Lexophile

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ioweddie

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"you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish" and "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."

A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location.

This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

... When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

... When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

... The batteries were given out free of charge.

... A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

... A will is a dead giveaway.

... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

... A boiled egg is hard to beat.

... When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

... Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old
was resisting a rest.

... Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?
He's all right now.

... A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

... When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully
recovered.

... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

... When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

... Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

And the cream of the twisted crop:

... Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
 
If a lorry carrying pens and paper comes to a stop is it stationery?
 
When sewage workers get buried, are they interred?
 
If the OP fell off the ferry, would he be insolent?
 
If two prams collide in France is it a Crèche?
 
Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels.
 
When musicians die , do they decompose ?
If you made a car from washing machine parts-you could take it for a spin
A man who stole batteries, got charged
What you can't see, can't harm you -said the man who died of Radiation poisoning
Roger Daley - a man always on the job
 
If you don't pay your exorcist do you get re-posessed :D
 
Breaking news: A man who drank battery acid has been charged.
 
Breaking news: A man who drank battery acid has been charged.


See post 12 :D


If you don't pay your exorcist do you get re-posessed :D


Duuno , but my mate used his house for devil worship it was said to be possessed by demons , but not anymore. Barclays re-possessed the house
 
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When a jump jockey dies, does he go over the Styx?
 
Not sure if it qualifies, but here goes:

What's Forrest Gump's password?

1forrest1
 
If I hit the vicar over the head with a bottle of Domestos, would I be charged with bleach of the priest?
 
Biplane is what a parachutist says when he jumps out.

A polygon is an empty parrot cage.

Ouvré le fenetre means Hoover the furniture in French.
 
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