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Big Janner

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Not new, but, I like it;

Medical experts in London today were asked if it is time to ease the COVID lockdowns.

Allergists were in favour of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but Neurologists thought the government lacked the nerve.
Obstetricians felt certain everyone was labouring under a misconception, while Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.
Many Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while Paediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"
Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and pharmacists claimed it would be a bitter pill to swallow.
The Maxiofacial Surgeon thought that the proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter” whilst the cardiologists felt that they couldn't whole heartedly support it.
Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but Urologists were pissed off by the whole idea.
Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, and Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
It was enough to make the trichologist pull his hair out and the orthopaedic surgeon voiced the opinion that the new measures wouldn't stand up.

In the end, the Proctologists/Colorectal Surgeons won out, leaving the entire decision up to the a**holes in politics.
 

Meldrew2

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Mine: BMW X4 2.0d M-Sport (Red) Hers: BMW X1 2.0d M-Sport (Black) Sorry about that...
Nerves of Steel!
Woman stops 4-metre croc with .22 pistol
A Darwin woman, Beverly Thompson, 38, has stopped a crocodile attack using a small .22 calibre Ruger pistol.
This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.

Here's her story in her own words:

"While walking along the edge of a lake near my house in the Villages Estate near Darwin, discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 4-metre crocodile which suddenly emerged from the murky water.
"It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. "If I had not had my little Ruger 22 calibre pistol with me, I wouldn't be here today!" said Beverly.
"Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took.
“The croc got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.
“The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus!
It really makes a good case for permits to carry licensed firearms in the Territory!”
 

grober

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