Awesome Re-Mapped Zillion BHP Weistec Thingy.....

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Scott_F, Nov 22, 2015.

  1. Scott_F

    Scott_F MB Enthusiast

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    .......it ain't.

    Due to the demise my of faithful daily driver I needed something in a hurry and consider myself extremely fortunate to have bagged this beauty:

    [​IMG]


    The price was not inconsiderable (I'm talking well into three figures here) but quality costs.

    And since I know that quite a few members on here like premium performance cars I'll run you through a few of her features. Keep up at the back....

    Power Plant:

    [​IMG]


    This is where she really scores. Ford rightly rejected all this OHC nonsense and opted for tried and trusted OHV technology. The Kent-derived engine was first seen in the Ford Anglia in 1959 and uses a sturdy cast iron block and head mated to the very latest mid-1990s fuel injection technology. The result produces a stunning 59BHP that bullets the car to 60mph in less than 15 (yes 15 !!) seconds. I was thinking of ringing Santa Pod to find out what a typical quarter-mile is for one of these cars but they are unlikely to have ever seen something of this type before.


    Interior:

    [​IMG]


    A masterpiece of functional minimalism. In order to optimise performance and save weight, all unnecessary gadgetry has been dispensed with. The result is an interior that could quite easily be confused with a Le Mans winner (by a blind man on a galloping horse).

    But function is important too. Therefore, the car comes comprehensively equipped with both a speedo AND a fuel gauge allowing the lucky driver to bask in a feeling of pampered luxury:

    [​IMG]

    The sharp-eyed amongst you will have noticed the that the speedo is calibrated to 140mph - yet more evidence of the foresight of Ford's finest engineers. Should the car ever be dropped by a Chinook from 6000 feet then such speeds would be perfectly feasible.


    Modifications:

    As us performance gurus know only too well, modding our cars is both desirable and essential and money should be no object. To that end I've upgraded to a comprehensive in-car entertainment system with this bad boy (£7.50 from the scrapyard complete with code):

    [​IMG]


    When I say comprehensive I mean that it's a radio. And it plays CDs. I can therefore now effortlessly switch from Radio 4 to my favourite Shakin' Stevens album when I'm out cruising with "the guys" in their AMGs on Saturday nights.

    But I'm not just about posing and trying to impress strangers - my other mod is based on pure practicality. I'm racking up a lot of miles and since the car has a small fuel tank I was having to stop for petrol every second day. So I borrowed an idea that proved very successful for the P51 Mustang in WW2 and have upgraded to a pair of long-range fuel tanks:

    [​IMG]

    Anyway, I must be off as I'm heading down to Halfords car park to impress Tracy and Kelly-Marie with my handbrake turn prowess.
     
    20 people like this.
  2. AMGeed

    AMGeed Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Wow, what a motor!

    PM me if you ever think of parting with her.
     
  3. OP
    OP
    Scott_F

    Scott_F MB Enthusiast

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    You wouldn't be able to handle all the power which she can unleash.
     
  4. BenzedUP

    BenzedUP MB Enthusiast

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    My dream car!!!!

    Be careful out there mate, I know these cars are really powerful and can be v tricky to drive.:D

    Saw one destroy a c63 the other day even a revo mapped golf R couldn't keep up and we all know the revo mapped golf Rs are one of the fastest hyper cars on the road! :D
     
  5. Ted

    Ted MB Enthusiast

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    Needs some ebay AMG badges.
     
  6. OP
    OP
    Scott_F

    Scott_F MB Enthusiast

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    I lady at work has already offered me some of those eyelash things to put on the headlights that her daughter received as a joke gift and for some reason doesn't seem to want.

    I managed to decline.
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. SPX

    SPX MB Club Veteran

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    Don't talk crazy Joe, you been drinking?!
     
  8. Teflonso

    Teflonso Active Member

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    You need to get back down to the scrap yard and see if you can salvage an old SI badge off some French tin box.

