Not Politically Correct

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glojo

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We have had a number of blonde jokes, and it appears politically incorrect to recite Irish Jokes....... but here goes

Subject: Paddy's pregnant sister

Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into
a deep coma.

After being in the coma for nearly six months she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant; frantically,

she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am,

you had twins!..... A boy and a girl.

The babies are fine now however they were poorly at birth and had
to be christened immediately - your brother came in and named them.

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh suffering Jesus no, not me
brother...he's a fecking, clueless, gob****e!" Expecting the worst,

she asks the doctor, "Well, what's my daughter's name?" "Denise,"
says the doctor. The new mother is somewhat relieved "Wow, that's a
beautiful name, I guess I was wrong about my brother....I like

Denise." Then she asks, "What's the boy's name?"

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Denephew

:D :D Think about it

 
I'm terribly offended John....

I'm coming round to burn your house ! ;)
 
That caused a chuckle here in Docklands: Have a bannana or two bannana: :bannana:
 
There's more!!!

AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS


An atheist was walking through the woods. "What majestic trees!" "What powerful rivers!" "What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him, he turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charging towards him, he ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. After a short distance he looked again, the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years....., teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident!!!!" "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:

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"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
 
LOL !! :D very good !
 
glojo said:
....
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
You are so wicked...
 
I'll join in John......I'm allowed to tell this as my wife's Jamaican!

A Jamaican couple were celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beach in Montego Bay. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town.. "What a peaceful & loving couple". A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, 'That's once.'

We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again, this time causing her to drop her water. Once more my wife quietly said,'That's twice'.

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for a third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead. I shouted at her, "Is wa du yu gyal, why u lick shot affa da poor hanimal like dat, yu mad?"

Then she looked at me, and quietly said, 'That's once'. And from that moment we have lived happily ever after."
 
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top stuff chap,lol :D 'ave a nana :bannana:
 
Brilliant - I love the first and made my chuckle big time, liked the others too I have to say but I've heard the third one before;) :D
 

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