Dear MissyD...

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@Ted Looks like you're in the spare room!
 
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Dear Aunty MissyD
Mrs Ted has started insisting we let the dog sleep on the bed.
It’s bloody awful with the bad breath, the farting and the body smells, and I’m convinced the dog won’t improve things.
I’m at my wits end, and wonder if you have any advice.

Thanking you in advance.

By the dog a bed :banana:
 
Dear MissyD,
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year. We enjoy sex, but recently she has been talking a lot about her ex. that has given rise to a strange problem. Everytime I try to get intimate with her, I hear her ex's voice coming from her navel and asking me to get lost. I have done some research and other MB enthusiast's have suggested that her navel is a portal to her ex. Since this suggesstion I now hear "get lost" and the growling of a V8 AMG from her naval. I love her very much and I want to marry her. It is really worrying me and need your expert opinion - what to do?
 
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I've seen this before @Phillipe , its the classic case of you're happy playing your favourite Robinson Crusoe game on your games console and your gf starts taking advantage of you. In the kerfuffle you drop the controller, things start to progress and then you hear the voice, it appears to be coming from her navel but its because you forgot that your were playing the game with your mates and the voice is actually coming from the tv. There's a bit of interference tho and so you get what sounds like "get lost" but in fact its "get help, we're lost!" just part of the game. The growling is purely due to your gf having not eaten much because you spend all day either playing computer games or playing around. One important bit of advice tho, don't always trust MB enthusiasts!
 
Dear Missy D,

I was going to pop in for a long overdue drink at your pub last night, but went to the wrong one by mistake. I asked the barmaid for a double entendre and she gave me one, and I ended up staying.

Anyway, my question; when I was 18 I couldn't bend it with both hands but now I'm nearer 70 I can bend it with my little finger. Does this mean I'm getting stronger?
 
Dear MissyD,

My new girlfriend thinks I love my car more than her but I have no idea why she thinks that. Of course this isn't true because I do love her very much. I find lately that whenever I am beating off in the car that the sweet spot for the engine is about 1500 rpm when it used to be at idle. I am wondering if this is a problem with the V8 engine or if it is something else. I have taken advice off other forums and make sure I am always parked in an isolated and safe place and found that blue for the ambient lighting works best for me. I could adjust the idle rpm to 1500 to save having to keep my foot on the pedal but wonder if this may cause other problems. My girlfriend has tried pressing the pedal for me but she always gets in the way and doesnt know much about cars. I expect you have seen this before and this is why I am asking for your advice. I love my girlfreind very much and would like to marry her one day.
 
Dear Missy D,

I was going to pop in for a long overdue drink at your pub last night, but went to the wrong one by mistake. I asked the barmaid for a double entendre and she gave me one, and I ended up staying.

Anyway, my question; when I was 18 I couldn't bend it with both hands but now I'm nearer 70 I can bend it with my little finger. Does this mean I'm getting stronger?

absolutely, those yoga classes you've been going to all these years has certainly paid off, well done
 
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Think of all the fuel you're using @Phillipe , it would definitely be cheaper to get your gf to help you without using the pedal.
 
Dear MissyD,

Any advice you can offer will be greatly appreciated. Unfortunately, I do not have a gf. Not for 30 years, anyway. In fact, it's been so long since I last had one, that I don't even remember what it was like. Reading everyone's comments, they all seem to have one. Do you think it would be appropriate for me to have gf, especially at my age?

PS - the wife thinks not.

Yours,

markjay
 
Think of all the fuel you're using @Phillipe , it would definitely be cheaper to get your gf to help you without using the pedal.
Thanks for tip but being aware of the costs I already make sure im in ECO mode before I pull off. Regarding the pedal I will ask the wife for some assistance.
 
Dear MissyD,

Any advice you can offer will be greatly appreciated. Unfortunately, I do not have a gf. Not for 30 years, anyway. In fact, it's been so long since I last had one, that I don't even remember what it was like. Reading everyone's comments, they all seem to have one. Do you think it would be appropriate for me to have gf, especially at my age?

PS - the wife thinks not.

Yours,

markjay

Depends on what you need a gf for, would it be for 1.housekeeping duties or 2. pleasure? Either way I'm sure your wife will come around to the idea if you explain to her all the positives...
1. no more washing, ironing and cooking and 2. no need to say she has a headache or is too tired!

Either way a win win situation for you :thumb:
 
Thanks for tip but being aware of the costs I already make sure im in ECO mode before I pull off. Regarding the pedal I will ask the wife for some assistance.

As you are obviously concerned about saving energy, why not save yourself even more and get your gf or wife to do it for you
 
..I'm sure your wife will come around to the idea if you explain to her all the positives...

Hmmm.... sounds like a risky strategy....
 
:eek:
Dear MissyD

I am a bit worried, my car has a chipped windscreen and Autoglass have been contacted by my insurers to do a repair. My wife has just rung to say that Gavin from Autoglass has been and injected his special resin into the crack. I am a bit concerned as I am at work and the car is in the car park..................
 

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