Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics please)

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[flying haggis]

Apparently Vladamir Putin is possibly asthmatic.

Henceforth he is to be known as Vlad the inhaler

 

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[ToeKnee]

 

[ioweddie]

​

 

[Deleted member 37751]

I remember when I was a lad, you went to a newsagent with £1 and left with 2 bags of crisps, a chocolate bar and a magazine.


Nowadays, CCTV everywhere.

 

[MD5]

I was buying the wife some underwear, I asked the shop assistant;
“Are these knickers satin?"
"No” she said, “They’re brand new...”

 

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[Williamwoo]

So, we'll finally be out of lockdown next week, although to be honest I knew it would end in tiers.

 

[Nicebutdim]

There are some winners in this pandemic

The people who make hand gel are rubbing their hands together.

 

[D-18]

 

[Williamwoo]

 

[MikeInWimbledon]

Sadly, I have to report that the inventor of the Autocorrect has died.


Restaurant in Peace

 

[Swotty]

Sadly, I have to report that the inventor of the Autocorrect has died.


Restaurant in Peace

His funfair will be hello on sundial.

 

[ChrisEdu]

If I sit on a small orange, does it become a satsuma?

 

[ioweddie]

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[Nicebutdim]

A rather unforunate and misleading hashtag