Beautiful Evening - Hmmmmmm

[brucemillar]

This evening I decided to make the most of the warm weather. SO me the wife and my two daughters bundled into the car and headed off on a short but pleasant drive to Minster Beach. Minster Beach is located on the Island of Sheppey in Kent.

We park up in the Car Park and are out enjoying the view and the sea breeze. We then hear in the distance a crump crump crump sound and each crump is getting worryingly louder. Convinced it may be a WWII Blitz re-enactment I tried to look for the approaching Heinkels as they dropped their bombs. No luck, nothing to see. By now others in the car park were also looking worried, some had gathered their children close for safety. By now you could actually feel the air distorting as the pressure waves increased with every CRUMP CRUMP. Then it appeared.

A Vauxhall Nova that appeared to have it's entire body shell and windows being torn apart as it violently expanded and shrunk back CRUMP CRUMP.

Oh yes. This was the loudest most impersonal stereo I have ever heard in my life. Holy Moly - WTF is going on. This acne clad group of turds then proceeded to park up and leave their Boom Boom racket going at ear bleeding levels.

My piles fell off. I swear there was a guy who's ears were bleeding. Then (and I am not making this up) They were joined by other cars (also full of turds) who were in competition CRUMP BOOM BOOM THUD THUD CRUMP.

We left as my wife was developing blurred vision and the kids were starting to loose the balance as the earth below them vibrated.

Why can I not legally kill these people. Who designed them? Do their baseball caps actually come of their heads? Why do they have to show their underpants to everybody. Can they not afford a decent belt or some string to hold their trousers up.

Some of these turds looked like they had been force fed boiled sweets from a catapult at a young age. Either that or an accidental discharge from a 12 bore full of buck shot had caught them full in the chops.

So youth of Sheppey. We salute you. Thank you for ruining my evening.

 

[carat 3.6]

I share your pain.

 

[Dieselman]

Did you ask them what gear they were using, should help with this.

SKRILLEX - KYOTO (FT. SIRAH) - YouTube

 

[WDB124066]

There was a park-up on a beach in NZL that had that problem, the fix was for the local Council to play classical music through protected outdoor speakers. They lost interest and went somewhere else.

 

[Deleted member 37751]

Were there any gulls about?

 

[ringway]

Were there any galls about?

He was with his wife and children, Lee!

 

[Deleted member 65149]

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry reading that. The only consolation is that if they had brains they'd be dangerous.

One of their brethren has a 3-series BMW and is renting a room in a nearby house. When he's outside washing his car he needs his sounds at megawatt level to keep himself motivated, such that even we can feel every base note rock our foundations. Twice I'd been straight round there and asked him to turn it down, well actually had to shout at him to make myself heard. Each time he's excelled himself with a two syllable response: "OK". And sure enough he's turned it down by 50dB or so. But next wash it's been at full volume again. A couple of months ago I'd walked round to a friend's house to borrow his sledge hammer for some work I was doing in the garden. On the way back Mr shaking BMW was at it again. Once more I asked him to turn it down, but this time he managed an extra word, "Er OK", whilst looking apprehensively at the sledge hammer on my shoulder. Haven't heard a peep from him since!

 

[ringway]

This should cheer you up, Bruce.


[YOUTUBE]nb8_FNC8Bdw[/YOUTUBE]

 

[carat 3.6]

Did you ask them what gear they were using, should help with this.

SKRILLEX - KYOTO (FT. SIRAH) - YouTube

You can even tell which power tools they used when recording that.

 

[Satch]

An evening out for the Sheerness Massive perhaps?

Without doubt one of the most chav infested places I have ever been to. Makes Rhyll look like a class act.

 

[markjay]

Somewhere in Calais a beach party was going on....

 

[artyman]

Never mind when parked up, I wonder what it does for concentration when actually driving, must affect it surely, unless they are already deaf. Perhaps you should have offered a new battery for their hearing aids.

 

[The _Don]

Were there any gulls about?

His two daughters.

 

[ddavidm]

My youngest daughter, recently turned 7, always comments on these turds with their trousers hanging off their knees. The other week in the park, there were a bunch of such turds in waiting (probably just too young to drive the chavmobile you experienced) offending everyone with very loud music on an otherwise nice sunny day.
As we walked along, getting closer, (us on path, them just off path on grass) and as it became impossible for my daughter and I to communicate, she asked a turd to turn the noise down, and asked one of the other turds playing football (well, kicking the ball repeatedly against the tennis court fence doing his best to punch a hole in it to impress the chavettes) why his "knickers" were hanging out and declaring it "disgusting". It was clearly not part of turd's romancing strategy to be put on the spot by a 7 year old, and he turned a peculiar shade of red before sloping off whilst attempting, but failing, to adopt a swagger of someone who wasn't bovvered innit.

 

[brucemillar]

Visible from the beach at Minster (Sheppey) is the submerged wreck of the USS Montgomery. This was a WWII fully laden munitions ship which broker her back and sank in shallow water in the Thames Estuary, leaving her masts visible above water. Several thousand tons of munitions remain in and around the wreck. Some calculate that were it to detonate most of Sheppey would be blown to pieces.

Does anybody know where I could get hold of some detonators and a timer?

 

[Druk]

Why can I not legally kill these people. Who designed them?

I've often wondered the same. Great post though. Made me laugh.

 

[Ted]

Lad at work started wearing his trousers half way down his ar$e.

No problem. I promptly started doing the same with my 'sensible' pants on show.

Surprisingly, he's now moved on to less obnoxious fashion faux pas now.

 

[brucemillar]

On a more serious note:

Does anybody understand the need to wear your trousers in a manner that makes you look like you have dunged your underpants?

It does appear (and I have not studied this) that these creatures who dress like this, have had to perfect a style of walking last employed by neanderthal man, just to keep gravity from doing it's job.

I swear to you that some of these guys did look remarkably like early Javanese man. The sloping forehead, mono-eyebrow, low moaning grunts to communicate. Had they lit a fire out of sticks and killed a hairy mammoth for sustenance I think nobody there would have been in the slightest surprised.

One suspects that hairy mammoths would exist in this part of the world, possibly roaming the beaches in their Gucci bikini's. Breasts hanging like spaniels ears as they forage for a mate.

 

[DSM10000]

Visible from the beach at Minster (Sheppey) is the submerged wreck of the USS Montgomery. This was a WWII fully laden munitions ship which broker her back and sank in shallow water in the Thames Estuary, leaving her masts visible above water. Several thousand tons of munitions remain in and around the wreck. Some calculate that were it to detonate most of Sheppey would be blown to pieces.

Does anybody know where I could get hold of some detonators and a timer?

Apply for an EU grant and tell them you plan an environmental clean up with the added benefit of £20 million worth of local improvements and a significant reduction in the local spend on social security payments.

 

[WDB124066]

The best learning form all this I suspect is being able to get your daughters to understand (from ruining the day’s events) that these types are to be avoided at all cost. Don’t let them go down the path of rebelling against Dad/Mum by going out with one of them.

Work on that angle Bruce & maybe the frustration will ease........??