Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics please)

[ALFAitalia]

A delivery driver pulled over beside me the other day and asked what the time was.
I said no problem - it’s between 8am and 5pm.

We had to cancel our village fete .....after a nasty outbreak of tombola........

What is the first rule of the Condescension Club? – well its quite complicated actually, I don’t think you’d understand it.

 

[ALFAitalia]

 

[ALFAitalia]

 

[MissyD]

Went to get an ice cream...

 

[flying haggis]

 

[poormansporsche]

why do I envisage Martin clunes and neil morrisey giggling over this...

With a couple of Kylie gags chucked in for good measure.

I still to this day call the wife a "malingering tart" and she calls me "you Mazda"

 

[Darrell]

I still to this day call the wife a "malingering tart" and she calls me "you Mazda"

Mazda

The hand signal is the nearest I could get.

 

[poormansporsche]

Mazda

The hand signal is the nearest I could get.

Even after 20 years I could never a Mazda even if I wanted to because I could not cope with the ribbing from the wife !!!!

 

[Swotty]

 

[Darrell]

 

[A.J.]

 

[Swotty]

View attachment 130858

This reminded me .......

Mrs Swotty recently said to me “…and you never listen to a word I say!”

”What a strange way to start a conversation,” I thought.

 

[DSM10000]

 

[DSM10000]

 

[DSM10000]

 

[A.J.]

 

[A.J.]

 

[Swotty]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[DSM10000]