Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics please)

[moonloops]

Now that tourism is coming back, I've created a handy guide for days out in the North East.

I've called it The Yorkshire Tripper, quite a catchy title I think.

 

[MissyD]

A truck loaded with Vick’s VapoRub overturned on the motorway.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.

 

[D-18]

 

[ChrisEdu]

What do zebras use to the cross the road, if humans use a zebra crossing?

 

[flying haggis]

 

[Deleted member 65149]

View attachment 111488

The old (and not so old) ones are the best:

View attachment 111127

 

[Deleted member 65149]

A true story from exactly 7 years ago:

Watching 15 to 1 on Channel 4. Unfortunate faux pas from Sandi Toksvig after a coloured lady lost her second life and was plunged into darkness. Sandi said to the next contestant in the line:"Don't be put off by the black bit next to you"!

 

[moonloops]

I watched a builder complete a freestanding wall the other day. I said you look like you are coping well.

 

[moonloops]

Apparently, I have a leak in my gearbox. It's the last time I use a welsh mechanic.

 

[Williamwoo]

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail, but apparently you're not supposed to end a sentence with a proposition.

 

[Williamwoo]

A man is at the funeral of an old friend. He tentatively approaches the deceased’s wife and asks whether he can say a word. The widow nods. The man clears his throat and says, “Plethora.” The widow smiles appreciatively. “Thank you,” she says. “That means a lot.”

 

[Swotty]

Meanwhile, just ahead of the next COVID press conference ..........

 

[NJSS]

 

[Swotty]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[D-18]

 

[bob6600]

 

[ChrisEdu]

I bought a cardboard Basil Brush. Now, I'm living with a fox, living with a cardboard fox!

 

[Swotty]

 

[flying haggis]