for others, I feel like I can consciously move the paranoid thoughts out of the way now and act more appropriately. Previously (maybe since March ish) I'd been blaming others for ignoring me and stuff, feeling like I was being ostracised, and one person in particular kept offering olive branches which I took but continued being paranoid at all other times, so they eventually ran out of energy for it and gave up.

 

[MissyD]

My situation was quite extreme so I didn't find my EAP helpful but everyone's situations are different. Talking to them will at least let you know how they can support you.

 

[John]

I cannot speak as a qualified professional but I can certainly speak from having suffered with it very badly in the past.

First thing is admitting it yourself as you have done.

Next thing I would say is talk about it to the service you have mentioned. Get everything out in the open and when I say everything, I mean everything and see where it takes you.

CBT / talking didn't help me at all and I basically had a long journey of working out myself what was causing mine which I did.

Don't give up - there were times a few years back when I went to bed wishing I didn't wake up the next morning but when I think how I feel now and look back, I'm so glad I kept going. It's surprising how much of a difference it can make to how you enjoy life and only in recent years do I feel like I used to many years ago.

I'm a stubborn c*** as well so refused to let it beat me.

My journey to being fixed started by seeing a nutritionist back in late 2012 believe it or not as I was getting missed heartbeats from around 2009 and I couldn't work out why and nothing medical was causing them after various tests in that block of 3 years or so.

I would say don't rule out anything as one of the causes of mine was perhaps not so unpredictable but the other was quite a surprise (anger/stress caused by mother getting ultimately-terminal-cancer in 2008 and vitamin supplements of all things - I think the supplements caused issues first from the early noughties albeit very low level but then 2008 compounded everything).

It took me a few years to work out what was going on for a number of reasons but IT is my job so I was able to utilise being an effective troubleshooter...

As for stigma, I couldn't care less. If admitting something you know plenty of others would take the piss out makes you weak, then that doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

I don't see it as any different from injuring yourself physically.

Understating it much better helps you to monitor your own health.

The company where I work organised training for everyone by St John's Ambulance on Mental Health First Aid earlier this year.

Perhaps unsurprisingly I did rather well in some of the exercise on what to look for.

 

[MissyD]

Thanks John for sharing that and pleased things seem to be easing for you.

Life can be very hard to deal with sometimes, it throws us all sorts of crap and we can't always work through it without support. I struggled for many years after my father passed, witnessing my brothers suicide attempts, son's terminal illness diagnosis and a relationship breakdown all in a matter of months!

I was offered CBT after waiting over 18 months , even tho they considered me high risk but I wasn't able to access it. I eventually went to MIND and they were very helpful.

I've used meditation now for about 2 years and I've found that the best thing for me.

 

[John]

Life can be very hard to deal with sometimes, it throws us all sorts of crap and we can't always work through it without support. I struggled for many years after my father passed, witnessing my brothers suicide attempts, son's terminal illness diagnosis and a relationship breakdown all in a matter of months!

I was offered CBT after waiting over 18 months , even tho they considered me high risk but I wasn't able to access it. I eventually went to MIND and they were very helpful.

I've used meditation now for about 2 years and I've found that the best thing for me.

Yes, it certainly seems bad stuff thrown at you can make you unwell.

What you went through must have been dreadful but it's good to hear you have found your own way through it.

I think CBT is more useful for situations where an event or events are the cause of the anxiety but I guess it must work for other situations.

 

[Darrell]

I don’t really understand too much about this but it’s now a very high profile subject in the construction industry.
I genuinely hope it works out well for you.

 

[Deleted member 65149]

I think it’s wonderful that people can talk about such issues here. Talking about them with people who are understanding and not judgemental must help.

I suffer from diagnosed social anxiety, which in itself makes it extremely to seek help by talking to counsellors. I tried it recently and about five minutes in my heart was beating so hard and fast I thought I was about to have a heart attack. I had to bring the session to an early close. Even writing this now is making me breath heavily.

My innate fear of being judged unfavourably has made me spend my life feeling very uncomfortable in group situations, whether they be casual parties or formal meetings. I can’t even go to concerts or sporting events without feeling nervous. It’s only when the event is so engaging that it overcomes my nervousness that I can start to relax.

Even simple tasks are a challenge for me. Just this morning I knew I would be walking past our local GP surgery so I thought it would be a good opportunity to pop in and make an appointment to get a flu jab. For the few minutes before reaching the surgery, I was practicing in my head how to ask for an appointment. Of course it all went perfectly well and I needn’t have worried, but I did worry.

It’s only relatively recently that I came to suspect that I had this social phobia. Very soon afterwards, an opportunity arose to get it confirmed by a professional who was seeking volunteers to help her with her Masters. Now that I’ve recognised it I can start trying to do something about it. Writing here anonymously is helping - I hope.

My wife knows about my condition but she’s struggling to understand it. At least she (and I) now know why I’ve always been reluctant to go to parties or any other social gathering. Knowing what’s wrong is part of the battle. My daughter has two events in her reception class this week, situations that I know will be difficult for me. But instead of doing as I would usually do and make excuses for not going, I’ll be there. Doing it for her will surely help me. I’m determined to fight this.

 

[artyman]

I'm no expert in these sort of matters, and irrational fear is hard to overcome, but think about past situations, where even if anxious at the time later when you analyze it nothing horrendous happened and you are still here to tell the tale, so the next encounter is likely to have a similar outcome and you will survive that as well, each time think like that, and it will help your confidence to grow. Small victories lead to bigger ones.

 

[tbourner]

My wife knows about my condition but she’s struggling to understand it. At least she (and I) now know why I’ve always been reluctant to go to parties or any other social gathering. Knowing what’s wrong is part of the battle. My daughter has two events in her reception class this week, situations that I know will be difficult for me. But instead of doing as I would usually do and make excuses for not going, I’ll be there. Doing it for her will surely help me. I’m determined to fight this.

Yeah I started several years ago with panic attacks, mostly around going in shops and queueing up. At the time I didn't understand it but basically decided to just do it anyway! Worried I was very obviously pale and sweating makes everything worse but "just doing it" seemed to work for me and the panic attacks eventually went away, now I'm just left with a general anxiety. Usually it centers around new places, so if I have to drive somewhere I have massive anxiety about where I'm going to park! Weird. I also don't like social events with lots of people but I think that's more to do with autism than anything else.

 

[oldguy57]

Yeah I started several years ago with panic attacks, mostly around going in shops and queueing up. At the time I didn't understand it but basically decided to just do it anyway! Worried I was very obviously pale and sweating makes everything worse but "just doing it" seemed to work for me and the panic attacks eventually went away, now I'm just left with a general anxiety. Usually it centers around new places, so if I have to drive somewhere I have massive anxiety about where I'm going to park! Weird. I also don't like social events with lots of people but I think that's more to do with autism than anything else.

My retired counsellor friend maintains that the most common place to have panic attacks is in a shop, more specifically in supermarkets. Must be something to do with large areas full of people.