Bobby's kitchen

[Bobby Dazzler]

Mrs D is still under Doctor's orders to rest, and so I was in sole charge of provision of dinner this evening.

I may not have a scooter or loads of good looking friends, but I think this recipe could teach Jamie Oliver a thing or two.

I had a brain wave. We all share at least one MBClub recipe, which we then all try out for ourselves. Pass-it-on style.

We could succeed where Jamie failed in Rotherham with his Ministry of Food.

The difference is we don't need to be particularly healthy, and we don't have to open a shop in Rotherham.

Easier the better.

What do you say??

 

[Bobby Dazzler]

Guac one, two, or more

This feast was inspired by Gok Wan, and is called Guac one, two, or more.

OK, technically, this dish has absolutely nothing to do with Gok Wan, other than I was almost naked when cooking. His name was convenient though.

1. Place some oven chips on a pre-heated baking tray, and pop 'em in the oven at 200 deg C for 10 minutes.

Crinkly ones are best.

2. Turn chips and continue to cook for a further 10 minutes.

3. Boil the kettle, and pre-heat a wok. Pour the boiled water into the wok to simmer.

4. Place frankfurters into the simmering water, and heat for five minutes.

Great big Herta frankfurters are ideal.

5. Pour a tin of Stag original chilli into a bowl and microwave for 5 minutes.

6. Grate some cheese, and slice an onion into thick chunks.

The fine grating holes on the grater are best for this job.

7. Cut open your hot dog rolls, and place two frankfurters into each.

If you can't get the fat frankfurters you may need to use more than two of the thin variety.

8. Pour a generous quantity of chilli on to each hot dog, followed by cheese, and onion.

9. Finish the dish with a spoon of guacamole, salsa, maybe some jalopenos. Don't forget the crinkly chips.

10. Serve warm, with something good on the tele, maybe a Harry Hill Burp or You've Been Framed.

Mrs D gave it 7/10. I frowned, and she upped it to 7.5/10.

 

[jimti]

1. Place some oven chips on a pre-heated baking tray, and pop 'em in the oven at 200 deg C for 10 minutes.

Crinkly ones are best.

2. Turn chips and continue to cook for a further 10 minutes.

3. Boil the kettle, .

I read that far and was beginning to feel sorry for Mrs D, but to be honest is sounded better the further I got down the list,

I only do in Cab (truck) cooking which involves tins and Microwaves,

Well done, have a Banana for desert :bannana: :bannana: :bannana:

 

[timskemp]

1. Ring 118 118
2. Ask for nearest pizza shop
3. Order enough for everyone, giving name and address
4. Wait an indeterminate amount of time, probably not the amount told
5. Open door, receive pizza.

Serve with whatever wine you like. Or coke.

 

[scumbag]

Breakfast tips no.2

(Possibly not original work )

The traditional Bedouin wedding feast. (A filling breakfast to satisfy the largest appetite best served in a tent in the sahara. Serves up to 250)

You will need:
1 medium camel
1 medium north african goat
1 spring lamb
1 large chicken
1 egg
450 cloves of garlic
1 bail of fresh coriander.

1- take the prepared chicken and stuff with the egg, which should be hard boiled, and pad out with coriander
2- stuff the lamb with the chicken
3- stuff the goat with the lamb
4- stuff the camel with the goat. A pre-prepared camel is rather more convenient-don't be afraid to ask the butcher. Spike with garlic and brush with butter before cooking.
5- spit roast over a charcoal fire and an arid desert area for best results.

 

[Dieselman]

(Possibly not original work )

The traditional Bedouin wedding feast. (A filling breakfast to satisfy the largest appetite best served in a tent in the sahara. Serves up to 250)

You will need:
1 medium camel
1 medium north african goat
1 spring lamb
1 large chicken
1 egg
450 cloves of garlic
1 bail of fresh coriander.

Typical.....I'm out of eggs..

