Commuting Dilema. Or me being silly?

[brucemillar]

Folks

What to do.

Following fairly recent major life changing surgery, I am now well and back at work. Whilst there is absolutely no doubting that I look well (outrageously handsome). Internally life has changed and will take years to recover. This means that on occasions I really do have to sit down or risk falling over in a heap.

I have the joy of using Network South East Trains from Kent to London. Getting seat is not a given and I am happy to chance it with everybody else. On a few occasions, having managed to get a seat I have been aware of the gaze of other passengers who obviously think that I should give up my seat for them.

Now were it a frail or obviously distressed passenger then there is no question I would do so. But I feel genuinely that in my case now my need is greater than those looking at me and thinking "give up your seat sonny boy"

What to do? I refuse to be defined by my surgery and would hate others to judge me by it. Equally I am genuinely, at times in need of that seat.

Should I just man up and go into my own world and stop being concerned about the feelings of others?

 

[Timster]

Sorry to hear of the lasting effects, but glad you're still going.

Is the train the only option for commuting? What's the road miles? Sounds like you might be an ideal candidate for an EV - sensible option to take into London as CC free etc?

Personally who cares what others think - if you need the seat then take it, if you see someone obviously worse off than you then i'm sure you'll give it to them.

 

[Red C220]

How about a stylish shooting stick umbrella seat contraption?

Tirion Seat Sticks, Shooting Sticks & Umbrellas | Walking Sticks & Seats

Added bonus being it makes you look even more like a Jolly Good Chap. Red trousers optional.

 

[geraldrobins]

I understand your sentiments but your health must come first. There must be may other fit passengers in a position to give up their seats. You cant all do it.

 

[Mike Walker]

Having commuted into London from North Kent for a number of years prior to retirement I appreciate how crowded it can get. I used to get on at the second stop from the end of the line at seats were scarce at times even then!
I would certainly not entertain driving from where you are Bruce, particularly aiming for Central London. I have a vision of you in an EV parked up near Bexley.....

My view would be take the seat and keep it as your needs are paramount. Give it up if you are feeling ok but be cautious.
Best wishes with the ongoing recovery.

 

[Giantvanman]

I think any reasonable person would have a concern if, as in your case, they are not obviously deserving of a seat. The choice is, as you say, be ready to either surrender the seat or be willing to justify its use. Personally, I would rather not share my medical history with commuters.

The sooting stick/shooting seat walking stick (equipped with a rubber end) as suggested by Red C220 is pretty good but it does require you to use your legs for balance, especially on a train. They do have advantage of offering support as a walking aid/instant use.

Another option is one of these Portable tripod folding seat stools - The Walkstool . I know it is yet another item to carry 'just in case' but I can assure you that they are strong (they hold me with ease), are very stable and crucially for your situation, extremely light and easy to erect/fold down.

 

[Gareth Kent]

Sounds like you have had a tough time and I wish you well with ongoing recovery. Who cares what other people think. Keep your seat if you need it and if you have not got one ask for one. Generally humans are actually quite polite and accommodating when given a chance.
That said if you want other options then the coaches are quite popular (if you can be regimented on time). I drive in daily and it works for me but only because I am on the road before 6am. The drive home can be particularly exhausting though, so it depends on how you are driving in traffic as you might swap the seat dilemma for road rage and stress.

 

[Red C220]

Generally humans are actually quite polite and accommodating when given a chance.

In general I agree with this statement, but in rush hour on public transport all polite behaviour seems to be suspended for the majority unfortunately.

I'm glad my commute is from my conservatory to my garden office now. I couldn't do the city again.

No chance of a home office situation Bruce?

 

[NDFR]

Wear a hoodie everyone will leave you alone.

 

[neilrr]

Get a disability railcard & buy a First Class ticket, there are usually seats available.

 

[brucemillar]

Neil

How does one go about getting a disability rail card? I did write to Network South East complaining about their complete lack of seating and short carriage trains. I got a very political response that loosely translated said p*ss off we don't actually care about you. It also said that buying a ticket is not contract to entertain giving me a seat blah, blah blah.

I was told (not sure if it is correct) that I am entitled to a blue badge. I don't really want one as I am not disabled so would be cheating. But if I could wangle a seat on the train that would be fantastic.

 

[Jonesy161]

It is a dilemma and your not being silly, if it irks your conscience, GVM's suggestion wins my vote regarding a light weight folding chair. It would cover you for all eventualities, especially that of your own wellbeing.

Look forward to the day when you could stand up all the way with no ill effects.

