brucemillar
MB Enthusiast
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2010
- Messages
- 8,663
- Car
- C55 AMG Wagon - W124 300te 4matic Wagon - BMW 4.8is X5 E53 - SWB Pajero 3.5 V6 24v
So, it's that time where I get thinking I could do with a new pair of jeans. No real urgency, the ones in the drawer still function as Mr Strauss intended. I just figured that maybe it was that time.
Now let me explain here. I am easy to fit in the trouser department with all my body parts fitting into the jean designers sketch book without the need for any special considerations or appendages. In the past I have bought on-line, finding tat I am such an 'average' specimen that the sixes stated usually fit me without any alteration to me or the jeans.
So, I arrive at the store with my wife and teenage daughters for support. Then I notice it. Every pair of jeans is (what I would consider to be) wonky!! They are made for people who presumably spend their days sat astride Clydesdale Horses. People who, if buried in these jeans would have to be buried in a coffin shaped like a banjo case. Whilst ideal for dads with younger children, seeking to gain and advantage in the primary school sports day, allowing their kids to run, full speed between dads legs!! These are no good for those of us who have legs that start at the hips and descend vertically down to the ankles, or (as I like to think) Human beings of the biped variety.
My daughters, clearly sensing an embarrassing dad outburst, insisted that I try on a pair of these wonky creations. Holy Moly they are actually built to force your legs into an Orangutan type gait. I emerged from the changing room talking and walking like Shaun Ryder on steroids.
In days of old I could have been winched up into the air then lowered straight onto my trusty steed, without the need to bend my legs.
What is going here people? Is this an attempt by the clothing manufacturers to turn back evolution so that we will once again all roam the planet with an ape like gait rocking from side to side as do?
Will we start to see hats that force out foreheads to slope forward and give us a monobrow. Maybe jumpers that have arm extensions allowing our knuckles to scrape along the ground.
I just wanted a pair of jeans that you put on without the need to have your legs surgically altered.
ebay remains my friend. My daughters are perplexed, but their jeans are not not sewn together around a Chinese Wok.
Just asking?
Now let me explain here. I am easy to fit in the trouser department with all my body parts fitting into the jean designers sketch book without the need for any special considerations or appendages. In the past I have bought on-line, finding tat I am such an 'average' specimen that the sixes stated usually fit me without any alteration to me or the jeans.
So, I arrive at the store with my wife and teenage daughters for support. Then I notice it. Every pair of jeans is (what I would consider to be) wonky!! They are made for people who presumably spend their days sat astride Clydesdale Horses. People who, if buried in these jeans would have to be buried in a coffin shaped like a banjo case. Whilst ideal for dads with younger children, seeking to gain and advantage in the primary school sports day, allowing their kids to run, full speed between dads legs!! These are no good for those of us who have legs that start at the hips and descend vertically down to the ankles, or (as I like to think) Human beings of the biped variety.
My daughters, clearly sensing an embarrassing dad outburst, insisted that I try on a pair of these wonky creations. Holy Moly they are actually built to force your legs into an Orangutan type gait. I emerged from the changing room talking and walking like Shaun Ryder on steroids.
In days of old I could have been winched up into the air then lowered straight onto my trusty steed, without the need to bend my legs.
What is going here people? Is this an attempt by the clothing manufacturers to turn back evolution so that we will once again all roam the planet with an ape like gait rocking from side to side as do?
Will we start to see hats that force out foreheads to slope forward and give us a monobrow. Maybe jumpers that have arm extensions allowing our knuckles to scrape along the ground.
I just wanted a pair of jeans that you put on without the need to have your legs surgically altered.
ebay remains my friend. My daughters are perplexed, but their jeans are not not sewn together around a Chinese Wok.
Just asking?
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