Mercedes Jokes

[The Boss]

Teeing Off With A Mercedes Benz

On a golf tour in Newfoundland,Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes Benz into a gas station in a remote part of the island.
The attendant at the pump greets him in a typical Newfoundland manner, completely unaware of who the golf pro is.
“Mornin’ bye” says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.
As he does so, two tees fall out out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
“What are dey den, son?” asks the attendant.
“They’re called tees” replies Tiger.
“Well, what on de good earth are dey for?” inquires the Newfie.
“They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving” says Tiger.
“Freeckin Jaysus” says the Newfie, “Dem boys at Mercedes tink of everything”.

 

[The Boss]

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.

Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing.

Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"

"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"

"No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"

 

[BlackC55]

I will tell you one.

My MB has no rust.

 

[The Boss]

lol

 

[Dee-124CAB]

'Im thinking about scrapping my perfectly good SLK'


Sorry Bossman, I couldnt resist.

 

[The Boss]

'Im thinking about scrapping my perfectly good SLK'


Sorry Bossman, I couldnt resist.

HA HA HA...

hmmm

u have to appreciateee my point though.. lol.. sorry... but i genuinely believe it to was near scrap value..

I have had an offer from a forum member of £2.5k anyway..... just think now it might be worth a little more after looking at research - but let see.. as i have no probs running it for a couple more years..

120k miles, dent on passenger door, interior is very worn, prob due to original crap quality, and there are many 2001/2002 and 2003 models selling for £5k with less mileage..

so it did come across to me as scrappable value...

Its just a very very very reliable car.. which i think i need to keep now and use for a few more years ... its honestly never ever given me a single problem...only fault was wit the kenwood radio, but that has been fixed.. everything else works..

i just cant understand how the values of cars with 70k or 80k mileage are so low... wow.. shocked is all i can say lol..

I will put it up for sale anyhow at £3500-£4000 - see what happens.. as surely, the one owner and service history must be desirable to some one out there..

 

[Sp!ke]

There's some joker trying to sell a pre-facelift w124 320 cabriolet for sale on pistonheads for £35,000

 

[the1beard]

lol

 

[The Boss]

There's some joker trying to sell a pre-facelift 320 cabriolet for sale on pistonheads for £35,000

Depends on who has the last laugh lol

 

[Dee-124CAB]

Bossman, on a serious note, how long are you going to give it before there is a drop in the price?

I assume you dont have to sell, so the car may up for sale for a very long time at that price?...How long you going to give it?

 

[The Boss]

Bossman, on a serious note, how long are you going to give it before there is a drop in the price?

I assume you dont have to sell, so the car may up for sale for a very long time at that price?...How long you going to give it?

Hi.. I dunno.. initially was 1-2 years.. but i think now i will just keep it ongoing until the offer price is acheived..

I dont have any desire to sell it unless some one as loved up as me wants it.. at asking or close to..

lets see eh !

ok got to go airport now.. have a good evening gents and ladies

 

[Smiley]

Hi.. I dunno.. initially was 1-2 years.. but i think now i will just keep it ongoing until the offer price is acheived..

I dont have any desire to sell it unless some one as loved up as me wants it.. at asking or close to..

lets see eh !

ok got to go airport now.. have a good evening gents and ladies

O pass me the bucket I want to puke up.

 

[The Boss]

O pass me the bucket I want to puke up.

___|___
\ ........ /
_\_____/

enjoy!

 

[missyparrot]

funny jokes guys ...

 

[The Boss]

Farmer`s Mercedes

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, 'I think I can stand over the hole!' So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, 'Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up.' And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:
If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.

 

[The Boss]

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan Officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank.
She has the Title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 Loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns. She repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The blonde replies, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

 

[The Boss]

Mercedes and Cop

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80/mph, he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100... then the reality of the situation hit him. "WHAT AM I DOING?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examines it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thought for a second and said, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"
"Have a nice weekend." said the officer.

 

[The Boss]

A taxi driver driving a Mercedes-Benz picked Santa at the airport one day.
When Santa got in and they started on their way he enquired what the three pinned emblem on the front is for.
The driver replied "Why? It`s for lining it up at people so you can run them down".
"Ah I see", said Santa.
With this the taxi driver starts heading straight for an elderly woman but at the last second swerves away and hears a loud bang, he looks curiously over at Santa who is hanging out of the car with the door wide open:
"I thought you were going to miss there for a minute!".

 

[the1beard]

lol