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So sad for Mrs Red.
Brother in law is of similar age to you and on the dating websites with mixed results o_O
Your previous business were in stone products & associated tools. What direction are you heading in now?
I'll worry about what I'll be doing if it sells. If it goes it will be enough that I'll not need to work again so I may even consider moving abroad.
 
You did, I remember it well.

Mrs Red lost mental capacity at the end of last year, she now has 24 hour care and for a reasonable amount of the time doesn't know who I am. We're currently trying to find somewhere for her to live (her own place not a care home - she's 49) which is being greatly complicated by the fact I'm her attourney.

Business is up for sale, fingers crossed that goes and then I'm basically starting again, with cash and no baggage. Which is quite exciting if I'm honest.

Right now I'm on a steep learning curve on Match.com, Bumble and Hinge......that really needs a thread in it's own right, it's fun at 52 believe me!
So your wife doesn’t know what day of the week it is and you’re on hook-up sites chasing skirt??

Was everything fine with the 2 of you before she got ill??
 
So your wife doesn’t know what day of the week it is and you’re on hook-up sites chasing skirt??

Was everything fine with the 2 of you before she got ill??

Wind you neck in. I don’t know the full circumstances but I do know Mrs Red has been unwell for many years.
 
Wind you neck in. I don’t know the full circumstances but I do know Mrs Red has been unwell for many years.
I merely asked a question which wasn’t meant to offend.

So you ‘wind your neck in’ because like you said, you don’t know the full details.
 
Darrell mate, the x type is staying put, France full time is out, a barge in Burnley is the new option.
 
Red, crack on, only here once. Such a shame but life goes on. Only you can decide your future. Best of luck.
 
What’s up with France?
Did the maths. Already got a static for 5 months in France, get a barge 50k for 4 months, March April, October November, 3 months rented in Spain, December January February. No brainer really, without all the hassle.
 
83 in two weeks time. Spent last night in A & E with my wife and her dislocated shoulder. Not an experience that either of us want to repeat. But hey ho, life goes on.
I hope she feels better soon!
 
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So your wife doesn’t know what day of the week it is and you’re on hook-up sites chasing skirt??

Was everything fine with the 2 of you before she got ill??
She's been deteriorating for years and has had some sort of daily care for the last 4 years.
I merely asked a question which wasn’t meant to offend.

So you ‘wind your neck in’ because like you said, you don’t know the full details.
Piff has met her, albeit breifly.

I'm moving on with life after spending the last 4 years (of 14) being verbally abused by someone who's lost mental capacity which in December was deemed to have degraded to a degree to have her sectioned for her own safety. It's something I hope no one on this forum ever has to deal with, most people can't deal with it. Even medical professionals struggle to deal with it.

So yeah, after 14 years of dealing with someone 24 hours a day that given the opportunity would now stab me, I'm getting the chance to start life again.
 
She's been deteriorating for years and has had some sort of daily care for the last 4 years.

Piff has met her, albeit breifly.

I'm moving on with life after spending the last 4 years (of 14) being verbally abused by someone who's lost mental capacity which in December was deemed to have degraded to a degree to have her sectioned for her own safety. It's something I hope no one on this forum ever has to deal with, most people can't deal with it. Even medical professionals struggle to deal with it.

So yeah, after 14 years of dealing with someone 24 hours a day that given the opportunity would now stab me, I'm getting the chance to start life again.
Life can be cruel.

Any children??
 
Life can be cruel.

Any children??
She has a daughter (24) who sees me as Dad and we have a great relationship and will continue to do so. In fact given the shit storm she grew up in I'm proud that she's turned out to be such a well adjusted human being,

None of my wife's family were able to cope with her so I was pretty much left to deal with her alone until it reached a point where we could get authorities involved.

It's sad that health issues of this nature, whilst increasingly becoming more common, are competely uncatered for. We used to have to get the police out to calm her down repeatedly until Social Services stepped up. But ultimately we had to wait until she physically assaulted me and then my 85 year old mother before they were legally required to step in.

The assumption is that you simply deal with this at home. There genuinely is no facility to deal with it. So I'm now selling the house and my business to get her homed somewhere so I can start life again.
 
Sounds like a really tough time Red C220! Good luck for the future mate.
It's strange if I'm honest. When you're in it and living it you just get on with it without question. Sure you have to odd bad day or even week where you struggle. But when you look back you seriously wonder "how the hell did I deal with that and remain sane". People outside of the situation look at me and wonder what I'm still doing there and how the hell I deal with it.

You have to remember it's not a conscious decision to arrive at this position, it gradually creeps up on you over time and you adapt to it and create your own coping mechanisms unconciously.

I can tell you though the exact time, day and date when I decided that I was done, the moment I knew if I didn't start organising a way to undo everything and get her set up somewhere with the right care package that this would eventually kill me. It was January this year and remarkably liberating.
 
I merely asked a question which wasn’t meant to offend.

So you ‘wind your neck in’ because like you said, you don’t know the full details.
I think it was the way you asked your question with a lot of assumption and accusation kind of tones “So your wife doesn’t know what day of the week it is and you’re on hook-up sites chasing skirt??”

I can understand someone thinking that way without knowing the full details, but at the same time I’ve faced a very similar situation recently and it’s like the person you once knew is totally gone no matter what you do to try and help. It’s takes a huge toll on your life and wellbeing and at some point you have to look to move forward. It’s a situation that will forever be in your mind until your dying day and is excruciatingly hard to deal with. Red is fortunate that he is able to see light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not there yet. Reading what he said stunned me by some of the similarities. Let’s all just be kind and understanding to one another. It takes a lot to share something so personal.
 

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