my wife has cancer

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Athey

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3 weeks ago, my wife deb found a lump on her breast that seems to have come out of nowhere. Went to the doctors and was referred urgently for tests.
On monday last week, she had a mammogram, biopsy and other things done, and had the phone call friday morning confirming she has breast cancer!
She had a blood test done yesterday and has a ct scan booked tomorrow to see if it has spread anywhere else other than her breast and lymph nodes under her armpit.
As you will all understand, it is a hell of a shock to us all, but mostly poor deb,. Shes scared that it will take her the way cancer killed her dad a few years ago, and is sore and upset. She will fight this, and as all you ladies on here will sympathise with, shes terrified of losing her hair. Costs a fortune as it is to keep it nice but thats a girl thing!

Were trying to be positive at at the moment and hope that the best case scenario will be cut out the lump and chemo or radiotherapy to kill anything left.

worst case.... Another loss!

IM NOT GOING TO LOSE MY WIFE AS WELL, NOT THIS TIME SO DEATH **** OFF!

We will keep you all posted, and ladies, please check your breasts regularly, and go to the doctors as the slightest sign of anything wrong.
Gary and Debbie x
 

bob6600

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I'm so sorry to hear about your wife. Nothing I can say will help, but be strong and try to keep a cool head. I hope the treatment works and that you have caught it early so that it can be cut out. Fingers crossed for you both mate
 

clk320x

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Sorry to hear this news; hopefully the treatment is curative. Breast cancer treatment has come a long way and even with more advanced disease there can be good outcomes. Stay positive and ask for a second opinion if unsure. Thinking of you at this difficult time.
 
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jukie

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Thoughts and prayers assured. God bless and best wishes to you, your good lady and your family.
 

st13phil

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Sincerely hope that Debbie treads the path that the majority of early diagnosis cancer patients do and makes a full recovery. Keep up the time pressure on the medico's, and keep positive.

Thinking of you both.
 

SpikyMikey

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Apart from the advances in treatments, the power of positive thinking is also an awesome weapon in the battle against cancer. My mum was diagnosed with Leukaemia a few years ago and was absolutely determined she wasn't going to let it win without her fighting back; 5 years later she's still going strong, albeit it's been tough.
Stay focused and stay strong, both for Debbie and yourself.
 

Trickythemerc

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Very sorry to hear your bad news, any cancer diagnosis is devastating for everyone. When you have the results of the tests, scans Etc and meet with the cancer specialist who will explain the treatment to you things will start to look a lot better for you. My own cancer journey was not without some ups and downs, but I had excellent care all along the way from the Christie Hospital. Try not to dwell to much on what you think your wife may be facing and treat every day as a step nearer to reaching remission.

Chemotherapy is a lot better managed these days with the newer drugs not having such nasty side effects, whilst still being very effective in fighting cancer. Once I had my treatment plan and the names of the drugs I was going to have R-CVP was the acronym for them, I did some googling to find out more about them and how they were discovered, this made me feel a lot less worried about what was coming my way. The three weekly cycle of treatment actually became part of life rather than a scary thing. I met lots of other people all with different stories of how they were getting through a difficult time in life. Everyone of the team at the Christie from the volunteers who wheeled the fruit and butties round at lunchtime to the nurses who looked after me did an amazing job.

Do please get in touch with Macmillan, they are brilliant and can be a great help with any problems or fears you may have. You have to think you are going to beat it and stay in that mind set no matter how tough it gets.

My thoughts are with you both at this difficult time.

Tricky :thumb:
 
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Athey

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What worries her the most is her dad had bowel cancer. Had his bowels ripped out and chemo, and the cancer came back aggressively. Weeks later he passed away.
For me, i lost my mum last feb. 8 months later i lost my dad in oct. Now 8 months later debbie is diagnosed with cancer. Am i being punished for something?
 

