Lets hear your most embarrasing break up stories

[st4]

Right, I will kick off....

Was seeing this girl up in Aberdeen, 150 miles or so away. Beeing going well, she said come up for the weekend, and the 3hour drive gave me plenty of time to think about what a great time I was to be having...

Well...we got there, she said, meet me at the pub. All her mates were there....she dumped me with them all being in earshot and quietly watching. We had a quick chat, and I asked her, why did you not tell me over the phone/text you met someone else, rather than save the drive up here, her reply, oh, I wanted to tell you face to face, sorry for wasting your time, fair enough I said, its not just my time, its the money, 300mile round trip costs a fair bit in fuel....sorry she said, I am sorry, so I said, you couldn't give us twenty quid for the petrol...

Answer (politely worded for the forum) Feck off now!!!

I duly did, shoved on the heated seats for some comfort, bought a takeaway and drove off.

 

[WOODYTHEWISE]

My wife may read this...so. I have never even kissed another woman apart from my mother. My wife is the only woman I have been out with.

 

[markjay]

My wife may read this...so. I have never even kissed another woman apart from my mother. My wife is the only woman I have been out with.

Same here

 

[markjay]

OK, here's one anyway....

When I was in my twenties, a close friend (who just got married at the time) told me that he can arrange a blind date with the dentist's assistance - a young lady, he said, of great beauty and immense wisdom.

My friend was quite the lady's man, so trusting his judgement without hesitation I accepted.

The blind date was arranged at a local restaurant. I arrived early, and at the scheduled time, a rather unsightly girl came to my table and introduced herself... in the hour that followed I also discovered that we had very few topics of conversation outside dentistry, of which I know very little indeed.

Needless to say I did the honourable thing and spent the hour with here engaging in polite conversation, then paid for the meal and drove her home. I did not call her again and in those days ladies did not call men. So that was the end of it.

The following morning I called my friend and asked him what was he thinking about. He may not have had a chance to get to know her very well while at the dentist, but even so I would have thought some things were obvious... to which he replied: Oh no, she is not my dentist's assistant... I have never met her before. She is my auntie's dentist's assistant, and my auntie said she possessed great beauty and immense wisdom...

 

[WOODYTHEWISE]

Same here

Who did you kiss, my wife or my mother?

 

[Bosco]

Both.

 

[KillerHERTZ]

bought a takeaway and drove off.

Wasnt it cold once you drove the 150 mile home?

 

[Rayny]

Steve,
I cannot imagine anybody admitting to a better break-up

 

[st4]

Wasnt it cold once you drove the 150 mile home?

Heated seats, climate control and some flatulence, job done

Edit, mis read, I ate it then and there.....

Worst thing was I had timed everything, and I mean everything for this weekend, the big man was eager and waiting and under exercised that week to prepare for what I had lined up. She lived where parking was tight, but I got the car in, I was rather hoping to be parking something else that night....

Everyone at work "How was your weekend"

My answer "err, about that, it didn't quite go to plan". Oh how they laughed at it all, its funny now but at the time, 6hour round trip for a takeaway and £40 on fuel unduly seemed a bit crap, but the shed drove nice.

Steve,
I cannot imagine anybody admitting to a better break-up

Ta, but theres got to be some corkers on here....

I'll tell the story about being dumped from the plummer, overhearing the "I love you call" when I was in the other room for another time...

Didn't matter, that "relationship" ran its course.

Only time getting dumped took me by surprise was getting chucked on valetines day, still, it saved me the cost of a present but I was look forward to feeding my face later on....

 

[JOB-BLACK-RAT]

It went a little like this:

"Dawn my Darling, you know I have been spending a lot of time with my friend Paul"

 

[renault12ts]

It went a little like this:

"Dawn my Darling, you know I have been spending a lot of time with my friend Paul"

To which she replies: " get out, and close the closet door behind you"!

 

[Satch]

Friend of mine is a dentist and went into work one morning to find one of his fellow tooth butchers looking rather glum. Broken up with wife, did not want to talk about it. Fair enough.

The story promptly creeps out via the female mafia in the area. Seems he had an interest in, errrrr, specialist waterproof clothing. Wife, who he believed to be away seeing mother in darkest Wales, returns home unexpectedly because she had been called to see a sick relative on last legs and stopped off en route. Complete with her mother.

Thus our man was discovered by wife and mother in law engaged in minority sports with female friend who also had an interest in said specialist waterproof clothing.

 

[developer]

Friend of mine is a dentist and went into work one morning to find one of his fellow tooth butchers looking rather glum. Broken up with wife, did not want to talk about it. Fair enough.

The story promptly creeps out via the female mafia in the area. Seems he had an interest in, errrrr, specialist waterproof clothing. Wife, who he believed to be away seeing mother in darkest Wales, returns home unexpectedly because she had been called to see a sick relative on last legs and stopped off en route. Complete with her mother.

Thus our man was discovered by wife with and mother in law engaged in minority sports with female friend who also had an interest in said specialist waterproof clothing.

Him p*ssed on, her p*ssed off, it seems......