Nothing is a problem if somebody else has to do it

[Satch]

A few years back I was expected by idiot relatives to drive vast distances over Christmas and New Year ferrying them.

I refused in very clear and very direct terms.

Now once again it is expected, if fact already taken as read, that myself & No.1 son will do the following over a four day period.

Day 1. Surrey ---> Burnham on Sea-------> Dundee by 19.00

Day 2. Dundee----->Edinburgh 13.00----->Ayr 19.00

Day 3. Bored stupid in Ayr

Day 4 Ayr---->Burnham on Sea 19.00------>Surrey

That is at least 1200 miles. The days?

Oh Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day and day after that of course.

Timings? "Oh we must eat by........."

Why two of us? Well there are five people plus baggage to move around, three of them coming over from Australia so two cars are needed.

Now Mrs. S told her mother and her idiot husband this was not going to happen. Get over it and make alternative arrangements

But the in laws ignored that and have planned this great family reunion in huge detail.

And now are "heartbroken" that we have ruined it all for them, appalled and shocked, yes shocked, that my son called them a pair of selfish old turds.

That was just before I told them both to FO&D.

Job done I think.

 

[brucemillar]

Family harmony restored. Love it.

Sent from my iPhone using MBClub UK

 

[TDE1]

Excellent!

 

[noy91]

Wow! Love that the driving had to fit around meal times as well!

 

[epervier]

Sounds like you have been to Albert E. Arkwright's charm school, I attended the class of '73

never ever been a taxi for MIL, put that thought to bed years ago,

What year did you pass out? (with honours obviously)

 

[Satch]

Sounds like you have been to Albert E. Arkwright's charm school, I attended the class of '73

never ever been a taxi for MIL, put that thought to bed years ago,

What year did you pass out? (with honours obviously)

Ah I did a postgraduate diploma from the Malcolm Tucker Institute.

Was tempted to try the immortal line "“Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your purview and ram it up your ****** with a lubricated horse ****” but that was too long for them to follow.

 

[LTD]

Christmas - the time for families.

You enjoy your time with your immediate family, let them enjoy theirs.

I like being with my family, I prefer to meet most of my relatives at weddings and funerals.

 

[Palfrem]

That's a lot of driving at any time, let alone over Christmas.
The traffic on M25, M40, M6, etc. will be an absolute hoot on Christmas Eve

Also means you have to avoid a drink.

Big, big ask.

 

[Rory]

It could be worse - my wife's family all descend on us. Making cups of tea (hardly any of them drink) for 16 people is a full-time job in itself.

 

[Deleted member 6183]

I wonder if Jeremy Kyle does a posh version of his Show?

 

[Charles Morgan]

They're Australians, they have no sense of time distances here.

I once went to the Rhone valley on a wine tasting trip put together by a Californian acquaintance, Jeff - an in your face Jewish shock jock with attention deficit disorder. My alcoholic Irish bookseller friend Nigel and I would drive, Jeff organised the visits to winemakers, which he did, randomly from one end of the 200 mile valley to the other at a couple of hours interval. Nigel hated manuals, so insisted on a gutless Merc A class with a rubber band driven box. He then went down with a severe case of the DTs, so could only drive if absolutely plastered.

So muggins had to drive the car with next to no overtaking ability, not able to taste the wine much and having to drive hundreds of miles flat out from appointment to appointment with an off his head Irishman who couldn't navigate even when sober (a rare event) and a fat yank gob ****e jumping up and down in the back with a terminal case of the Are we there yet syndrome. Add in an autoroute closure on the day we needed to be 200 miles north in 3 hours and had I owned a gun I would have shot them.

 

[Jeff666]

I wonder if Jeremy Kyle does a posh version of his Show?

Not sure Satch would qualify

1. Articulate
2. Logical
3. Solution
4. Communication
5. Feedback
6. Personal successful outcome

Works for me!!

 

[Deleted member 6183]

Not sure Satch would qualify

1. Articulate
2. Logical
3. Solution
4. Communication
5. Feedback
6. Personal successful outcome

Works for me!!

Not so sure:

1. Two sides
2. Other relatives to be used as supporting guests
3. Swearing
4. Potential to rehash past issues

Could be a ratings winner

 

[ItalianTuneUp]

A few years back I was expected by idiot relatives to drive vast distances over Christmas and New Year ferrying them.

I refused in very clear and very direct terms.

Now once again it is expected, if fact already taken as read, that myself & No.1 son will do the following over a four day period.

Day 1. Surrey ---> Burnham on Sea-------> Dundee by 19.00

Day 2. Dundee----->Edinburgh 13.00----->Ayr 19.00

Day 3. Bored stupid in Ayr

Day 4 Ayr---->Burnham on Sea 19.00------>Surrey

That is at least 1200 miles. The days?

