Oh to be a Mercedes salesman...

[Mercy1]

If I ever had the good fortune to live another life, I have definitely made up my mind what I would want to be - a Mercedes Benz car salesman...
Got to be the cushiest number in sales.
Everyone who crosses their threshold is either a hard core Mercedes nut or aspires to be one. That makes life very easy.
The punters are only there because the showroom's got a car they want. The salesman fixes the price - nice and high - and only they know the price they will come down to. They talk down the price of your trade in, and leave you to fume on it. Take it or leave it, or just up it a bit as a sweetener.
They never let their hearts rule their heads like we punters do. How ever clever we think we are, they hold all the aces because they have the inside knowledge. Talk about a win win situation!
Best of all, they know that if we walk out of the door then someone else will soon walk right back in, probably sooner rather than later!
Can't think of a better job, can you??

 

[flango]

Can't think of a better job, can you??

Chief Taster at a distillery

 

[moonloops]

Bad experience?


It is called supply and demand, people will buy if they can afford to.. and prices are set accordingly.

 

[gunning]

well i have to be honest, the dealers barr one woman in one dealership ive been to, i wouldnt buy a turnip off them

 

[abecketts]

i'm with flanaia1 tasting malts would be a far better job and the hours would be far less onerous.

 

[st4]

I'd be happy working as a restuarant critic touring the country in pursuit of culinary perfection...

 

[312 Sprinter]

They never let their hearts rule their heads like we punters do. How ever clever we think we are, they hold all the aces because they have the inside knowledge. Talk about a win win situation!

Mmmm, I got one into trouble when I bought a C class for my mum. I wondered in the showroom and expressed an interest in a car. The guy was so keen to sell it that his opening gambit was that he'd put on an extended warranty, which was apparently worth £750! I nodded politely and remarked that I didn't like the radio in the car, I wanted a CD autochanger. He immediately agreed and put a value on it. We kept going like this for a while, he agreed to 4 new Michelins, a set of floor mats, full valet, a service and some other crap.

We sat down to do the deal and I asked him to list all the extras out on the sales contract with the values as "I'm not very good with numbers". I then asked to borrow his pen, crossed all the extras off the list and subtracted them from the agreed price of the car. He signed the contract like a good lad, we both initialled the amended price and I paid him a deposit.

Monday morning I had a furious sales manager on the phone trying to return my deposit. I politely declined, he called me names

 

[davethemus]

wouldn't mind being a top gear presenter, heard there might be an opening soon

 

[Cabe]

Photographer, preferable places warm, exotic and loose dress codes.

 

[Sonny Burnett]

Photographer, preferable places warm, exotic and loose dress codes.

hop in the waters fine

 

[ringway]

Lingerie shop owner.

Free fitting offered to all ladies under "30" and over "34".

Free removal and installation (T&C's apply).

 

[crockers]

Lingerie shop owner.

Free fitting offered to all ladies under "30" and over "34".

Free removal and installation (T&C's apply).

Paul. You'll go "blind".

 

[trainer]

Private speed camera owner with a national contract - sit back and let the money roll in. I would of course be the most hated person in the UK and would never be able to step outside and enjoy the cash.

I think I will stick with my job.

 

[Cabe]

Trainer, just live in a tax haven like Monaco

Sonny, BARROWMAN, GRRRR!!!!

 

[fuzzer]

middle man would do me quite nicely thank you.

 

[Ted]

Mattress tester in a bed factory for me!
Nighty night all

 

[ringway]

Paul. You'll go "blind".

I'd have to feel my way around..

 

[ringway]

Mattress tester in a bed factory for me!
Nighty night all

With Sally James no doubt.

 

[brent007]

the man with a dog, my parents used to go and see him every week, lol, he must be rich

 

[Martin clk]

I wouldnt mind Lewis Hamiltons job, or his bird! If I swap shoes, I wouldnt have long to think about it.