 

[Howard]

1) Boil kettle
2) Reach in cupboard , extract Pot Noodle
3) Peel foil lid off Pot Noodle
4) Pour water from kettle over Pot Noodle
5) Allow to swell / expand ..... add condiments ..
6) Enjoy ( in the loosest sense of the term )

Did you know you can eat a beef and tomato Pot Noodle if you are a vegetarian ?

 

[timskemp]

1) Boil kettle
2) Reach in cupboard , extract Pot Noodle
3) Peel foil lid off Pot Noodle
4) Pour water from kettle over Pot Noodle
5) Allow to swell / expand ..... add condiments ..
6) Enjoy ( in the loosest sense of the term )

Did you know you can eat a beef and tomato Pot Noodle if you are a vegetarian ?

ouch

With all my talk of pizza delivery, and the photo below, you'll be thinking I've turned back to a student...

 

[Howard]

If that is genuinely your cupboard , then as Ali G would say .......... Respec' !!

Perhaps ( with Mr Dazzlers permission ) this thread could evolve into a 'Show us the inside of your food cupboard' thread .....

 

[Bobby Dazzler]

If that is genuinely your cupboard , then as Ali G would say .......... Respec' !!

Perhaps ( with Mr Dazzlers permission ) this thread could evolve into a 'Show us the inside of your food cupboard' thread .....

Granted.

 

[Howard]

The larder at Toad Hall

 

[timskemp]

The larder at Toad Hall

I hope them mince pies have a long date on them.

 

[Bobby Dazzler]

The larder at Toad Hall

You appear to be particular fond of custard, H??!!

 

[The G.F.P]

your cupboards are a disgrace

mine have all the tins in one, all the cereal in another, drinks in another ect

i then face all the cans the right way

i have 1 or 2 friends who when making coffee mess with my tins as it drives me mad

oh and garlic is to be banned

 

[Uberwagon]

your cupboards are a disgrace

mine have all the tins in one, all the cereal in another, drinks in another ect

i then face all the cans the right way

i have 1 or 2 friends who when making coffee mess with my tins as it drives me mad

oh and garlic is to be banned

Snap, I felt a shiver down my spine as I saw the cereal box opened upside down

OCDs are a pain in the ****.

My favourite is....

Take 3 steaks, some Fajita sauce, grated cheese, caramalised red onion.

Cook the steak medium rare, make fajitas with the sauce, onion, then lay them all in a tray and pop under the grill to crispen the Fajita bread, then pour the sauce over and pop in the oven, then cover in cheese, open some beers and devour

Dave

 

[Bobby Dazzler]

Take 3 steaks, some Fajita sauce, grated cheese, caramalised red onion.

Cook the steak medium rare, make fajitas with the sauce, onion, then lay them all in a tray and pop under the grill to crispen the Fajita bread, then pour the sauce over and pop in the oven, then cover in cheese, open some beers and devour

Great start Dave. Looks like it's steak fajita for tea tonight then.

In honour of Howard, we'll have a carton of custard for pudding!!

 

[Dieselman]

I'm sure we've got other food cupboards...

 

[timskemp]

I'm sure we've got other food cupboards...

Arggghh - more mince pies!

Hersheys nuggets - where are you buying them from!!

And Lindt 85%, there's a bar of that on my coffee table. Nice.

 

[Gollom]

Golloms salmon....

Get yourself a oven proof dish....

The order of the ingredients is important. On the bottom put 2 salmon steaks/fillets. Season well then a sprinking of tarragon (or whatever herb you like). Then sliced vine tomatoes, sprinkle of olive oil (I use lemon flavoured) season and either...

Cover with cling film, pop a hole and cook at full for 2 mins. Let rest for a least 2 mins before uncovering and serving with new spuds or taglatelle. Use the right dish and you can even use it to eat from!

OR

Dot with butter, cover with foil and cook in medium oven for 10 mins. Serve as above.

Second method gives a more 'luxurious' result

 

[Dieselman]

Arggghh - more mince pies!

Hersheys nuggets - where are you buying them from!!

Even more mincies in the shape of Costco home baked....Not finished those yet so haven't started on the mincemeat with whiskey ones yet.. Just about to demolish another home baked now..

Hersheys also C/o Costco.