Cow based economic lesson

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EVL

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Copied from another forum. Thought it was pretty good.


A Cow based Economics Lesson;
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

REALITY
You have two cows.
The bank takes both cows for unpaid credit.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You pay high-taxes and you don't know where they go.
Life becomes miserable year by year and it becomes difficult to survive.
Meanwhile riches are getting richer and richer thanks to you.
You think whether Capitalism was the right system from the beginning?
You think it's time to change the system? To Socialism, maybe?
You go out and Occupy Wall Street and say hell why not go and occupy other places as well?
Just to **** the Corporations and make the government finally do something.

Nigerian Corporation
You send Email to 5000 people to come claim the Cow Ranch of a dead Government Cow breeder.
2 Greedy fools respond
You milk the greedy dullards

APPLE
You have two cows.
You sue everyone who keeps living animals that have four legs, two eyes and rounded edges.

Occupy Pasture
You have two cows - which you worked toward, doing without milk for years and years until you finally earn one.
I don't have any. I don't want to get my own cow or earn a cow or work toward a cow or two so...
I occupy your pasture, block your cows from reaching food or water until you give me one. (Or the government pepper-sprays me :^)
The government takes one of yours and gives it to me. After all its your fault that you have cows and I don't!
I don't know how to feed, take care of, or milk a cow - my cow dies.
Rinse.... Repeat...

American corporation
You kick your cows out on the street with a "non-compete" notice glued to their udders and buy milk from China for resale here. Later say you had no idea it was stretched with melamine.

Mexican government has two cows, one cow to smuggle drugs and the other you eat with onion, cilantro, lime. avocado and tortillas.

US WELFARE
You see someone who has worked hard to buy cows
The hard worker supplies you with milk
But you want the whole cow
You complain to the government because it isn't fair that you don't have cows
The government takes a cow from the hard worker and gives it to you
Your brother wants a cow too
He complains to the government
The government takes the other cow from the hard worker
You and your brother are both too lazy to milk the cows
The cows get sick because they aren't getting milked and they die
Now no one has any cows or milk.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

A PORTUGAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One of them is dying.
And the other is sold to Germany Corporation.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows
Who cares
Let's party.

PAKISTANI CORPORATION
You buy two cows from Australia as part of International assistance to flood victims. You don't know how to milk them. USA sends consultants to help you hire two British milkmen. You pay the consultants and the milkmen. Milk is confiscated by USA on pretext of potential use by Taliban. Milk is sent as a gift from Pakistani people to American troops in Afghanistan.
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