Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics please)

[ChrisEdu]

Knowing we have a few watch fans on here.....

View attachment 96271

Only 12!? Poor chap!

 

[moonloops]

Hope we are all planning celebrations for the VE Day anniversary today?

I’ll be raising a glass to my grandad who singlehandedly brought down 40 German aircraft. Worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

It's disgraceful to tell war jokes, my grandad died in a concentration camp.



He fell out of his machine gun tower.

 

[Swotty]

It's disgraceful to tell war jokes, my grandad died in a concentration camp.



He fell out of his machine gun tower.

You had me - the line break is perfect!

 

[Swotty]

 

[ringway]

The lockdown is getting to me now.

When I see a nurse in a porno film, I have to get up and clap before I can knock one out.

 

[Swotty]

The lockdown is getting to me now.

When I see a nurse in a porno film, I have to get up and clap before I can knock one out.

In these modern times of LGTBUVWXYZ+-> .... I do hope the nurse is a she?

 

[markjay]

In these modern times of LGTBUVWXYZ+-> .... I do hope the nurse is a she?

Why?

 

[alabbasi]

 

[Swotty]

Why?

I just imagine Hattie Jacques.

I know, but it intrigued me forever. That's why I married a nurse.

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[Wolfie1]

I just imagine Hattie Jacques.

I know, but it intrigued me forever. That's why I married a nurse.

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i married 1 too but not for your reason

 

[alzieboy]

One for the Brickies

 

[D-18]

 

[MissyD]

 

[ringway]

 

[ioweddie]

Bring me Sunshine

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=oXvJ8UquYoo&vq=large

 

[Gollom]

My mate said he's shagging twins. I asked if he could tell them apart and he said it's easy - her brother has a moustache.

Shamelessly stolen from a Billy Connolly book

 

[Meldrew2]

This must be the longest that DFS have gone without holding a sale?

 

[ioweddie]

Dying With Dignity



I have already informed my family that I will not be able to afford an expensive nursing home, which would allow me to die poor and very old.



I have therefore moved to Costa Rica so that I can spend my final years enjoying life, and dying with Dignity!



Oh, by the way, Dignity said to say hello!

 

[anglaslt]

This must be the longest that DFS have gone without holding a sale?

You'll be pleased to know it's back on, but hurry, it'll soon be over

DFS sale

 

[m80]

You'll be pleased to know it's back on, but hurry, it'll soon be over

DFS sale

Shouldn't that read "DFS Sale Ltd"?