Misunderstanding

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Earlier this morning I read through several pages of a thread on Forum Membership that I found intriguing.

For those who may have missed it, I'm talking about a thread started by a member of then just 3 days who was questioning the ethics of the general membership. Or was he? It took best part of 3 pages to ascertain that he had completely misunderstood the meaning of "SUPPORTER" allocated to a number of those members who had responded to his question in another thread. I only quickly scanned that other thread that he started but I think it was something to do with asking how to remove a fuel filter from a CLS - although the exact content is immaterial. The OP those threads appeared to have got the impression that the forum's 'supporters' were tradespeople responding for the sole intention of drumming up business. We all know that he was wrong and, perhaps not surprisingly, he was attacked from all directions and all heights. Some posters tried to be helpful whilst a few got more aggressive.

All those pages (now 6) within a couple of days over a simple misunderstanding. Or, to be more accurate, over lots of misunderstandings. The OP started off by expressing a view founded on a misunderstanding and readers followed with posts constructed from their own misunderstood interpretations of what the OP was trying to say. In no time at all the OP found himself on one side of a battle line with everyone else either firmly ensconced on the other side or actively watching on, some possibly attempting to lighten the situation with their references to popcorn.

Basically a typical social media scenario. We all see it every day. We're all at fault, because none of us communicate very well. We usually don't express ourselves as well as we intend. And we don't interpret what others say as well as we think we do. We're basically crap at it, yet we continue to discuss, to argue, to get upset by what we read on social media. All because we're being misunderstood without realising it. I'm certain that I'm being misunderstood now. That's my fault ... and yours.

There's a piece in Psychology Today looking into this issue where the author, Jim Stone, tells us that "Interpretation is a complex, non-linear process, and easy to get wrong." That's the real problem, all too often it's easier to get wrong than it is to get right. There are so many factors governing interpretation that we can easily head off on the wrong road. Once on that wrong road, especially in the company of those we're familiar with (such as forum members) we become ever more certain that we have a coherent interpretation of what's been said. We don't need to listen any more, our views are formed. Unfortunately, just because our understanding is coherent doesn't necessarily mean it's accurate. For a way better interpretation of what I'm trying to say, I can thoroughly recommend reading this two-part article.


My (possibly wrong :dk:) interpretation of the aforementioned new member is that he came into the forum and asked very politely for some help with an issue. Early responders appear to have misunderstood the detail of his query and provided explanations for other vehicles. The OP thanked them nicely but tried to clarify the specifics of the problem he was having. On being told that it was just the same, when it clearly wasn't, he expressed a bit of frustration. He was possibly concerned that the thread he'd started in order to get some specific help would split off into all kinds of other areas (as they invariably do!) leaving him without an answer to what was troubling him. In yet another thread, the OP asked whether it was forum policy to add a question into an existing related thread or start a new one. He learnt that we were easy going and that either was acceptable, so he started a new thread to try to better understand the forum structure whilst expressing his opinion as a result of his misunderstanding of forum sponsors.

Giving the impression of criticising the forum was evidently akin to criticising someone's driving skills. :eek: Quite understandably his intentions were misunderstood, and I think that's a shame. I'm as guilty as the next man of misunderstanding people and so jumping to the wrong conclusions. The trouble is that it's far too easy to skim read what someone posts on social media without trying to fully understand what it is they're saying. Then it's even easier to rattle off a response based on that misunderstanding, a response that's invariably antagonistic. That in turn gets misunderstood and so the ugly mess continues.

In Jim Stone's article that I linked to above, he concludes with a set of suggested methods to limit our misunderstanding. His final 'rule' is "Be cautious with sarcasm and satire. No need to avoid it entirely, but be aware of the hazards." I've fallen into the trap many times, both as a poster and as a reader. Too late I realised that I had forever misunderstood Dr Feelgood, my one-liner nemesis. He caused more steam to burst out of my head than I've ever witnessed from a split radiator hose. But just before he disappeared from this forum (for ever?) he sent me a PM in which he expressed genuine concern over some trauma I was experiencing at the time. Behind it all, he was (and presumably still is) a really nice guy - just misunderstood.
 
