More Jokes

[AMGeed]

I don't think this happy couple celebrating their engagement realised the error in their table decoration

 

[AMGeed]

A familiar road sign for the Northern lads?

 

[Meldrew2]

Syria has appealed for assistance after a boatload of 500 Greeks arrived, looking for a better life.

 

[del320]

Syria has appealed for international assistance today, after a boatload of 500 Greeks arrived seeking a better life.

Syria has appealed for assistance after a boatload of 500 Greeks arrived, looking for a better life.

...even funnier the second time around...



:fail

 

[crockers]

How did that slip through?

 

[Meldrew2]

How did that slip through?

It's another boatload... 1000 now and rising...

 

[Meldrew2]

How did that slip through?

It's another boatload... 1000 now and rising...

 

[Meldrew2]

How did that slip through?

As the Proclaimers sang...

"I would send 500 Greeks, and I would send 500 more..."

(embarrassed)

 

[AMGeed]

deleted...............double post.

 

[AMGeed]

I was looking on the African version of Trip Advisor earlier.
Great Britain has a very good rating.

 

[ibrahimx2001]

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

 

[ibrahimx2001]

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

 

[ibrahimx2001]

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

 

[AMGeed]

It's too early isn't it?

 

[NDFR]

A job lot of Australian cricket bats for sale. Hardly used.

 

[Chrishazle]

Definition of an optimist - Australian batsman putting on sunscreen!!

 

[tmwsccsh]

Maybe he's just getting ready for fielding early....?

TMW

 

[Giantvanman]

A man was arrested yesterday after falling into a combine harvester whilst trying to steal it. He is due to be bailed tomorrow.

boom boom.

 

[Giantvanman]

This one is not really a joke but I found it amusing (apart from the first one).

 

[Tim203]

Failed the health and safety exam today. Apparently the answer to 'what steps would you take in the event of a fire' is not bloody big ones!