Moral dilemma

[Darrell]

Gents,

I have a bit of a problem with my dad.

He has been suffering from epilepsy for a number of years. Not the full blown stuff but something called petit mous (I think). He has had all sorts of medication with different levels and made by different manufacturers.

He is still driving, I know he shouldn't and he knows he shouldn't so please guys, I don't need a lecture about this.

My problem is that he had a fit recently. He wasn't driving. Apart from that I don't know anything more about it.

My dilemma is what do I do about it.

He is my dad and he is a stubborn 70 year old. He suffers from COPD and therefore can't walk more than about 20 meters before he is out of breath. He is divorced from my mum and so there is no-one to ferry him about. Life without driving would be the final nail in the coffin for him.

My sister has spoken to him along with my brother and he just gets all stressed out and gets a bit nasty so the problem still persists.

The inevitable is going to happen one day and my siblings and I will be devastated if someone gets hurt knowing that we could have maybe prevented it.

A bit of a long winded thing I know but I need some help here.

Thanks.

 

[ringway]

^That's it.




Do the right thing.

 

[renault12ts]

Tough situation...you absolutely must tell the authorities.

Imagine how you will feel if you have to tell us he has died in an accident and taken someone else out too.

 

[artyman]

As you have already stated you know what the correct course of action is, you just need the courage to implement it. I appreciate the difficulties, but how will your Dad feel if he has a fit kills someone but survives himself, not to great I would imagine. Sad as it is he really needs to stop driving now.

 

[Darrell]

Tough situation...you absolutely must tell the authorities.

Imagine how you will feel if you have to tell us he has died in an accident and taken someone else out too.

I know the right course of action to take. Do I just walk into a police station and tell them? Is there a procedure to do this?

If he found out it was me that 'grassed him up' and that's precisely how he would see it, he would probably disown me.

 

[IanA2]

Another way might be to discuss it with his GP. As far as I am aware family doctors have a duty to report to the DVLA if they feel someone should not be driving. That way someone else does it for you which should reduce tensions.

 

[grober]

Petit mal I think you mean. Petit mal seizure: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia
He should not be driving. It may also be possible he not taking his meds properly [ forgetting? ] if he is on any anti-epileptic drug so this also need to be addressed. If he won't listen to his family perhaps he might listen to his GP?
His fear of losing his independence is understandable but there are alternatives--- many older people find they can use local taxis with impunity with the money saved not running a car.

 

[Darrell]

Another way might be to discuss it with his GP. As far as I am aware family doctors have a duty to report to the DVLA if they feel someone should not be driving. That way someone else does it for you which should reduce tensions.

I thought that as well and can't understand why he didn't. I need to find out who his doctor is.

The problem is that I am not really in a position to say anything because I haven't been exactly whiter than white in the past and he always chucks that back in my face. He picked me up from Heathrow on Saturday and it wasn't until I spoke to my sister the following day that I found out about his recent siezure. She was livid that he was driving.

 

[IanA2]

I thought that as well and can't understand why he didn't. I need to find out who his doctor is.

The problem is that I am not really in a position to say anything because I haven't been exactly whiter than white in the past and he always chucks that back in my face. He picked me up from Heathrow on Saturday and it wasn't until I spoke to my sister the following day that I found out about his recent siezure. She was livid that he was driving.

This might help. It's the GMC guidance to doctors:




http://www.gmc-uk.org/Confidentiality_reporting_concerns_Revised_2013.pdf_52091821.pdf

5 If a patient refuses to accept the diagnosis, or the effect
of the condition on their ability to drive, you can
suggest that they seek a second opinion, and help
arrange for them to do so. You should advise the
patient not to drive in the meantime.
6 If a patient continues to drive when they may not be fit
to do so, you should make every reasonable effort to
persuade them to stop. As long as the patient agrees,
you may discuss your concerns with their relatives,
friends or carers.September 2009
Confidentiality: reporting concerns about patients to the DVLA or the DVA
7 If you do not manage to persuade the patient to stop
driving, or you discover that they are continuing to
drive against your advice, you should contact the DVLA
or DVA immediately and disclose any relevant medical
information, in confidence, to the medical adviser.
8 Before contacting the DVLA or DVA you should try to
inform the patient of your decision to disclose personal
information. You should then also inform the patient in
writing once you have done so.

