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BaldGuy

MB Enthusiast
Joined
Jun 1, 2002
Messages
4,414
Location
Berkshire, London & Devon
Car
No longer a Benz...
Speeding Ticket

While I was "flying" down the road yesterday (i.e., 10 mph
over the limit).
I passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the
other side
laying in wait.

The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's the
hurry?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The cop was amazed and stammered , "A what? A rectum stretcher?
And just
what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then
I work my way up to
two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in work
side to
side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but
surely stretch, until it's about 6 foot wide."

And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park
him behind a
bridge..."

Traffic ticket: £95.00
Court costs: £450.00
The look on the cop's face: Priceless




:D :D :D :D :D
 
Yea cheers,
And jackanory is a factual programme!:rolleyes:
 
Nice, one. Heard a cruder version years ago and have though of realying on here b4, but was never brave enough!
 
luv it! got any more:D
 

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