How do you shower?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Steve_Perry, Jul 5, 2002.

  1. Steve_Perry

    Steve_Perry Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Location:
    Wales, U.K.
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    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN


    Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry basket according to
    lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along the way
    cover any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.

    Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly. Complain and
    whine about getting fat. Get in shower.

    Look for facecloth, armcloth, loin cloth, long loofah, wide Loofah and
    pumice stone.

    Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.

    Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.

    Condition hair with cucumber and lamphrey conditioner with enhanced natural
    crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

    Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that it's
    all come off.

    Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses Pressure and turns
    red hot.

    Turn off shower.

    Clean all wet shower surfaces. Spray mould spots with flash bathroom spray.

    Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small African country.

    Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

    Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack with nails or tweezers
    if found.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If husband

    seen, cover any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend half an hour
    getting dressed.




    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN


    Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in pile on floor.

    Walk naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her making "Woohoo"
    sound.

    Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you have pecs
    (no).

    Admire size of knob in mirror, scratch privates and smell fingers for one
    last whiff.

    Get in shower.

    Don't bother to look for wash cloth - don't use one.

    Wash face.

    Wash armpits.

    Laugh at how loud farts sound in the shower.

    Wash privates and the surrounding area.

    Wash bum, leaving hair on soap.

    Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner.

    Make shampoo Mohawk.

    Pull back curtain to see self in mirror.

    Pee (in shower)

    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain outside bath for whole
    shower time.

    Partially dry off.

    Look at self in mirror again, flex muscles and admire size of knob (again)

    Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor.

    Leave bathroom light and fan on.

    Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel,
    grab knob, go "Yeah baby" and thrust pelvis at her.

    Put on yesterday's clothes.

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Hope you enjoy, made me chuckle.

    S.
     
  2. Maff

    Maff Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    LOL! &nbsp;<img src="http://www.mbclub.co.uk/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'>

    1st one sounds about right too me. Always wondered what she got upto!
     
  3. Dave Elcome

    Dave Elcome Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Maidstone, Kent.
    Car:
    300TE
    Nice one Steve..........and how true.

    Maff.

    Fiesta?<img src="http://www.mbclub.co.uk/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt='???'> whats that for, driving to the garages to get in the Mercs?? LOL <img src="http://www.mbclub.co.uk/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'>
     
  4. Maff

    Maff Hardcore MB Enthusiast

    Messages:
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    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2002
    Location:
    Henley-on-Thames
    <!--QuoteBegin--Dave Elcome+July 05 2002,23<img src="http://www.mbclub.co.uk/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':0'></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Dave Elcome @ July 05 2002,23<img src="http://www.mbclub.co.uk/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':0'>1)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Maff.

    Fiesta?<img src="http://www.mbclub.co.uk/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt='???'> whats that for, driving to the garages to get in the Mercs?? LOL <img src="http://www.mbclub.co.uk/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'></td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'>
    LOL!

    It's for the Girlfriend - she arrives back to the UK next week after university in Budapest. Just an excuse so she doesn't have to drive my car!

    Actualy, I'm just off to get her this evening. Eurotunnel leaves at 2am for a 1000mile each way trip in the M-Class. Should be able to do it in 15 hours! &nbsp;<img src="http://www.mbclub.co.uk/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':('> &nbsp; <img src="http://www.mbclub.co.uk/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':('> &nbsp; <img src="http://www.mbclub.co.uk/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':('>
     
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