Controlling people with a stick

[MOCAŠ]

Does anyone have any recent experience of this? I could do with some tips as I must be doing something wrong. Used to be quite adept at it, but these days people just seem to be hell bent on doing whatever they want.

 

[BTB 500]

Maybe you need a cattle prod?

We could lend you a few Border Collies

 

[WDB124066]

My Mother is good at controlling people with sticks, she was at the telephone repair men just recently!

You need to have supreme arrogance to pull it off every time MOCAS. Maybe you are becoming too soft...?

 

[Philbask]

Bigger Stick !!!

 

[c955]

It only works if they'll believe you'll use it. Then you can have PEACE THROUGH SUPERIOR FIREPOWER (or something like that) ;-)

 

[Deleted member 65149]

It all depends on where you stick the stick. A stiff, stumpy, steel, stick steadfastly stuck straight into the stomach of a stultified student will startle, stagger, sting and stimulate the stunned straggler into stuttering then stupendous stoicism.

 

[Charles Morgan]

I always found a Swaine and Adeney umbrella did the trick.

I still don't know in which which den of iniquity I left mine, but I was certainly heavily under the influence of vintage claret at the time.

 

[MOCAŠ]

I always found a Swaine and Adeney umbrella did the trick.

I still don't know in which which den of iniquity I left mine, but I was certainly heavily under the influence of vintage claret at the time.

Funny you should say that. I'm currently slumming it with a James Smith nylon jobbie after my trusty Brigg was half-inched last year (or perhaps I left it on a train... ). Maybe that's why people refuse to acknowledge its authority.

 

[DSM10000]

Does anyone have any recent experience of this? I could do with some tips as I must be doing something wrong. Used to be quite adept at it, but these days people just seem to be hell bent on doing whatever they want.

I believe a certain Mr M Mosley has experience in this area, perhaps you could approach him for the benefit of his advice?

 

[Harrythedog]

Put some fake dog poo on the bottom, that'll do the trick

 

[renault12ts]

Yes, yes...so what caused you to ask the question?

 

[finisterre]

it was probably you renault

 

[MOCAŠ]

Put some fake dog poo on the bottom, that'll do the trick

You'd think, but not even the real stuff works any more. People are just plain stupid.

 

[MOCAŠ]

Yes, yes...so what caused you to ask the question?

The sheer frustration of trying to negotiate a crowded pavement or make my way through a busy station. People (mainly foreigners, probably) just come at you from all directions. Not so long ago, a deftly waved brolly (just subtle wrist movements, you understand) was all it took - people would innately pick up on the subtle cues and go where they were directed. Occasionally it took a slight tap - nothing approaching violence, you understand.

Not any more - they just carry on going where they want to do, and will bloody-mindedly walk straight into the ferrule of my umbrella or cane, and then look at me as though it were somehow my fault. Jeez, I'm doing my best to help them, if only they knew it!

 

[seven]

I was certainly heavily under the influence of vintage claret at the time.

Good man.

 

[seven]

You need a lathi.

 

[developer]

He needs a couple of busty brunettes to drain his enthusiasm.

Sticks - pah!

 

[ringway]

Let it be known that there's Ricin in the tip of your brolly and the crowds will part like the Red Sea, MOCAS.

 

[SandradMrsp]

I'm a qualified secondary school teacher with 10 years experience, if you like I could give you some help with the death glare? Works a treat when you get it just right.

 

[c955]

Haha! I thought you were talking about the metaphoric carrot and stick.

Hang on a sec, have you considered throwing carrots at people to get them out of your way?