Good luck.

 

[Giantvanman]

Neil

How does one go about getting a disability rail card? I did write to Network South East complaining about their complete lack of seating and short carriage trains. I got a very political response that loosely translated said p*ss off we don't actually care about you. It also said that buying a ticket is not contract to entertain giving me a seat blah, blah blah.

I was told (not sure if it is correct) that I am entitled to a blue badge. I don't really want one as I am not disabled so would be cheating. But if I could wangle a seat on the train that would be fantastic.

Apologies for butting in. I think you have to contact the local council for a disabled badge application which you and your GP complete. Once approved, then you can approach the rail company. I see where you are coming from with regards to the badge but you don't have to use it for any purpose other than gaining access to the rail card.

 

[Doodle]

The blue badge covers a multitude of areas, some of which (from what you describe above) apply to you. If you're eligible, take it - as you say, you don't always have to use it, but then it's there if you need it.

 

[moonloops]

Folks

Internally life has changed and will take years to recover. This means that on occasions I really do have to sit down or risk falling over in a heap.

Sounds just like me after a few beers after work and travelling on the last train home called the vomit express

In general you don't need to give up seats for the ladies - after all they are NOT the weaker sex

Pregnant ones sure - but does come under the section in my book called "self inflicted"

The tube has stickers saying "Please give up this seat to those people less able to stand" - oh that'll be me then after 10pm tonight

 

[grober]

Profits leap for 'worst' rail firm Southeastern | This is Money

 

[renault12ts]

Folks

What to do.

Following fairly recent major life changing surgery, I am now well and back at work. Whilst there is absolutely no doubting that I look well (outrageously handsome). Internally life has changed and will take years to recover. This means that on occasions I really do have to sit down or risk falling over in a heap.

I have the joy of using Network South East Trains from Kent to London. Getting seat is not a given and I am happy to chance it with everybody else. On a few occasions, having managed to get a seat I have been aware of the gaze of other passengers who obviously think that I should give up my seat for them.

Now were it a frail or obviously distressed passenger then there is no question I would do so. But I feel genuinely that in my case now my need is greater than those looking at me and thinking "give up your seat sonny boy"

What to do? I refuse to be defined by my surgery and would hate others to judge me by it. Equally I am genuinely, at times in need of that seat.

Should I just man up and go into my own world and stop being concerned about the feelings of others?

Bruce, I am like you too...a gentleman of a certain age who thinks people are looking at me for my good boyish looks...stop kidding yourself...they aint. Stay seated!!

 

[j.schmeltzer]

BLUE BADGE: I have recently fought this battle. The current procedure is to fill out a lengthy questionnaire from your council and submit it. Some can do it online. No Dr. letter needed or wanted. You will be scheduled for an evaluation with a physical therapist and an occupational therapist. They do not look at your medical records nor will they even if furnished. They will not consider any medical evidence, Xrays, etc.They go strictly on your questionnaire and how you walk for 100 feet or so. Doesn't matter if you are in pain to do so or have to rest every 10 feet. I was rejected the first time, appealed, had another interview, never heard results for months. Follow up letter, no reply. After 4 months I filed a formal complaint with the council and contacted my MP. I said this is not about the merits of my application, it is about being ignored. They replied that I had been offered an interview and didn't show up. I called their bluff and got another interview, this time my wife accompanied me as a witness. Same people, very short interview, I got the badge.
As you can see, this is a very sore subject with me. They just do not want you to have a blue badge Your council may be different and I wish you luck..

 

[Meldrew2]

I was told (not sure if it is correct) that I am entitled to a blue badge. I don't really want one as I am not disabled so would be cheating. But if I could wangle a seat on the train that would be fantastic.

Get the blue badge (you don't have to use it) so if anyone takes issue with you needing the seat you can show it to them…

 

[Charles Morgan]

Commuting is really every man for himself.

When I was a regular commuter in London giving up a seat for anyone was regarded as a crime almost as bad as initiating a conversation or worse, being a provincial. You could move to Essex where no one would expect you to have any manners anyway.

My sister, at the time a senior operating surgery nurse, had her leg totally smashed in a motorcycle accident which led to her being registered disabled, with good reason. Being someone who refused to become useless at the age of 30, she carried on her career, but used the disabled parking (with her badge) at her hospital to save a long walk after a very long day on her feet. She had a black MX5 bought with some of the settlement money. On numerous occasions she found herself getting vicious abuse from elderly patients who didn't qualify. In the end she learned to toughen up and just ignored them.