Tuercas viejas
MB Enthusiast
A bit of workshop mirth for the weekend and maybe some of you can personify~!
Maxim #1
Don't lie to your Mechanic, simply because modern equipment & computer service records will catch you out each & every time!
AND
So came to pass that on this occasion it was a 2005 Lincoln Navi Gator (Nasty gaiter) land yacht.
views 2005 lincoln navigator - Google Search:
But it could have easily been a Mercedes even a Sprinter!
Customer turns up with CEL on and miss-fires, I heard at the desk "Dennis put an engine in it only two years ago and its got problems. I do my own servicing so it something serious wrong!
Can you check if the warranty has expired?"
Looking back in the records & yes a take out, a good used engine installed in year 2011 more than 6 and half years ago! (Miles then was 59,000, now 259,203 .)
A quick whip over with a black light, the plugs Ahamm! are the originals! Fitted by me, Oh so long ago now ! Nor I bet no real serving done in more than 200,000 miles!
Own servicing--Its all barefaced lies
Maxim #2
Don't lie to your wife, especially when another woman is involved!~ Facebook will catch you out! OMG! Besides women are good at finding this stuff out !
The same goes when it comes to expensive car repairs!
The same guy and his Navigator! Some Guys never learn!
The engine and the install was $6K.
He put down a deposit of $3K in cash to get the ball rolling.
Once done I pressed him for the balance! I could tell be was cash poor!
The car went into storage!
Then one Saturday in came this lady in a business suit spouting fire and brimstone & Alexander her not so "Great" better half was a few steps behind!
As the ferocious one sided verbal attack from a lucifer re-incarnate in the form of a woman-----Crikey! As the tirade slowed I presented the contract from the R/O rack !!
She instantly picked up the 3000 deposit on the paperwork! YIKES --CASH-!-the job was $6000 not $3000 as she was not aware of this turn of events
Turning to her husband the fire and brimstone took aim! ROOAR
As only a pi$$ed a woman can say it;- [B"]WE NEED TO TALK"[/B]
At this stage even a macho latino would most likely cower--La Dragona
Acting like a caring Clef d'Or concierge I ask "Would you two folks like to use an office "?
NO! We will, discuss this outside in MY CAR --ITS a Ranger Rover!
Yes Maam!
About ten minutes later she comes back with poor hubby a few steps behind like a whipped/thrashed whippet with its tail between its legs!
We will be back in two weeks to settle up--So! Moral here don't lie to the missus and use the family budget to fix yer car!~ Even if you think its yours!
Maxim#3
Don't lie to Almighty God--You will get caught out!
As a small boy in England, my native Gloucestershire to be exact, the local vicar dressed like a 1950's version of Darth Vader scared the BeJezus out of us children in the village church about lying!
Since I am told the Almighty is all forgiving your best bet is not to the cross swords with the missus by cheating & lying especially where car repairs are concerned.
So it brings me to what might I do in retirement.
One possible path is be a man of the cloth, a back sliding Episcopalian of the Anglican Church to be exact! Dressed like Darth Vader clergyman. (A bit like Father Brown--but he was Catlick) Expounding the virtues of life, peddling around in rural Gloucestershire on my ex 1947 Swiss Army bicycle & that of not cheating & lying to wives and mechanics.
It might be a fruitful endeavor--Could even be a TV series with delightful wealthy young widows to visit Any more tea vicar ?
Oh yes PG Tips please but no sugar ! Any buns?
Dennis
Last edit
Maxim #1
Don't lie to your Mechanic, simply because modern equipment & computer service records will catch you out each & every time!
AND
So came to pass that on this occasion it was a 2005 Lincoln Navi Gator (Nasty gaiter) land yacht.
views 2005 lincoln navigator - Google Search:
But it could have easily been a Mercedes even a Sprinter!
Customer turns up with CEL on and miss-fires, I heard at the desk "Dennis put an engine in it only two years ago and its got problems. I do my own servicing so it something serious wrong!
Can you check if the warranty has expired?"
Looking back in the records & yes a take out, a good used engine installed in year 2011 more than 6 and half years ago! (Miles then was 59,000, now 259,203 .)
A quick whip over with a black light, the plugs Ahamm! are the originals! Fitted by me, Oh so long ago now ! Nor I bet no real serving done in more than 200,000 miles!
Own servicing--Its all barefaced lies
Maxim #2
Don't lie to your wife, especially when another woman is involved!~ Facebook will catch you out! OMG! Besides women are good at finding this stuff out !
The same goes when it comes to expensive car repairs!
The same guy and his Navigator! Some Guys never learn!
The engine and the install was $6K.
He put down a deposit of $3K in cash to get the ball rolling.
Once done I pressed him for the balance! I could tell be was cash poor!
The car went into storage!
Then one Saturday in came this lady in a business suit spouting fire and brimstone & Alexander her not so "Great" better half was a few steps behind!
As the ferocious one sided verbal attack from a lucifer re-incarnate in the form of a woman-----Crikey! As the tirade slowed I presented the contract from the R/O rack !!
She instantly picked up the 3000 deposit on the paperwork! YIKES --CASH-!-the job was $6000 not $3000 as she was not aware of this turn of events
Turning to her husband the fire and brimstone took aim! ROOAR
As only a pi$$ed a woman can say it;- [B"]WE NEED TO TALK"[/B]
At this stage even a macho latino would most likely cower--La Dragona
Acting like a caring Clef d'Or concierge I ask "Would you two folks like to use an office "?
NO! We will, discuss this outside in MY CAR --ITS a Ranger Rover!
Yes Maam!
About ten minutes later she comes back with poor hubby a few steps behind like a whipped/thrashed whippet with its tail between its legs!
We will be back in two weeks to settle up--So! Moral here don't lie to the missus and use the family budget to fix yer car!~ Even if you think its yours!
Maxim#3
Don't lie to Almighty God--You will get caught out!
As a small boy in England, my native Gloucestershire to be exact, the local vicar dressed like a 1950's version of Darth Vader scared the BeJezus out of us children in the village church about lying!
Since I am told the Almighty is all forgiving your best bet is not to the cross swords with the missus by cheating & lying especially where car repairs are concerned.
So it brings me to what might I do in retirement.
One possible path is be a man of the cloth, a back sliding Episcopalian of the Anglican Church to be exact! Dressed like Darth Vader clergyman. (A bit like Father Brown--but he was Catlick) Expounding the virtues of life, peddling around in rural Gloucestershire on my ex 1947 Swiss Army bicycle & that of not cheating & lying to wives and mechanics.
It might be a fruitful endeavor--Could even be a TV series with delightful wealthy young widows to visit Any more tea vicar ?
Oh yes PG Tips please but no sugar ! Any buns?
Dennis
Last edit
