Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics please)

[ringway]

 

[Wolfie1]

Whats the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?

your missus cant take a joke!

 

[Deleted member 37751]

This is the first year I won't be running the London marathon because of COVID.


Normally I don't do it because I'm fat and can't run.

 

[Flyinspanner]

There was an explosion at the pie factory.

The blast could be heard 3.142 miles away.

 

[poormansporsche]

There was an explosion at the pie factory.

The blast could be heard 3.142 miles away.

I was reading this too early in the morning must have taken me a good 3.142 minutes to get it !

 

[ToeKnee]

It's been quiet at work this morning so I've been pretending to be different types of wood, now I'm board..........

 

[poormansporsche]

It's been quiet at work this morning so I've been pretending to be different types of wood, now I'm board..........

What a plank

 

[Nicebutdim]

When Gene Pitney died it took 3 days to make an oak coffin.

it would have been only 24 hours from balsa.

 

[ChrisEdu]

The most cautious cheese in my fridge is Caerphilly.

 

[ringway]

 

[ChrisEdu]

View attachment 103553

But it's plants in bra!

 

[ringway]

But it's plants in bra!

If there are wasps on the plants, it could be a swarm in a D cup.

 

[Nicebutdim]

If the wasps got caught it could be a booby trap.

 

[AMGeed]

 

[Chrishazle]

Too much alcohol in the sausage meat (or the chef!)

 

[Swotty]

View attachment 103553

Are they succulents?

 

[ringway]

View attachment 103587

They look like GREGGS.

 

[flying haggis]

Just bought a Volvo from Neil Diamond on eBay.


Swede car online.

 

[Flyinspanner]

I have a recurring dream when I divide one by three.......

 

[ringway]

Just bought a Volvo from Neil Diamond on eBay.


Swede car online.

I thought I'd have a go at the karaoke.

Tha barmaid asked "Are you the guy doing Neil Diamond?

"I am..." I said.