Illness and Accidents. Hypochondriacs Corner.

Discussion in 'OT (OFF Topic) Forums' started by ringway, Dec 8, 2016.

  1. ringway

    ringway MB Club Veteran

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    Throughout life, there are times when we are injured or fall ill.

    Although I have been relatively healthy (head and spine aside) I have come some almighty croppers in my time.

    The first one, at around 4-5 years old, involved me riding my tricycle into the oncoming path of a girl who was standing on a swing in the park and travelling at full pelt.
    My forehead and the base of the swing met and I was knocked clean unconscious.

    I once fell through a void where a plank had been removed in an adventure playground when I was around 14 years old.
    The opening still had some of the nails in place and I hung and swung, with a nail penetrating my upper arm.
    I struggled to free myself and hit the planked deck below, landing on my bottom! That thump really did hurt.
    However, it wasn't until checking the damage to my coat on the way home that I realised there was a gaping wound in my arm requiring around 40 stitches!
    I still have the scar to show for that.

    I know of 4-5 people who have partially or fully cut off a finger or thumb.

    I have had too many accidents to mention in this opening gambit, but I would be interested to find out if anyone else is as hapless as me.
     
  2. TheFoX

    TheFoX Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    My mate Tim and I, when we were about 11, made a bike for my 8-year-old brother consisting of a racing frame, a standard racing wheel on the back and a kiddy solid wheel on the front, making it look like a Penny Farthing in reverse.

    Anyway, he rode this bike to the local Rec where he hit a small kerb causing the bike to end up, and he hit his head on the tarmac. Got him back home and smeared butter on his cut head and when my mother returned back from the shops told him not to be ungrateful and to get back on the bike and try again.

    I mean, the bike was a death trap and felt like you were riding downhill all the time.

    Hillarious.
     
  3. Tim203

    Tim203 Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    I was just the same as a child. If someone told you it was hot, touch it to see. I pulled a pan of hot water from the stove over my arm as a toddler but despite being badly burned didn't get scarred,( can't remember that one TG). As mentioned before I cast a fishing plug into my head at around 6 years. ( even the doc couldn't help chuckling getting it out) Around 9 years old my Dad thought it was a good idea (free ride more like) to put me on a tethered donkey in France which whilst calm at the time turned into a buckaroo once lowered onto it. 10 years old.Head down in the pouring rain cycled into the back of a stationary Moggie 1000. Think I was knocked out as I only remember waking up at home. Few years later racing a friend down a hill foot slipped of pedal launching me over the bars .2" scar on my hip as I skidded down the road on my side. Didn't tell Mum as I was scared of a boll@cking but fessed up when she found my blood stained clothes a few days later. By then too late for stitches, hurt for weeks and took ages to heal. Home made go- cart incident .. Recipe for pain= take old Suffolk punch ( cylinder cutter between wheels), bolt Hillman Imp wheels to the side, fix plank and traditional go cart foot steer wheels on front ( with rope). Baler twine over shoulder for hand throttle. Remove shearing blade from cylinder for added safety and we're off! Picture a big wheeled dragster looking go-cart going down the bank from one level of lawn to the next, collapsing in the middle, digging into mothers prized lawn whilst I was trapped, spark plug scarring my back giving me a belt at the same time as my mother was screaming at me. ( still got that scar too. With 16 I came off my moped in the snow sliding head on towards an oncoming princess taxi in a walled lane.On his side was a fire hydrant concrete sign that I managed to get a hand to and swung into the wall as he went past without stopping ( probably pi$$ed). 19- lying under a mates Alfa Sud sealing a new exhaust. It was backed into ramps.Took it out of gear to start it and the handbrake didn't hold it. It rolled me onto my side as it started creeping down the ramps . The bruised ribs were aggravated by my mate jumping in to step on the brakes! About 21- Got run over by a Renault 30 ( not my fault) in Calais on a pedestrian crossing 4 lane one way street. Got away with a bruise on my leg. 16 to 30 - too many motoring ( bikes too) atrocities to count ( rolled 3 cars) 50. Last month dislocated my shoulder practicing ground fighting at Karate whilst pushing someone off me. Shoulder off mat at an angle, locked out arms,he leant on me again, crunch, popped out sideways but the muscles pulled it back in again. Still hurts now and waiting for ultrasound! Loads more but don't want to bore you all.
     
