Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics please)

[MissyD]

its weird, how when you see it as a cartoon, its funny, but when you see a real pic, you think I bet he wasn't impressed

 

[Deleted member 37751]

A Viz classic:

 

[baxlin]

its weird, how when you see it as a cartoon, its funny, but when you see a real pic, you think I bet he wasn't impressed

Military humour. Nothing like it. I’m sure the favour will have been returned, most likely “with bells on”.

 

[Deleted member 65149]

its weird, how when you see it as a cartoon, its funny, but when you see a real pic, you think I bet he wasn't impressed

I don’t think it was real. It looks to me like It’s been Photoshopped.

 

[Gollom]

Military humour. Nothing like it. I’m sure the favour will have been returned, most likely “with bells on”.

Yup, military humour can really be on the edge and is part of everyday life in the forces. Taken and given really well - gallows humour is a good description. Not sure I could even type some of the stuff that went on!

 

[moonloops]

I just bought a cheap demolition crane.

I had to really, it was at a knockdown price.

 

[baxlin]

Yup, military humour can really be on the edge and is part of everyday life in the forces. Taken and given really well - gallows humour is a good description. Not sure I could even type some of the stuff that went on!

Gallows, that’s the word I was searching for when I wrote military, as, similarly I wasn’t sure I could use the most appropriate description of the humour. Thanks!

 

[Flyinspanner]

Reminds me of reading “Don’t Cry For Me Sargeant Major”

At night, in battle, troops advancing on the enemyand walk into a minefield, BOOM - in the dark someone screaming they’ve lost their legs.

another voice says “no you haven’t they’re over here”

(gallows humour)

 

[D-18]

 

[Swotty]

I think this is a joke ... then again, perhaps not.

 

[moonloops]

My boss asked me to look in our stationery cupboard and find out how many of our pencils needed sharpening...

I didn't see the point, to be honest.

 

[markjay]

I got a second job at the local funeral house, I collect the ashes after cremation.



It’s a nice little urner.

 

[Deleted member 37751]

For Sale - Dead Budgie.

Not going cheep.

 

[Peter103]

 

[markjay]

(C) Private Eye

 

[D-18]

 

[Swotty]

Took the wife out for dinner yesterday.

As the meal arrived, I went to tuck in but she tut-tutted and said I should say a prayer like I always do at home.

No need to, I replied ... they know how to cook here.

 

[Tonygw]

The Wife came home yesterday in tears and asked if I would console her..
So I hit her around the head with my X box...

 

[moonloops]

I've quit training to be a pilot. I realised the job had too many ups and downs.

 

[D-18]