PJH
MB Enthusiast
7 reasons not to mess with a child
Number 1
A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow
a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow
a human;it was physically impossible.
The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher: asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".
Number 2
A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children
while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she
asked what the drawing was.
The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl:
replied, "They will in a minute."
Number 3
A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy
Mother,
she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family)
answered,
"Thou shall not kill."
Number 4
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had
several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some
of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and
then
said,
"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
Number 5
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all
grown
up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael,
He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
teacher,
She's dead. "
Number 6
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head,
the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little! fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."
Number 7
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the! apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the
table
was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
Number 1
A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow
a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow
a human;it was physically impossible.
The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher: asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".
Number 2
A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children
while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she
asked what the drawing was.
The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl:
replied, "They will in a minute."
Number 3
A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy
Mother,
she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family)
answered,
"Thou shall not kill."
Number 4
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had
several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some
of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and
then
said,
"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
Number 5
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all
grown
up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael,
He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
teacher,
She's dead. "
Number 6
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head,
the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little! fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."
Number 7
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the! apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the
table
was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
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