Godfrey
Active Member
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2013
- Messages
- 165
- Location
- North of Aberdeen
- Car
- 211 320cdi Elegance estate, Soon to be sold RR Vouge, Defender, Triumph Daytona and Thunderbird
Free insulation on offer again and having a stupidly large pad with commensurately large Council Tax bill thought it time to get something back from the Council (who fund it) so three weeks ago made appointment with approved contractor to visit for measure up.
Bloke turns up late and one hour before dark. He's not impressed as most houses require 1.5 - 2.5 hours to do the house plan and measure up. He reckons ours may take 4 as it has three roof spaces and an open loft where I hang all my fishing waders, spare leathers, and 40 odd years worth of junk. After measuring all the rooms in the house it's time to start on the roof spaces which involves the removal of various hatches. Bloke at the time is up in the wifes' sewing room where she keeps a load of junk and notices a rolled up bit of gift wrapping which he asks if it's ok to use to open the hatch. He starts mucking around taking off the odd spiders web before opening said hatch. I do remember saying something like "great, a cleaning service too" whereupon the chap admits to being terrified of spiders........... I also remarked that perhaps his job choice was perhaps not the best, as a lot of houses in the area were as old as ours.
We still had another two hatches to do plus my junk attic. Having done the survey myself (much to the chaps relief)on that attic and two others and assured the bloke that there was no insulation up there, we moved onto my open walk in junk attic which is perhaps 35' long by 20'. Many years ago while in Venezuela one night in a bar I bought the biggest f!$% off bird eating spider you have ever seen. It's stuffed or dried -or whatever they do to them, and used to reside in a glass case which over the years got broken so the case got discarded. As the bloke had really got off lightly so far I thought it time to get a return on my Venezuelan investment so when he was busy measuring up placed it under the one attic window on the gable end. It was now a couple of hours after dark.
The funny thing was that three weeks ago it was still warm and as of a year ago some bats have moved in and with us moving around up there we must have disturbed them enough for two of them to start doing circuits in the loft space. It seemed that it wasn't just spiders the chap had worries about. He found himself cornered by that window where the spider was and in his panic to seek an avenue of escape saw said spider.
The bloke totally freaked, ran out clipping his head on the low attic access door and down all three flights of stairs and into his van. I needed a few minutes to gather myself :lol:before picking up the chaps clipboard and laser measure to go find him. I saw my wife on the ground floor (who this chap had run pass, and whose appointment I had forgotten to mention) who had just returned from a late finish at work.
The chap had actually locked himself in his van, and refused a return to the house for a cup of tea to help calm him down.
I wonder if I'll ever get my insulation?
Bloke turns up late and one hour before dark. He's not impressed as most houses require 1.5 - 2.5 hours to do the house plan and measure up. He reckons ours may take 4 as it has three roof spaces and an open loft where I hang all my fishing waders, spare leathers, and 40 odd years worth of junk. After measuring all the rooms in the house it's time to start on the roof spaces which involves the removal of various hatches. Bloke at the time is up in the wifes' sewing room where she keeps a load of junk and notices a rolled up bit of gift wrapping which he asks if it's ok to use to open the hatch. He starts mucking around taking off the odd spiders web before opening said hatch. I do remember saying something like "great, a cleaning service too" whereupon the chap admits to being terrified of spiders........... I also remarked that perhaps his job choice was perhaps not the best, as a lot of houses in the area were as old as ours.
We still had another two hatches to do plus my junk attic. Having done the survey myself (much to the chaps relief)on that attic and two others and assured the bloke that there was no insulation up there, we moved onto my open walk in junk attic which is perhaps 35' long by 20'. Many years ago while in Venezuela one night in a bar I bought the biggest f!$% off bird eating spider you have ever seen. It's stuffed or dried -or whatever they do to them, and used to reside in a glass case which over the years got broken so the case got discarded. As the bloke had really got off lightly so far I thought it time to get a return on my Venezuelan investment so when he was busy measuring up placed it under the one attic window on the gable end. It was now a couple of hours after dark.
The funny thing was that three weeks ago it was still warm and as of a year ago some bats have moved in and with us moving around up there we must have disturbed them enough for two of them to start doing circuits in the loft space. It seemed that it wasn't just spiders the chap had worries about. He found himself cornered by that window where the spider was and in his panic to seek an avenue of escape saw said spider.
The bloke totally freaked, ran out clipping his head on the low attic access door and down all three flights of stairs and into his van. I needed a few minutes to gather myself :lol:before picking up the chaps clipboard and laser measure to go find him. I saw my wife on the ground floor (who this chap had run pass, and whose appointment I had forgotten to mention) who had just returned from a late finish at work.
The chap had actually locked himself in his van, and refused a return to the house for a cup of tea to help calm him down.
I wonder if I'll ever get my insulation?
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