Even more new jokes...

[AMGeed]

 

[NJSS]

There are six native species of owl in the UK: barn, tawny, little, short-eared, long-eared and teat.

 

[Happytalk73]

There are six native species of owl in the UK: barn, tawny, little, short-eared, long-eared and teat.

I got my (then) 6 year old daughter with that one. Told her there was one in the kitchen and she could have a fiver if she spotted it. Mrs Ant and myself was howling laughing once we told her. Daughter still unimpressed with the joke to this day.

 

[NJSS]

HappyTalk - that made me smile.

NJSS

 

[Harrythedog]

Couldn’t post video

 

[Swotty]

I got my (then) 6 year old daughter with that one. Told her there was one in the kitchen and she could have a fiver if she spotted it. Mrs Ant and myself was howling laughing once we told her. Daughter still unimpressed with the joke to this day.

As a friend once said ... "when God made women he left something out" (in a West Country accent). At times, I am inclined to agree.

Please don't tell Mrs Swotty ... took me years to get her to iron my socks and underpants.

And another few years to explain she needed to wash them first.

 

[John]

I got my (then) 6 year old daughter with that one. Told her there was one in the kitchen and she could have a fiver if she spotted it. Mrs Ant and myself was howling laughing once we told her. Daughter still unimpressed with the joke to this day.

Reminds me of one of my guys at work in the IT support team - in his late 20s so still relatively young.

We have an employee called Teresa and periodically if she crops up in conversation, I refer to her as Teresa Green.

Eventually after weeks and weeks, her name cropped up again and I said it as usual and he asked with mild frustration "Who is this Teresa Green you are talking about... I don't know of a Teresa Green!".

Lol. The look on his face when I explained... I must have laughed for a good while on and off that day.

I'm surprised anyone would fall for that. It's like the old "Can you buy me some elbow grease and red spotted paint".

 

[Chrishazle]

My children a few decades ago gave me a pot of Elbow Grease for Xmas - from a well known high street supplier! I used to send trainees for a tin of black and yellow striped hazard warning paint - and off shore, on the rig, either for the key to the V door (the V shaped entry one side of the derrick where pipes were lifted in) or to take a bucket of water to the water table (at the very top of the derrick, I don't know to this day why it's called the water table, but the idea of trying to climb 100+ft on the ladder up the side carrying a bucket of water fills me with dread!!).

 

[artyman]

I phoned my wife up at her office one time, to get me some Sky Hooks from a hardware shop near where she worked. She arrived home with some cup hooks which she threw at me, having discussed her purchase with colleagues on her return to the office, discovering it was a wind up.

 

[DSM10000]

 

[John N]

I phoned my wife up at her office one time, to get me some Sky Hooks from a hardware shop near where she worked. She arrived home with some cup hooks which she threw at me, having discussed her purchase with colleagues on her return to the office, discovering it was a wind up.

What Wind Up?

The Harrier "Sky Hook":

 

[D-18]

 

[Meldrew2]

Iraq have offered to send a peace-keeping force to America...

 

[m80]

In search of Madman of crass destruction.

 

[ringway]

 

[LTD]

There is differing levels of wrong about that !!!

 

[DSM10000]

View attachment 107284 View attachment 107284 Just off to the Co-op, would you like me to get anything for you?

 

[23 Romeo Tango]

 

[ioweddie]

 

[ringway]