Cost Cutting in Toothpaste. A step to far.

[brucemillar]

This is driving me potty. Sad but infuriating.

I have noticed that with my favorite brand of toothpaste (Arm & Hammer) I am also buying a large quantity of air that I neither requested, wanted paid for.

You pick up the new tube. It appears pleasingly full and firm all the way up the tube. You open the tube. Toothpaste is visible at the open end. You gently squeeze the tube over your toothbrush and it immediately FARTS onto your awaiting brush and the bathroom sink as well as your dressing gown. Each day further FARTS are emitted as you make your way down the tube. My observation is that Arm & Hammer are deliberately injecting air into the tube at the expense of toothpaste that I paid for.

Not happy about this I have today tried some Colgate (inferior but minty). Bloody Hell. That FARTED like a heard of donkeys in the corner of a field, splattering toothpaste like a banger in a wet dog turd.

This is just not on. If I wanted air I could get it free just by breathing in & out. If I want to pay for it I can g to the Motorway Services and pay a £1 for token and fill my tyres at the same time.

At no point would I want it in my toothpaste.

Rant over.


Oh. Toothpaste in your eyes stings. It also stings if it lands on your willy. In fact it stings if applied anywhere apart from on your gnashers. I see no warning on my tube advising that the product may explode all over you and your bathroom if lightly squeezed.

 

[ChrisEdu]

Hmm... Not sure what you're doing with your toothpaste, but if farting it, I suspect you might not be using it in quite the way intended, which is backed up by your knowledge about how it burns on various anatomical areas.

My advice, by a pump action dispenser and try to keep it on your brush!

 

[Howard]

How do you end up with toothpaste on your chopper ?!

Something not right with your technique Bruce for sure

 

[ChrisEdu]

How do you end up with toothpaste on your chopper ?!

Something not right with your technique Bruce for sure

Unless he's a 1970s TV star telling his lady friend it's the best way to clean her teeth!

 

[brucemillar]

Hmm... Not sure what you're doing with your toothpaste, but if farting it, I suspect you might not be using it in quite the way intended, which is backed up by your knowledge about how it burns on various anatomical areas.

My advice, by a pump action dispenser and try to keep it on your brush!

Please be assured here. My anatomical knowledge has been gained as the unintended consequence of dispensing the toothpaste in the time honoured fashion. Or put simply: Squeezing the tube by hand with the expectation that the contents will be applied onto my toothbrush. Adding more complexity to the the tube does not account for the deliberate injection of air into the tube by the manufacturer in (what I see as) a deliberate attempt to make more money per tube.

 

[markjay]

It's not just 'air'... it's Nitrogen.

 

[Deleted member 6183]

You should copy your post to the manufacturer, word for word, bound to get some free product.

 

[ChrisEdu]

It's not just 'air'... it's Nitrogen.

Unless it's from M&S, in which case, it's not just air, it's M&S air.

 

[ChrisEdu]

Toothpaste does make for a very good spot treatment and is also useful as a fine cutting compound.

 

[brucemillar]

It's not just 'air'... it's Nitrogen.

Were it Nitrogen? Would I not be seeing green dust cap and an invoice from KwikFit?

 

[boxbrownie]

I cannot say I have ever encountered a "farting" tube of toothpaste.........

Are you sure your buying the real thing and not Harm & Stammer or Coldgate?

Chinese will copy anything nowadays........sent from my iPrad

 

[renault12ts]

To stop the farting you should stand the tube on it's lid...the toothpaste will then fall to the farting end...but no farts should issue henceforward.

 

[Darrell]

I need threads like this on a Monday morning. Thanks.

 

[del320]

I prefer to continue using Gibbs Dentifrice. You just rub your toohbrush (but nothing else) in it.

 

[AMGeed]

Post of the month!
Thanks for the laugh Bruce

 

[Deleted member 6183]

Arm and Hammer is never going to give you the Colgate confident ring though is it?

 

[Mike Walker]

Great post but somewhat disturbing too. If and when we do meet to compare W124 estates we should not discuss toothpaste please ;-)

 

[Ted]

Toothpaste does make for a very good spot treatment and is also useful as a fine cutting compound.

Yes. On white paintwork you'll wonder where the yellow went.

 

[HB]

Bruce , you're hilarious.
I might try some on my willy, sounds cheaper than that place I visit in Cologne....

 

[Deleted96908]

Bruce , you're hilarious.
I might try some on my willy, sounds cheaper than that place I visit in Cologne....

Save yourself a trip and put Cologne on your willy