More Jokes
Ted
MB Enthusiast
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2004
- Messages
- 7,219
- Location
- Bourton on Dunsmore
- Car
- Lexus RC300h F-Sport, Yamaha XVS 1100, Toyota C-HR GR sport
An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily.
'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother through?'
The girl, crying, replied, Dad... I became a prostitute.'
'Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'
'OK, Dad... as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a 5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club ... (takes a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.'
'What was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.
Girl, crying again, 'A prostitute, Daddy!.'
'Oh! My Goodness! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug !!!
'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother through?'
The girl, crying, replied, Dad... I became a prostitute.'
'Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'
'OK, Dad... as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a 5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club ... (takes a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.'
'What was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.
Girl, crying again, 'A prostitute, Daddy!.'
'Oh! My Goodness! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug !!!
Paddy won a camel in a crossword competition, ,not sure what to do with it ,he thought he would ride it to work to give it a bit of a run, and show his mates. Next morning he set off across London to the building site,on arriving his mates were well surprised and wanted to know all about it, one asked him what sex it was, without hesitation, Paddy said, to be sure and beggora, its a female, and how would you be knowing that? Asked another. Well said Paddy I was trotting over London Bridge through the crowds on my way here, and they were all cheering and waving, and I heard one of them say to his mate,"look at that ¢uπ£ on the camel".
streethawk
MB Enthusiast
What do you call a sarcastic cow boy?
Tex piss
Tex piss
streethawk
MB Enthusiast
What do you call a sarcastic cowboy?
Tex p!ss
Tex p!ss
Sorry Pete
Active Member
I asked a Welsh friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had.
He started counting but fell asleep.
He started counting but fell asleep.