Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics please)

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Do not try this at home, awful headache this morning 😂!!
 

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This is brilliant the longer you watch it !!
 
Fake news indicates Trump has been removed from office because of his handling of the covid crisis.
He tweeted that the event was unpresidented.
 
If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have £49.00 today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have £33.00 today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have £0.00 today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Northern Rock three years ago, you would have £0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer one year ago at Tesco, drank all the beer, then taken the aluminium cans to the scrap metal dealer, you would have received a £214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.



A recent study found that the average Briton walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found that Britons drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

That means that, on average, Britons get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you proud to be British 🍻🍻🍻
 
I actually groaned out loud at that one
 

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