    Put it on the back next to the name badge. Presto, you now have a Ford Ka Si. Perfect description methinks.

    .
     
  9. gaz_l

    gaz_l MB Enthusiast

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    There's worse out there - I like the Ka, not a bad little bus! Cheap but cheerful.

    Cheers,

    Gaz
     
  10. Howard

    Howard MB Club Veteran

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    You'll be doing the TPS mod before too long if it's not been done already lol
     
  11. Bobby Dazzler

    Bobby Dazzler MB Club Veteran

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    That looks really tidy. I'd quite like that myself. I bought my (then) girlfriend a KA2 in 1997/8 and it was fantastic car, and ahead of it's time.
     
  12. OP
    OP
    Scott_F

    Scott_F MB Enthusiast

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    I've always quite liked their cheeky looks which conceal the old Fiesta floorpan and even older engine.
     
  13. moonloops

    moonloops MB Enthusiast

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    There's only one thing missing from a Ka - that'll be the final K:D

    Only kidding, at least it's not a Puma :D
     
  14. HB

    HB MB Enthusiast

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    Are you sure about that. I saw s golf R recently blast a 918 into oblivion.
     
  15. 190

    190 MB Enthusiast

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    Watch for rust in the rear wing around the fuel filler flap. My son had one that rusted right through the wing and once you start looking at Ka's for the tell tale bubbles in the paint you'll see a lot of them.
     
    1 person likes this.
  16. fab1975

    fab1975 Active Member

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    Please don't take it personally, but the sight of that "thingy" reminds me of one of the worst motorway experiences I had in my life, when my commuting partner's R reg KA broke down near on the M56 near Warrington almost 10 years ago.

    To be completely fair, maybe her idea of putting pure water in the engine coolant tank the night before might have played a minor role in those events, considering that the external temperature was well below zero. Later on she blamed the mechanic... :crazy:

    It was a complete nightmare, as the engine stopped working when we were on the slow lane and so did the heating. The only good thing about the KA is that it has been the lightest car I have been pushing in my life, which turned to be quite a useful thing when I had to move it off the motorway on the slip road.

    When the AA van arrived 2 hours later (since she was not a member and proper customers had priority), the first thing that the hero driver did (and I mean it) was to get us in his warm van and give us some of his hot coffee.

    Moral of the story:
    - the KA is not a motorway car.
    - water freezes below zero degrees.
    - humans go into hypothermia
    - AA membership (or equivalent) is not a luxury, but a necessity for any motorway driver.
     
  17. Howard

    Howard MB Club Veteran

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    My wife had a Ka years ago , one of the most humiliating experiences of my life occurred when I decided to take it to North Devon instead of the MB 'to give it a run'

    Coming down a big hill , so with the necessary momentum , I pulled out to over take a big jag on that was sitting in front of me on a dual carriageway

    By the time I was alongside , the hill had bottomed out and we were on the start of the next hill , I just couldn't get past the jag , he was sitting at 70mph and the Ka was maxed out

    It was like one of those lorry overtakes that take miles. I couldn't fall back into line as the cars behind had moved to close the gap

    I was literally riding the drivers seat like a champion jockey rides a horse ... Screaming at it 'come on you bas****'

    Never again
     
  18. OP
    OP
    Scott_F

    Scott_F MB Enthusiast

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    It's tidy enough but the photos probably flatter to deceive. With such ancient underpinnings I couldn't really describe it as ahead of its time - the looks (and even the name) seemed very radical back in 1996 but it's really a case of style over substance.
     
  19. OP
    OP
    Scott_F

    Scott_F MB Enthusiast

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    It's definitely not a motorway car. The performance is adequate but it's very unrefined and the cabin noise at speed is intrusive.

    I've already done quite a few servicing jobs which included flushing the cooling system and replacing the anti-freeze and thermostat so I'm hoping to avoid any problems in that department.
     
  20. Bobby Dazzler

    Bobby Dazzler MB Club Veteran

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    As you will have guessed, I did mean concept and styling, rather than engineering!
     

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