Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics please)

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As a friend/co-worker said many years ago, "I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman - but by God I've woken up with some dogs!". RIP Tony Diamond!
 
Attention: Vaccination recipients. This happened yesterday and is important information for our age group (over 65).


A friend had his 2nd dose of the vaccine at the vaccination center, after which
he began to have blurred vision on his way home.

When he got home, he called the vaccination center for advice and to ask if he
should go see a doctor or be hospitalized.

He was told NOT to go to a doctor or a hospital, but just return to the
vaccination center immediately and pick up his glasses.
 

DSM10000's recent post reminded me of this:-​


The Pig got up & slowly walked away

One night in late October,
When I was far from sober,
Returning with my load with manly pride,
My feet began to stutter,
So I lay down in the gutter,
And a pig came near and lay down by my side;
A lady passing by was heard to say:
"You can tell a man who boozes,
By the company he chooses,"
With that the pig got up and slowly walked away.
 
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No, 7 would have been difficult in my street days, plastic bottles hadn't arrived, but an old tin can usually sufficed, until a neighbour hollered at you for the noisy can. Good times.
 
I haven't been well lately, I've got a rash on my testicles,
So I went to my doctor's, she took hold of them,
Afte a couple of minutes she said, "you really must stop masturbating,"
I said why?
She said "because I'm trying to examine you"
 

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