Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics please)

[Chrishazle]

Now I'm wondering what I missed!!

 

[Petrol Pete]

Nothing to see here sir..move along.

 

[Peter103]

I ordered Meatballs in a Korean restaurant, they really are the "dogs bollocks"!

 

[Peter103]

The sign in our Thai hotel reads "All the drinking water in this hotel has been passed by the management".

 

[moonloops]

It's the Queen's birthday today so I celebrated by eating 3KG's of skittles.

I've been pooping the colour since 12.45 !

 

[AMGeed]

Topical

 

[Deleted member 6183]

Topical
View attachment 77441

That looks like Frank Zappa.

 

[John N]

That looks like Frank Zappa.

Heh,I thought it WAS Frank Zappa!

 

[Peter103]

A lady I know confided in me that each time she undressed she could hear whistling from her vagina, sometimes quite tuneful, but she was too embarrassed to tell the doctor.
I suggested, next time it happens record it and take it along to the doctor, and play it to him in the surgery.
I met her again last week as she'd just left the surgery, and asked her how it went.
She said I played him the tape a few times and asked him what he thought it could be, after much thought and deliberation, he finally came up with, "yes , very interesting, but it just sounds like some c##t whistling to me".

 

[moonloops]

I wrote down every lie I had made and every problem I had in a book. I then flushed it down the toilet when I was at King's Lynn.



I'm sure it will all come ou tin the wash.

 

[markjay]

Father [breathing heavily, holding his chest]: "Son! Quick! Call me an ambulance!"

Son: "OK dad... you're an ambulance."

Father [whispering]: "I am very proud of you son...." [dies]

 

[ioweddie]

 

[ioweddie]

 

[ioweddie]

 

[Deleted member 65149]

Paddy, “Why do scuba divers fall backwards off their boat?”
Murphy, “If they fell forwards they’d fall into the boat.”

 

[D-18]

Trump and KJU agree a trade deal.....

 

[D-18]

 

[markmifsud]

on a similar note

 

[clk320x]

 

[ioweddie]