Oh Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day and day after that of course.

Timings? "Oh we must eat by........."

Why two of us? Well there are five people plus baggage to move around, three of them coming over from Australia so two cars are needed.

Now Mrs. S told her mother and her idiot husband this was not going to happen. Get over it and make alternative arrangements

But the in laws ignored that and have planned this great family reunion in huge detail.

And now are "heartbroken" that we have ruined it all for them, appalled and shocked, yes shocked, that my son called them a pair of selfish old turds.

That was just before I told them both to FO&D.

Job done I think.

Merry Feckin Christmas!

I think I might be tempted to email them a link to Avis / Hertz car rentals and let them take the initiative.

Oh, and book yourself on a nice holiday abroad and let them get on with it

 

[ItalianTuneUp]

They're Australians, they have no sense of time distances here.

I once went to the Rhone valley on a wine tasting trip put together by a Californian acquaintance, Jeff - an in your face Jewish shock jock with attention deficit disorder. My alcoholic Irish bookseller friend Nigel and I would drive, Jeff organised the visits to winemakers, which he did, randomly from one end of the 200 mile valley to the other at a couple of hours interval. Nigel hated manuals, so insisted on a gutless Merc A class with a rubber band driven box. He then went down with a severe case of the DTs, so could only drive if absolutely plastered.

So muggins had to drive the car with next to no overtaking ability, not able to taste the wine much and having to drive hundreds of miles flat out from appointment to appointment with an off his head Irishman who couldn't navigate even when sober (a rare event) and a fat yank gob ****e jumping up and down in the back with a terminal case of the Are we there yet syndrome. Add in an autoroute closure on the day we needed to be 200 miles north in 3 hours and had I owned a gun I would have shot them.

Thanks, that story made me laugh so much...I needed it

 

[Meldrew2]

I prefer to meet most of my relatives at their funerals.

Fixed that for you

 

[ItalianTuneUp]

Fixed that for you

You're all heart Victor!

 

[epervier]

They're Australians, they have no sense of time distances here.

I once went to the Rhone valley on a wine tasting trip put together by a Californian acquaintance, Jeff - an in your face Jewish shock jock with attention deficit disorder. My alcoholic Irish bookseller friend Nigel and I would drive, Jeff organised the visits to winemakers, which he did, randomly from one end of the 200 mile valley to the other at a couple of hours interval. Nigel hated manuals, so insisted on a gutless Merc A class with a rubber band driven box. He then went down with a severe case of the DTs, so could only drive if absolutely plastered.

So muggins had to drive the car with next to no overtaking ability, not able to taste the wine much and having to drive hundreds of miles flat out from appointment to appointment with an off his head Irishman who couldn't navigate even when sober (a rare event) and a fat yank gob ****e jumping up and down in the back with a terminal case of the Are we there yet syndrome. Add in an autoroute closure on the day we needed to be 200 miles north in 3 hours and had I owned a gun I would have shot them.

Sounds to me like it was a great boys outing, add to the mix, if you embellished the story with one or two French "incidents" you could dine out on that story for months

 

[ItalianTuneUp]

They're Australians, they have no sense of time distances here.

I once went to the Rhone valley on a wine tasting trip put together by a Californian acquaintance, Jeff - an in your face Jewish shock jock with attention deficit disorder. My alcoholic Irish bookseller friend Nigel and I would drive, Jeff organised the visits to winemakers, which he did, randomly from one end of the 200 mile valley to the other at a couple of hours interval. Nigel hated manuals, so insisted on a gutless Merc A class with a rubber band driven box. He then went down with a severe case of the DTs, so could only drive if absolutely plastered.

So muggins had to drive the car with next to no overtaking ability, not able to taste the wine much and having to drive hundreds of miles flat out from appointment to appointment with an off his head Irishman who couldn't navigate even when sober (a rare event) and a fat yank gob ****e jumping up and down in the back with a terminal case of the Are we there yet syndrome. Add in an autoroute closure on the day we needed to be 200 miles north in 3 hours and had I owned a gun I would have shot them.

Did you consider doing the same again the following year?

 

[Charles Morgan]

Never again! I did go on one further expedition with Nigel and his wife, the latter wasn't an alcofrolic so no problems sharing the driving, but as his alcohol problems worsened he became permanently drunk and very aggressive, so in the end she left him, and he finally died of liver failure, leaving the most awful mess to deal with. I rather let my ties with Jeff lapse when he sent me a case of wine to post to friends around Europe and expected me to pay the £850 in customs and excise charges plus courier costs, which oddly I refused to do.

As to winemakers, I had the pleasure on that trip of meeting the legendary Marcel Guigal of the eponymous firm, and have a signed bottle from him, which I shall treasure until someone offers me the right price for it...