That’s a wonderful post Tim. 👏👏👏

I agree it’s so difficult to judge many posts and easy to jump to the wrong conclusions. That’s why I’m never short of an apology if/when I get the wrong end of the stick.

Its a shame that some members seem to make their minds up about a member and it’s then set in stone.
 
I think a little research into the ‘supporter’ banner before kicking off, would have saved him a lot of digging. Once he got to the point of basically insulting everyone here, except for the (few?) good guys, it was always going to be a tough position to come back from
 
Misunderstanding or not, what about this?

I have actually managed to solve the problem today after some further investigation so will leave it at that. If anyone wants the solution to the problem I had then please PM me.

Why cant you simply share it with everyone on your thread?!?

By keeping it hidden, you are going against the spirit of the forum.
 
I think a little research into the ‘supporter’ banner before kicking off, would have saved him a lot of digging. Once he got to the point of basically insulting everyone here, except for the (few?) good guys, it was always going to be a tough position to come back from
Agreed. He made a number of knee-jerk assertions based on a misunderstanding. I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of that from time to time. I certainly have.
 
Misunderstanding or not, what about this?



Why cant you simply share it with everyone on your thread?!?

By keeping it hidden, you are going against the spirit of the forum.
A reaction to the aggressive posts he had just endured? Undoubtedly a case of “I’m not going to let you play with my ball if some of you are going to be nasty to me“, but not all that surprising in the circumstances. It’s not easy when people gang up on you, whether real or perceived.
 
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A reaction to the aggressive posts he had just endured? Undoubtedly a case of “I’m not going to let you play with my ball if some of you are going to be nasty to me“, but not all that surprising in the circumstances. It’s not easy when people gang up on you, whether real or perceived.

From his intial post on that thread:

From the OP's first post:- IMHO there is nothing worse than someone who allegedly knows an answer but omits to explain it.

From the OP's last post:- Had every intention to do so KH and probably will

View attachment 113236



We have plenty of new members joining daily who dont understand how things work, what things mean - we get alot of questions via the 'Contact us' button asking for help.

Joining a forum already with a chip on your shoulder about 'Supporters' or that noone actually answers the questions correctly is not going to get anyone far,

I stand by my reply from yesterday:

To the OP,

Im not entirely sure what your issue with the forum is, :dk: you have asked a question which (in my eyes) had some very helpful replies. You may not have had the exact reply or answer you were looking for, for that you may need to visit a garage or dealership. :)
This place is a huge pool of information and is free, it relies on people having been in the same boat as yourself and have already had the issue you are having, - have you considered that noone has had the exact same issue/model?

A forum sponsor did reply to you, but he runs a garage and may not have seen your reply, or had time to reply. However, he doesnt have to reply to anyone.

After only being here a week, you are a bit premature to judge the place so quickly. I noticed from your 2nd ever post that you have said "Some forums can be
confrontational" - Yes this is true, however having a mini rant about a new place isnt exactly going to help you is it! I assume you have had this in the past, maybe a result of being quick to judge? ;)

There is only so much info which is freely available, I myself ask on here, check old threads and then bite the bullet and get the car booked into my garage.

Anyhow, welcome to the forum, I hope you can also add knowledge aswell as request. Good luck with your issue, if you are unable to find a solution here please make sure you share what the solution is, to whatever is wrong with you car for others in future :thumb:
 
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That thread does remind me a bit of the swiss cheese analogy for risk/incidents happening - a number of minor incidents eventually connect to lead to a major incident. In this case there were a number of opportunities for the situation to defuse or be defused (by both sides) but unfortunately (or possibly inevitably?) that didn't happen.

It does show how things can spiral!

Two positives i see that have come out of it though. Firstly, i think it's testament to the folks on here that there is a discussion of events (led of course by Knighterrant) and evaluation of what happened - we do seem to genuinely care, whichever side we support. In my experience this forum is by far the most community minded. (As an aside i do think the various off topic threads add to this). Secondly, it reminded me of the 600psi thread, and i had to read it again which really brightened up my day!
 