DSM10000

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What worries her the most is her dad had bowel cancer. Had his bowels ripped out and chemo, and the cancer came back aggressively. Weeks later he passed away.
For me, i lost my mum last feb. 8 months later i lost my dad in oct. Now 8 months later debbie is diagnosed with cancer. Am i being punished for something?
It's just the way life rolls sometimes.

Nothing personal.

My wife had Colon cancer a few years ago.

Treatment wasn't pleasant but she got through it and is now singed off as clear.

As others have said there have been and continue to be advances in cancer treatments and survival rates have never been higher.

Use all of the support offered both by friends, family and the medical teams.

Also, take one step at a time . If, and it's an "if" there is any hair loss with chemotherapy then it's a means to an end.

It's also an excuse to wear as many outrageous wigs as possible (for both of you! 😁)

Take it slowly, ask questions of all those involved who will help you both fight this.

Also, as important, look after yourself.
 
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Fununcle

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Feel for you both, if it helps at all three women in my life have had breast cancer and all got through it in time to be given the all clear. Some hard times along the way and some terrible wigs but the treatment is amazing and the chances of beating it are high.
As others have said stay strong and don't for a minute think you have to stay silent and shoulder it on your own. Talk to macmillan or samaritans or friends and family. Asking for help in hard times can be difficult but I can tell you from experience the relief of saying things out loud is incredible.
 

togthecat

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Absolutely horrible situation but stay as positive as possible for the pair of you x
 
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Athey

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It's just the way life rolls sometimes.



Also, take one step at a time (I suggest not using immotive words such as "had his bowels ripped out" however emotional you feel). If, and it's an "if" there is any hair loss with chemotherapy then it's a means to an end.
They were the words of my father in law! And we watched him go through hell.
 

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I wish you both the best of luck and hope that Debbie makes a swift and complete recovery.
 

Gazwould

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This is almost the worst part , the not knowing .

Mum has had first bowl and then breast cancer in the last year and a half .

Both early stages , bowl was zapped through radiotherapy and breast with tablets by controlling the estrogen levels as that is what the cancer feeds off , incredibly common that one .

Fingers crossed and my thoughts are with you both.
 

LTD

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Yep, one of THOSE !!!
When my mum was diagnosed, she was incredibly positive about it and decided to take whatever treatment was necessary.

That involved a mastectomy and some radiotherapy. She has passed on now but not from cancer. She, and the medical staff, beat that.

The one thing that brought her situation to be more ‘real’ was the morning I took her and my father to the breast clinic at the Beatson Oncology unit in Glasgow was just how many women become affected by this bastard of a disease.

The odds are well in your favour with early diagnosis - good luck to you all
 

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Cancer the dreaded C word. Here's a few more- care compassion companionship communication continuity. The first three can be helped by the many online communities concerned with this condition. The Macmillan site is very good as already mentioned but there will be other groups dealing with the condition and these may help to combat the feelings of isolation your wife may be experiencing. The last two concern your wife's interaction with the treatment she will receive from the NHS. I would suggest that she keeps a brief record of all her interactions with the system be it dates appointments consultations treatments in a diary. Things that seem fresh in her mind at the moment may fade with the passage of time, and it may help recall consultant/registrar/nurse names, what precisely was discussed, her prognosis , what drugs are prescribed, scan results etc etc. this often ensures continuity of care when you may not see the same NHS members of staff every time and who may only have their previous NHS notes to go by when they see you for the first time. This aids communication and continuity of care- it's a good self-help habit to develop. My advice go out and buy that desk diary now and detail what's happened so far. Wishing you both all best. G
 

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So sorry to hear this, must have been a shock! I hope that it has been caught early enough to be treated quickly.
 

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... She will fight this, and as all you ladies on here will sympathise with, shes terrified of losing her hair. Costs a fortune as it is to keep it nice but thats a girl thing!...
I can understand that, my Wife also spends loads on keeping her hair nice. For her, the worst aspect of lockdown was not being able to go to the hairdresser as much being able to go to the pub!

But in all seriousness, your wife's health is what matters above everything else. Wealth, Cars, even Hair, are not important.

Thinking of you...
 
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