Memories

[stwat]

A good mate of mine emailed me a picture of myself from the 90's when I was in my 20's. It reminded me just how happy and healthy I was back then. It made me sad. I am now fat and very unhealthy with many complications from my Diabetes which I have had since I was seven years old.

Oh Lord can I please roll the clock back?

The Lambretta was a 60's model I was stripping down and painting.

 

[kid-jensen]

Maybe you should buy a bike??

Get those endorphins flowing...

There will bw no charge for this consultancy.

 

[Deleted96908]

Oh Lord can I please roll the clock back?

The Lambretta was a 60's model I was stripping down and painting.

Never met you, never seen a recent photo of you, but your online persona appears to me at least, exactly as you look in that photo.

 

[trapperjohn]

What Patagonian says.

Interesting forum name BTW Patagonian.

 

[Deleted96908]

Interesting forum name BTW Patagonian.

Nothing exciting I'm afraid John. Just my love of Patagonia outdoor wear which I've worn non stop for 25 years and allows me to wear shorts all year round, whatever the weather. My whole family is addicted to it which makes birthdays and Christmas a cinch. Oh and of course, the place itself is pretty cool too.

Chris

 

[stwat]

Never met you, never seen a recent photo of you, but your online persona appears to me at least, exactly as you look in that photo.

What Patagonian says.

Thanks chaps, that's very much appreciated.

I like to think of myself as the same happy go lucky bloke I have always been, and on the whole I am. But sometimes sh!t just comes to a head, pressure wise. Mental health is something we all try to shy away from. Especially with men. Depression is a tricky subject to talk about. You always get the, 'cheer up, there's always somebody worse off than you'. Or 'Things will blow over and be fine' kind of comments. 'Your just a bit unhappy that's all, chin up'. Etc etc.
When real depression hits you, you can not simply shake it off and cheer up. The fact that there are people worse off than you in the world means nothing to you and does not help you one bit. Clinical depression is truly horrible. It's a very dark place to be. I utterly hate and fear it. But it's there. Always ready to rear it's ugly head.

I really am sorry to post this out on this forum and I certainly don't want to annoy or 'depress' anyone with my ramblings. I just find it helps to occasionally get this out of my system. Kind of clears my head a bit. So please forgive for posting this.

Stu

 

[The _Don]

Thanks chaps, that's very much appreciated. I like to think of myself as the same happy go lucky bloke I have always been, and on the whole I am. But sometimes sh!t just comes to a head, pressure wise. Mental health is something we all try to shy away from. Especially with men. Depression is a tricky subject to talk about. You always get the, 'cheer up, there's always somebody worse off than you'. Or 'Things will blow over and be fine' kind of comments. 'Your just a bit unhappy that's all, chin up'. Etc etc. When real depression hits you, you can not simply shake it off and cheer up. The fact that there are people worse off than you in the world means nothing to you and does not help you one bit. Clinical depression is truly horrible. It's a very dark place to be. I utterly hate and fear it. But it's there. Always ready to rear it's ugly head. I really am sorry to post this out on this forum and I certainly don't want to annoy or 'depress' anyone with my ramblings. I just find it helps to occasionally get this out of my system. Kind of clears my head a bit. So please forgive for posting this. Stu

I salute you sir, if ever you are down south and fancy a chat and a whisky give me a shout.

 

[brucemillar]

Stu

What a brave post. Well done you in having that courage. I can offer only my experience that works for me. If I try to focus on when I was desperately ill in hospital.. I now find that I do not recognise that person as me anymore. I know it is me and was me, but it is now like seeing somebody else (if that makes sense) I struggle mentally to come to terms with new body and the physical and mental changes that have come with that change. My poor family continue to support me, when at times it must hurt and upset them. A year ago I would never have foreseen any of this change. But now it is here. I am alive and the sun is out and that makes me smile. I have fabulous friends and now weigh the same as I did when I was fifteen years old (I have lost 5 stone in weight). I tell myself it must be good and I will continue to get better.

As above. If ever you end up in Kent. Give me shout. Kettle is always on and I can still drink Guinness.

