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A wag in my class at school got there first. When told that our homework was to “Write 500 words on your front door”, he duly did just that. 500 random words on a front door that he and his older brother carried to school the next day.
The Perfect Man
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank. "
Passenger: Who?
Cabbie: Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time.
Like my coming along when you needed a cab . . . things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.
Passenger: There are always a few clouds over everybody.
Cabbie: Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete! He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis.
He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy!
Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.
Cabbie: There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday.
He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out.
But Frank Feldman could do everything right.
Passenger: Wow, quite a guy!
Cabbie: Frank never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.
His clothing was always immaculate, and shoes highly polished, too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake.
No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.
Passenger: An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?
Cabbie: Well, I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.
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