My Mate Dave...

[Spinal]

I've seen a few threads creeping up, with some innovative suggestions as to dealing with aggravating road users...

So I was wonder, what does "your mate dave" do? Any "bad habits" that have been picked up over the years which you are proud of?

Here are Daves (the second stolen from another thread):

- When riding a motorbike, and being confronted at a traffic light by an irate car driver shouting out the window (someone "Dave" knew) something he saw online popped into his head. He quickly reached in, turned off the car and removed the car keys before proceeding to throwing them onto the sidewalk before riding off. Works only with cars with keys on the "right" side...

- When driving and being confronted by 2 lorries trying to overtake and hogging both lanes (the thread that made me think of this) Dave will overtake then slow down in lane 2 until said lorry driver sees lane 1...

Any others?
M.

 

[Howard]

If Dave was to put his hand in my window , he would quickly discover that the key wont come out unless the car is in 'park' and that my right hand / right foot reflex is surprisingly quick.

He would need his Kevlar trousers on in order to survive the ensuing journey unscathed

 

[renault12ts]

Dave's a menace.

 

[wemorgan]

Dave's a menace.

No, that's Dennis.

 

[Spinal]

If Dave was to put his hand in my window , he would quickly discover that the key wont come out unless the car is in 'park' and that my right hand / right foot reflex is surprisingly quick.

He would need his Kevlar trousers on in order to survive the ensuing journey unscathed

Dave never thought of automatics - much like the Stig, he refuses to acknowledge the existence of automatic transmission

 

[Stratman]

Many many years ago I was driving along a B road through the countryside, being tailgated by an angry young thing in a Barrymobile. He was revving his engine, pulling out to pass only to pull in again under braking as a car approached from the other direction, dropping back and then racing to to within an inch of my back bumper and so on.

There were no passing places for me to pull into, and anyway I didn't want to be delayed for hours by his accident if he did get past. Eventually I needed to turn off the road, and one of those Heaven sent opportunities presented itself. A tractor towing one of those things for spreading muck over the full width of the road was waiting for us to pass before pulling out. Being the gentleman I am, I kindly waved him out in front of me, and then turned into the road he had just vacated

Barry Boy was most definitely not amused, judging by the length of the horn blast with which he saluted me.

 

[renault12ts]

I too once had Barryboy on my bumper...he over took on a bridge, I flashed my lights and he gave me the bird. I whipped out my credit card holder and held it up in the windscreen and pointed to the left.

He duly pulled over and allowed me to tick him off before sending him on his way...thank goodness he didn't ask to inspect my "ID"...

 

[WDB124066]

Many many years ago I was driving along a B road through the countryside, being tailgated by an angry young thing in a Barrymobile. He was revving his engine, pulling out to pass only to pull in again under braking as a car approached from the other direction, dropping back and then racing to to within an inch of my back bumper and so on.

There were no passing places for me to pull into, and anyway I didn't want to be delayed for hours by his accident if he did get past. Eventually I needed to turn off the road, and one of those Heaven sent opportunities presented itself. A tractor towing one of those things for spreading muck over the full width of the road was waiting for us to pass before pulling out. Being the gentleman I am, I kindly waved him out in front of me, and then turned into the road he had just vacated

Barry Boy was most definitely not amused, judging by the length of the horn blast with which he saluted me.

I let Barry Boys through, because I am never sure if they are Fireman on the way to the Station, or if they have a mate in the back of the car allergic to bee stings who's just been stung all over etc etc You never know why people speed, just let them by is the best for everyone, take the plate number, call the cops. DON'T HOLD THEM UP because if it were me and there was an emergency I'd run you clean off the road matey - in the nicest possible way.

 

[Spinal]

Many moons ago, when Dave had just gotten his driving license (and his first W202) he did some stupid things. Amongst these include putting blue neons under the car (seriously, on a C180), painting the engine and callipers bright red, fitting 18" rims from an S-class, and driving like a moron next to an unmarked V70 which turned out to be a police car (and being told to learn to f***ing drive about a mile down the road).

Dave was also caught laughing at a convertible fiat punto with viper stripes... only to find his neighbour getting into the car after he heard him deride the car in front of said neighbour and his girlfriend. That taught Dave an important lesson, if you don't have something positive to say, stfu (as they say on the interweb)!

M.

 

[Dieselman]

That taught Dave an important lesson, if you don't have something positive to say, stfu (as they say on the interweb)!

M.

Could be a sticky on this forum...

 

[Howard]

My mate Dave once pulled out to overtake someone , and failed to notice the traffic island in the middle of the road.

Ended badly.

 

[Spinal]

Here's one that Dave found on the interweb and sent me... quite dangerous, but karma and all that...
[youtube]Js3Tt7foFds[/youtube]

 

[Dieselman]

My Mate Dave once pulled out to pass a coach on a B road, to find a car coming the other way half way down the bus.

 

[Howard]

Haha , did it end badly ?

Another incident by my mate Dave happened when he was living in cornwall , he was haring round the narrow lanes in his CRX VTEC , and a lady who had just crossed a stile appeared on the road in front of him with a little terrier on a lead , as he rounded the bend at XX mph.

The little dog was swung like an Olympic hammer into the hedge as he passed.

He's not proud of it.

 

[Mr. B]

My mate Dave was once travelling at excess speed on the m/way when he started to play with the sun visor which he broke and threw it onto the back seat.

Less than 1 min later Dave found himself approaching the brow of a hill when he was suddenly blinded by the early morning sun.

Dave being Dave continued at excess speed for a split second and was then confronted by stationary traffic over the brow of the hill.

With nowhere to go Dave suddenly did an exit stage left manoeuvre onto the hard shoulder which was free from traffic.

A short time later Dave felt the urge to visit trap 1.

 

[Dieselman]

Haha , did it end badly ?

Fortunately Dave has lightning reactions and pulled the car back over so it was a side to side kiss instead of a death smash. Scored 5 points for it though...

Another incident by my mate Dave happened when he was living in cornwall , he was haring round the narrow lanes in his CRX VTEC , and a lady who had just crossed a stile appeared on the road in front of him with a little terrier on a lead , as he rounded the bend at XX mph.

The little dog was swung like an Olympic hammer into the hedge as he passed.

He's not proud of it.

My mate Dave would have been...

Another one of Dave's antics was when "making progress" down another B road, a farm-hand let the cows out of a field to cross over into an opposite one.
Dave's car had good brakes, but the lead cow just kept on walking and it was going to be road kill for dinner, so Dave turned into the gateway alongside the cow.

 

[LTD]

My mate Dave knows another guy's mate, Martin.

 

[Howard]

Polish chap ?

 

[Stratman]

...............................

but the lead cow just kept on walking and it was going to be road kill for dinner, so Dave turned into the gateway alongside the cow.

"Phew" said the cow, "We got out of that field just in time."

 

[Dieselman]

"Phew" said the cow, "We got out of that field just in time."

Dave went into the gateway the cows were going into.