Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics please)

[Abb]

 

[MissyD]

B&Q's new home delivery contract is under debate!

B&Q lorry ploughs into house

 

[Rayny]

View attachment 90948

Can I like that again ?

 

[Dichtung]

Small man waiks into hospital and enters the Urology Dept.
Doctor, How can I help/
Man, Well erm, you promise not to laugh ?
Doctor, I`m a doctor, I don`t laugh at patients, whatever is wrong, I`ve seen a thousand times before.
Man, You promise not to laugh ?
Doctor, Ok ok ok ok I promise.
Man drops his pants, and he has the smallest willy ever. Bit less than an AAA battery.
The doctor spins round trying to supress laughing with his hand, but inevitably bursts out laughing.
Man, You promised not to laugh.
Doctor, (wiping away tears) I know, I`m sorry, I do apologise. Most unprofessional of me .Now, what`s the problem?

Man, It`s SWOLLEN.

 

[D-18]

 

[bob6600]

 

[D-18]

 

[AMGeed]

 

[Deleted member 37751]

Got some sad news today.

After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients & now can no longer work in the job he loves; what a waste of time, training & money.

A genuinely nice guy, and a brilliant vet.

 

[del320]

Got some sad news today.

After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients & now can no longer work in the job he loves; what a waste of time, training & money.

A genuinely nice guy, and a brilliant vet.

Ho Ho Ho - still funny after third telling (see posts# 286 and # 350)

 

[D-18]

 

[D-18]

 

[baxlin]

Ho Ho Ho - still funny after third telling (see posts# 286 and # 350)

At least the 4th telling, as you quoted it?

 

[Deleted member 37751]

If I put a 12 pound turkey in a fan assisted oven at 180C does anyone know how long it will take to die?

 

[Deleted member 6183]

If I put a 12 pound turkey in a fan assisted oven at 180C does anyone know how long it will take to die?

Gas?

 

[AMGeed]

 

[bob6600]

 

[Peter103]

Removed.

 

[Mr. B]

Bought the wife a new a Mercedes last Christmas.
I don’t think she liked it, only used it once.

 

[Flyinspanner]

Gas?

Dehydration