Secondly, it reminded me of the 600psi thread, and i had to read it again which really brightened up my day!
Should I assume that this is an in-joke to which I'm not party? I just did a search for the infamous 600psi thread which I've seen mentioned on several occasions. Nothing, nowt, niet. The search brought up 9 pages with references to the thread but every link I tried to follow led to:

We're sorry...​

The page you are looking for cannot be found.

Return to the homepage

Please put me out of my misery. Either with a working link or a bullet. :wallbash: :wallbash::wallbash::wallbash:
 
Should I assume that this is an in-joke to which I'm not party? I just did a search for the infamous 600psi thread which I've seen mentioned on several occasions. Nothing, nowt, niet. The search brought up 9 pages with references to the thread but every link I tried to follow led to:

We're sorry...​

The page you are looking for cannot be found.

Return to the homepage

Please put me out of my misery. Either with a working link or a bullet. :wallbash: :wallbash::wallbash::wallbash:
Oh sorry - i had to search for it earlier - i'll look again and post up a link.
 
From his intial post on that thread:





We have plenty of new members joining daily who dont understand how things work, what things mean - we get alot of questions via the 'Contact us' button asking for help.

Joining a forum already with a chip on your shoulder about 'Supporters' or that noone actually answers the questions correctly is not going to get anyone far,

I stand by my reply from yesterday:

To the OP,

Im not entirely sure what your issue with the forum is, :dk: you have asked a question which (in my eyes) had some very helpful replies. You may not have had the exact reply or answer you were looking for, for that you may need to visit a garage or dealership. :)
This place is a huge pool of information and is free, it relies on people having been in the same boat as yourself and have already had the issue you are having, - have you considered that noone has had the exact same issue/model?

A forum sponsor did reply to you, but he runs a garage and may not have seen your reply, or had time to reply. However, he doesnt have to reply to anyone.

After only being here a week, you are a bit premature to judge the place so quickly. I noticed from your 2nd ever post that you have said "Some forums can be
confrontational" - Yes this is true, however having a mini rant about a new place isnt exactly going to help you is it! I assume you have had this in the past, maybe a result of being quick to judge? ;)

There is only so much info which is freely available, I myself ask on here, check old threads and then bite the bullet and get the car booked into my garage.

Anyhow, welcome to the forum, I hope you can also add knowledge aswell as request. Good luck with your issue, if you are unable to find a solution here please make sure you share what the solution is, to whatever is wrong with you car for others in future :thumb:
Yup. Confirmation of what I wrote at the beginning:
We usually don't express ourselves as well as we intend. And we don't interpret what others say as well as we think we do. We're basically crap at it
As Chris said a short while ago, we're all too ready to let things spiral out of control when lines of communication have become distorted. None of us sat back and considered what was being said and why. It was foot to the floor time with eyes wide shut. There was right and wrong in what everyone wrote, the problem was that we all thought we were being good at it.
 
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Try this:

600 psi

If that doesn't work search for the thread "Oh Dear..."
Thanks Chris, it worked. I'll be gone for a while!!!
 
He is a hypocrite, he called me a troll and nasty, when I opionated he had insulted the forum a whole.

His discussion/argument was that some people say things he doesn't like.

Pot/kettle

I don't think anyone's posts were nasty or aggressive, more defending people/companies/forum that they enjoy, which he seem hell bent on insulting even after his 'misunderstandings'.
Yet he did say he had experienced these issues on other forums.
Common denominator?

It's just a screen you read, don't take it to heart, we all can't be perfect all the time.
 
Try this:

600 psi

If that doesn't work search for the thread "Oh Dear..."
At last, I understand 600psi (or 4137kPa as I believe we're still meant to call it in accordance with SI units despite no longer being in the EU). It really is worth making the effort to understand other posts, without having done that I'd never have appreciated the power of a prawn.
 

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