  4. brucemillar

    brucemillar MB Club Veteran

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    As a child growing in Kilmarnock on the West Cost of Scotland, I jumped off the cross spar of a decorative cast iron Victorian Lampost (it's still there). This was a lampost that was/is set into some equally decorative cast iron fencing - with fleur de lys spikes on each pole.

    My trousers caught on the spar that I was standing on. At launch I was rotated through a perfect arch which was interrupted when my forehead came into contact with the spiked railings.

    I woke up in the local infirmary, with my mother who was not best pleased that I had "ruined a perfectly good pair of trousers".

    I still carry the scar of my skull fracture to this day. It runs from the bridge of my nose to above my hairline.

    Over the years I have used this scar to my advantage and there are ladies out there who will testify to their night of passion with a war veteran, spy, cage fighter, not allowed to talk about it, bloke.

    The lamp post is now a sort of pilgrimage journey each time I return to Scotland. It should have it's very own plaque and maybe even somebody could hang some torn trouser material there once a year.
     
  5. whitenemesis

    whitenemesis MB Club Veteran

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    "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!"
     
  6. gr1nch

    gr1nch Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    A few.

    Worst was on my racing bike as 17 yr old hit head-on by a car who came on my side of the road. Landed on the back of my head and back, miraculously alive and no bones broken, but right leg badly twisted/shocked which the metal bumper hit (leg had major issues years later). Hit and run driver, drunk, no insurance. His wife shopped him in, in the end.

    A few other minor ones, all as a kid, some by being careless, none as an adult thankfully.
     
  7. developer

    developer MB Club Veteran

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    A guy I knew, when we were yoofs, took an overly long backwards look at a pretty girl and ran his DT175 into a skip, breaking both his legs :crazy:.
     
  8. Yugguy

    Yugguy Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    I have a small bald spot on the back of my head where I rear-nutted the concrete when I was four.

    I used to play in the effluent stream from Courtalds when I was a kid. But it hasn't affected me. Gimme Six!
     
  9. renault12ts

    renault12ts MB Club Veteran

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    True...my 17 year old friend in the same circumstances...died.
     
  10. A250 Bennyboy

    A250 Bennyboy Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    As a kid I fell out of a tree whilst conkering and scared my head, broke my collar bone falling off a skate board, broke most of my fingers worst time was when we made a go-kart from a Silver Cross pram, I went for the brake and stuck my fingers in the spokes braking two fingers and taking the skin off all the others, but the most painful thing I did was jumping from my bedroom window and braking both my heels, that was worse than all the rest of the things I did growing up

    As an adult you really don't want to know lol
    Cheers Bren
     
  11. brucemillar

    brucemillar MB Club Veteran

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    I broke two of my fingers when my mate came home early, got all upset and kicked his wife in the crotch.
     
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  12. DrFeelgood

    DrFeelgood MB Club Veteran

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    Other than a couple of broken bones and teeth I have come through relatively unscathed when you consider how clumsy and susceptible I am.
     
  13. Hectors Dad

    Hectors Dad Active Member

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    I am a complete klutz and 17 years of martial arts and some time in the armed forces didn't help but my worst was being in the back seat of a Ford Escorts MK1 Mexico when the driver hit a telegraph pole. I shot through the gap between the front seats and hot the dashboard with my forehead, the momentum pushed my nose through the roof of my mouth fracturing my eye sockets and breaking my top jaw. Several months later I was as good as new after some fairly miraculous surgery.
     
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  14. Ted

    Ted MB Club Veteran

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    I was folding down an envelope once and got a cut from the razor sharp edge of the paper.
    It didn't half hurt a bit.
     
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  15. AMGeed

    AMGeed MB Club Veteran

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    Apparently I managed to grab hold of one fully lit bar of an electric fire when I was 2 yrs old. Luckily I don't remember it, nor have I suffered any ill effects.

    Smashed a couple of teeth scrumping apples, when someone threw a chair leg into the tree and I looked up just as it fell out. Scrumping was a dangerous occupation for an 8 year old.
     
  16. moonloops

    moonloops MB Club Veteran

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    I stubbed my toe once.
     
  17. TheFoX

    TheFoX Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Which one?
     
  18. markjay

    markjay MB Club Veteran

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    Had a few, but the one that is pertinent to this forum is a chipped front tooth from trying to adjust the float on a 45 DCOE Webber carburettor. My hands were not free and using my teeth seemed like a good idea at the time.
     
  19. Ted

    Ted MB Club Veteran

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    You win.
     
  20. moonloops

    moonloops MB Club Veteran

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    The left one
     

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