 

[camerafodder]

which I've worn non stop for 25 years

 

[Charles Morgan]

Depression is utterly insidious, I have had minor episodes which I have been very fortunate to get through, many friends have had it far worse. I regard it as a long term condition to be managed like my asthma and my diabetes (I really feel for you on this).

It is very good of you to post this, you shouldn't be in the least bit sorry. A problem shared isn't a problem solved, but suffering on your own is a thorough misery.

Without the benefit of 200 years of medical science, I still find this advice in a letter from the noted wit Sydney Smith the most helpful to think of what to do and what not to do (whatever you think of the individual prescriptions!).

Dear Lady Georgiana,

Nobody has suffered more from low spirits than I have done—so I feel for you.

1st. Live as well as you dare.
2nd. Go into the shower-bath with a small quantity of water at a temperature low enough to give you a slight sensation of cold, 75° or 80°.
3rd. Amusing books.
4th. Short views of human life—not further than dinner or tea.
5th. Be as busy as you can.
6th. See as much as you can of those friends who respect and like you.
7th. And of those acquaintances who amuse you.
8th. Make no secret of low spirits to your friends, but talk of them freely—they are always worse for dignified concealment.
9th. Attend to the effects tea and coffee produce upon you.
10th. Compare your lot with that of other people.
11th. Don't expect too much from human life—a sorry business at the best.
12th. Avoid poetry, dramatic representations (except comedy), music, serious novels, melancholy sentimental people, and every thing likely to excite feeling or emotion not ending in active benevolence.
13th. Do good, and endeavour to please everybody of every degree.
14th. Be as much as you can in the open air without fatigue.
15th. Make the room where you commonly sit, gay and pleasant.
16th. Struggle by little and little against idleness.
17th. Don't be too severe upon yourself, or underrate yourself, but do yourself justice.
18th. Keep good blazing fires.
19th. Be firm and constant in the exercise of rational religion.
20th. Believe me, dear Georgiana, your devoted servant, Sydney Smith

To which I might add - remove all contact with the news. It is a procession of misery, let others worry about it!

 

[grober]

Sound advice in the main but I would differ from the Rev Sydney Smith on the music thing. I know lots of troubled folk who express themselves through music or find comfort in listening to it. He himself said on another occasion
"If I were to begin life again, I would devote it to music. It is the only cheap and unpunished rapture upon earth."

 

[John Jones Jr]

To which I might add - remove all contact with the news. It is a procession of misery, let others worry about it!

Excellent point and never a truer word spoken. Well said.

 

[st13phil]

Every now and then the humanity of many members of this forum shines through in their postings. This is one of those threads.

Stu: Thank you for sharing - If it helps you through your darker moments, then keep sharing. No apology is required. That it has provided an opportunity to showcase the camaraderie and compassion that exists here is an added bonus.

 

[Deleted96908]

Thanks chaps, that's very much appreciated.

Stu

I think it is us who should be thanking you for leading the way, for who amongst us have not felt as you do now. Some of us less so, and some more. Few of us however, resolved enough to take that first step.

I was going to mention Churchill's black dog and Alistair Campbell's struggles with brilliance and despair, instead I thought I'd share this by Yeats, which serves to remind me of the humility and helplessness in us all:

The Cloths of Heaven

Had I the heaven's embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light;
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

W. B. Yeats
.

 

[John]

To which I might add - remove all contact with the news. It is a procession of misery, let others worry about it!

This is something I strongly advocate.

It concentrates all the ills of the world in one handy place to really create some disproportion and excessive negative perception!

 

[brucemillar]

Watch Xhamster. That always cheers me up.

 

[renault12ts]

Watch Xhamster. That always cheers me up.

John?

 

[Deane x]

My hat off to you stu ,,us men often find it very hard to open up ( I often don't even talk to my wife about it ) .there's nothing worse than depression especially when your life is good but you still feel down and people don't under stand ,reading your post brought a tear to my eye you bugger

 

[Ted]

Always welcome here for a good single malt and a chat.
Of course, I'll tell you to 'pull yourself together' but that's just me.

 

[Deleted96908]

Oh Lord can I please roll the clock back?

Oh! now we get it. You didn't mention you had a birthday coming up, and your 43rd as well - a very thought provoking year if I recall correctly

Happy Birthday.