facts about our countryside, that may help others

[brucemillar]

Folks

I live the Countryside. This is good as my wife & kids also live there.

Over the past few months on my long dog walks, I have noticed that certain sheep (I now know these to be "men sheep") are wearing what is best described as a back pack that fit's on the front. A sort of leather harness with a box on the sheepies back and one on its front.

I am now told (by a farmer) that these are "marker packs" that dye the rear end of any lady sheep when the man sheep has his wicked way. BY use of different coloured dyes (the sheep does not choose the colours) the farmer can tell which girls are most likely to be lambing during which month. This to me is amazing. I feel knowlegeable in a whole new way.


Any other interesting country facts that we need to share.

 

[nb_racing]

Everyday is a school day!

Roads in the country side don't get gritted.

Everyone drink drives. I know one case of a copper popping into a local (not near me) downing 4 pints and carrying on his merry way. He was on duty so couldn't stay longer.

Everyone has a shot gun.

 

[Giantvanman]

Any other interesting country facts that we need to share.

Give a knowing smile to any person with paint on the back of their jacket.

 

[boxbrownie]

And did you know, them thar sheeps are covered in wool.....pull it off and it grows back, sell it and people make clothes from the stuff, magic eh?

Country folk eh.....not so f*****g daft after all!

 

[Minz]

by use of different coloured dyes (the sheep does not choose the colours) the farmer can tell which girls are most likely to be lambing during which month.

Lol

 

[automaniaman]

Don't go out when there's a full moon...

 

[Giantvanman]

Give a knowing smile to any person with paint on the front of their jacket.

 

[Ted]

Your next door neighbour keeps popping round with a few rabbits or a brace of pheasant.

 

[Minz]

Using the word 'fresh' to describe the aroma of sh1t in the air.

 

[brucemillar]

Why do my neighbours all wear Velcro Trousers?

 

[Minz]

Why do my neighbours all wear Velcro Trousers?

Because they haven't mastered buttons or zips yet?

 

[WDB124066]

Cowsh1t sticks like sh1t to the underside and lower sides of your car.

Agricultural equipment have auto grease facilities that spray grease all over the road so it can flick up and "blend" with the other sh1t mentioned before.

Stock trucks should not be followed too closely in a convertible.

Bobby calves don't like being separated from Mum and make noises accordingly even as they are being carried to the waiting truck.

Stay away from Arial top dressing, it rots the cars.

Silage smells bad.

Don't go swimming in the local river.

DON'T ride your push bike on the lanes during haymaking season.

The lights in the paddock are not UFO's they are the local contractors working around the clock when the grass is in season.

Always find a way to get into the farmer's wife's kitchen at about 10:30 am just when it is scone time.

The farm cat will have the sheep dogs well under control - but not the magpies.

Ladies of the night do it by day in the hayshed.

Don't let your daughter near the wool shed when the shearers are in town.

Try not to hang around once the shearing is in it's last shearing day, any tricky ones will have their throat cut right in front of you for the spit later in the afternoon.

NEVER give a Farmer a chainsaw or a spray pack - watch out for spray drift.

Don't tell a farmer you'd be interested in half a cattle beast because that's exactly what you'll get.

Always have a big freezer handy.

NEVER "lend" a Farmer anything, rather, ALWAYS offer to pop over and do it yourself with your own tools.

Same goes for cars, here's why, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMafuYWEuEU

If you live near a dairy farm buy a generator, one day they will love you for it.



And for the bits I've missed here is an instructional video....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeUzrsjwF4I

 

[Reggie-rock]

I have lived in the countryside for the past 12 years and the most surprising thing as far as I am concerned is that you like the smell of sh1t when it comes to muck spreading.
I can only afford an older Mercedes as house prices are higher in the countryside but it's worth the sacrifice (I think) but miss my double plus an extra single garage we had with our last house in the outskirts of Northampton.

 

[WDB124066]

See if you can get a working bee together, out houses and farm implement sheds can often be put up in a week, make good builders do many farmers - for garages and things that is. Just don't let them see all your tools though.

 

[ringway]

Everyone drink drives. I know one case of a copper popping into a local (not near me) downing 4 pints and carrying on his merry way. He was on duty so couldn't stay longer.

Bet he's on Fleece Camera Action.

 

[IanA2]

Your next door neighbour keeps popping round with a few rabbits or a brace of pheasant.

Came home one day to find a brace of pheasant on the door handle. Yummy.

 

[SportsCoupeRich]

I always carry a hip-flask when walking the dogs in winter. You meet other hen-pecked men also trying to stay out of the house for fear of being shouted at.

Following a few hip flask exchanges over the course of many weeks, said other men and you decide that it should be a weekly Sunday lunch pint with dogs as the alibi.

Now I just need to convince the local to serve roast potatoes on the bar as free snacks (like my father's local back in the 80's) and i probably can stay out all day claiming the beagle legged it again.

 

[Ted]

Next door doesn't ask you to look after his ferrets and chickens while he's on holiday.
Don't mind the chickens but ferrets are FAST and nippy.

 

[ringway]

Don't mind the chickens but ferrets are FAST and nippy.

Takes me back to this clip.


[YOUTUBE]G9xHEj3Gk4Q[/YOUTUBE]

 

[219]

Why do my neighbours all wear Velcro Trousers?

ZZ Top wrote a song about that