Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics please)

[Swotty]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[bob6600]

 

[Chrishazle]

Does this mean Macron has a new career??

 

[Swotty]

Does this mean Macron has a new career??

We can but hope!

 

[DSM10000]

 

[DSM10000]

 

[DSM10000]

 

[Flyinspanner]

Before my surgery, the anaesthetist gave me a choice: she could knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was a ether/oar situation.

 

[flying haggis]

 

[Swotty]

 

[markjay]

 

[DSM10000]

 

[DSM10000]

 

[DSM10000]

 

[bob6600]

 

[Swotty]

 

[ioweddie]

The best years to be born in the history of Earth & we got to experience it all. Thank God for all the times, the adventures, wars won, technology developed. Generations after future generations will never experience what we did. What a generation we turned out to be.

To Those of Us Born 1935 - 1955: At the end of this email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno. If you don't read anything else, Please read what he said. ~~~~~~~~~ TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930’s, 40’s, and 50’s !! First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank - While they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then, after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs Covered with bright colored Lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets, And, when we rode our bikes, We had baseball caps, Not helmets, on our heads. As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.. Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter, and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And we weren't overweight. WHY? Because we were always outside playing...that's why! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day .. . And, we were OKAY. We would spend hours building Our go-carts out of scrapsand then ride them down the hill, Only to find out that we forgot about brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned To Solve the problem. We did not Have Play Stations, Nintendo and X-boxes. There were No video games, No 150 channels on cable, No video movies Or DVDs, No surround-sound or CDs, No cell phones, No personal computers, No Internet and No chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS And we went Outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, Broke bones and Lost teeth, And there were No lawsuits From those accidents. We would get Spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping-pong paddles, or just a bare hand, And no one would call child services to report abuse. We ate worms, And mud pies Made from dirt, And The worms did Not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, 22 rifles for our 12th, rode horses, made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and -although we were Told it would happen- we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes Or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just Walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts And not everyone Made the team. Those who didn't Had to learn To deal with Disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent Bailing us out If we broke the law was unheard of ... They actually sided with the law! These generations have Produced some of the best risk-takers, Problem solvers, and Inventors ever. The past 60 to 85 years Have seen an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, Failure, success and responsibility, and we learned How to deal with it all. If YOU are One of those born Between 1925-1955, CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good. While you are at it, forward it to your kids, so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ? ~~~~~~~ The quote of the month by Jay Leno: "With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"​

 

[Deleted member 159894]

The best years to be born in the history of Earth & we got to experience it all. Thank God for all the times, the adventures, wars won, technology developed. Generations after future generations will never experience what we did. What a generation we turned out to be.

To Those of Us Born 1935 - 1955: At the end of this email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno. If you don't read anything else, Please read what he said. ~~~~~~~~~ TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930’s, 40’s, and 50’s !! First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank - While they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then, after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs Covered with bright colored Lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets, And, when we rode our bikes, We had baseball caps, Not helmets, on our heads. As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.. Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter, and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And we weren't overweight. WHY? Because we were always outside playing...that's why! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day .. . And, we were OKAY. We would spend hours building Our go-carts out of scrapsand then ride them down the hill, Only to find out that we forgot about brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned To Solve the problem. We did not Have Play Stations, Nintendo and X-boxes. There were No video games, No 150 channels on cable, No video movies Or DVDs, No surround-sound or CDs, No cell phones, No personal computers, No Internet and No chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS And we went Outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, Broke bones and Lost teeth, And there were No lawsuits From those accidents. We would get Spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping-pong paddles, or just a bare hand, And no one would call child services to report abuse. We ate worms, And mud pies Made from dirt, And The worms did Not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, 22 rifles for our 12th, rode horses, made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and -although we were Told it would happen- we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes Or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just Walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts And not everyone Made the team. Those who didn't Had to learn To deal with Disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent Bailing us out If we broke the law was unheard of ... They actually sided with the law! These generations have Produced some of the best risk-takers, Problem solvers, and Inventors ever. The past 60 to 85 years Have seen an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, Failure, success and responsibility, and we learned How to deal with it all. If YOU are One of those born Between 1925-1955, CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good. While you are at it, forward it to your kids, so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ? ~~~~~~~ The quote of the month by Jay Leno: "With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"​

Boring

 

[Swotty]

Boring

Golden.