 

[renault12ts]

One of my nephews has petit mal. He has been on meds since he was 14 (now 30). He only passed his driving test and bought a car 2 years ago. However, 6 months ago he had a fit ( the first in perhaps 10 years). This was probably due to a change in his meds. He was immediately barred from driving for at least one year whilst his condition was observed.

As said above it is odd that your father's GP has not acted.

 

[Howard]

Would it be possible that the GP *has* acted , the DVLA have revoked the licence but dad continues to drive anyway ?

Gets a bit more serious if that is the case ....

 

[Simon_M]

I definitely would speak to the GP. Is it possible you could sell it to your dad as a 1 year temporary break from driving with a re-assessment afterwards?

 

[davidjpowell]

My grandfather eventually stopped driving due to old age. He'd taken steps to keep his independence in the mean time, with a motobility scooter. Might be an option so that he is at least not house bound, which is probably his fear.

 

[davidsw]

Similar situation with my wife's uncle. No actual medical problem but he was obviously not fit to drive. Eventually he did have an accident (not serious) but he then gave in and sold his car. He used the money to buy a mobility scooter and gets about well now.

 

[Technophobe]

+1 on speaking to the GP.

If you get a response along the lines that he/she can't speak to you without your father's consent, make it clear that you do not want any information about him or his dealings with his GP, you simply wish to pass on information the GP needs to be aware of.

I frequently encounter (in the course of my work) health professionals refusing to have any contact with families on the grounds of 'confidentiality', even though this should only apply in relation to the DISCLOSING of personal information without the knowledge/consent of the patient. That said, GPs tend to be rather better at understanding this than some other groups of health professionals.

 

[poormansporsche]

Have you thought about speaking to a local epilepsy charity/support group ? When my daughter was (wrongly) diagnosed with epilepsy the local charity was round within 24 hours with all sorts of forms and stuff. They may be able to get the result you need and help with alternative transportation

 

[SportsCoupeRich]

Get him out to the sunshine with you?

 

[Ted]

Hopefully, this will add a little levity to what is a serious matter - and I do sympathise with you Darrell, but I think you already know what is right.

Some years ago I had to go to the dentist for a tooth extraction. An injection was popped in , and I promptly passed out (what a wuss).
The dentist was concerned that I hadn't fainted, but had a fit as he said my limbs were jerking, and advised me to see a doctor as I shouldn't be driving (Never had a fit in my life)
Doctor's appointment booked a few weeks later off I went.

"Pop your shoes and socks off" said he only to see my toenails gaudily coloured with varnish and different glitter patterns - I had totally forgotten that I had allowed my girls to do a 'contest' on toenail painting on my nails some days before.
That took some explaining, and I'm pretty sure he took my explanation with a pinch of salt, but at least I got a clean bill of health.

 

[DSM10000]

With respect there is no debate here moral or otherwise.

I can fully appreciate and empathise with you wanting to use the forum to discuss this and use it as a way of reaching the only decision can be made but make that decision someone must.

Your father has been prescribed medication that, by definition may only be obtained from a registered medical practitioner who therefore must be aware of both the implications of the diagnosis with regards to fitness to drive, the implications of non compliance in respect of taking the medications as prescribed and also the medical practitioner's professional duty of care both to their patient and to the wider community.

Although your father's care may not be discussed with you or your siblings without your fathers consent I would suggest a family member asking to speak with the GP or Consultant to at least express your concerns, by raising the issue in this way you are allowing them to follow up on their duty of care but you are not directly responsible for the outcome.

Life often presents us with incredibly difficult choices especially when those choices involve family and loved ones but it is paramount that you and your family collectively support each other to sort this out and do so without any delay.

Regards

David.

 

[Darrell]

Get him out to the sunshine with you?

No bloody way!