Out stupid my own stupidity.

Discussion in 'OT (OFF Topic) Forums' started by brucemillar, Aug 11, 2018.

  1. brucemillar

    brucemillar MB Club Veteran

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    It’s time for me to just give up.

    Today, I bought a much needed nice new set of Halfords (Draper) precision screwdrivers with nicely anodised and colour coded grips. The type of tool a master smart **** such as myself has to own.

    At the till in store, I notice the lid on the case is cracked. I agree with the young lady on the till that I can simply swap with an “undamaged” set. Whoo hoo. What can go wrong here? We have man and tools bonded in perfect harmony.

    Well I get home, keen to try out my newest purchase on my ancient specs frames I eagerly remove the shrink wrap from the case. Pull out the nice red flat blade and tighten up the offending screw. Replace the screwdriver in its case and then......:...:::::

    Wtf. The lid will not close? After 5 minutes of failing to close the lid I accept that I will have to make a return trip to Halfords.

    Luckily Mrs M was on hand to point out that my T-SHIRT was trapped in the lid.


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  2. whitenemesis

    whitenemesis MB Club Veteran

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    :D Love it :D

    As bad as me sewing my jeans to my shorts in my attempt to repair a split seam :wallbash:
     
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  3. Trickythemerc

    Trickythemerc Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Come on Bruce just admit it ....:rolleyes: You just fancy the girl on the till don't you ....;) Not twenty minutes ago I was thinking I had better get my jewellers screwdrivers out before the arms drop of my specs.
     
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  4. oldguy57

    oldguy57 Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Damn tricky these T shirts sometimes. Every time I put one on it seems to have shrunk again.
     
  5. Nicebutdim

    Nicebutdim Member

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    Earlier this week I threw my leg over my motorbike only to get stuck halfway and couldn't understand what was happening. I had managed to catch my leg in the sleeve of a shirt which was hanging on the washing line.

    I managed to extract myself without dropping the bike.

    Barry Chuckle will be turning in his grave.

    Tim
     
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  6. OP
    OP
    brucemillar

    brucemillar MB Club Veteran

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    Classic.


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  7. Stratman

    Stratman Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Those of a certain age may remember an early DIY programme featuring a chap by the name of Barry Bucknell. One of my old bosses worked on many of these and told the tale of how BB was giving a modern look to some old table by covering it with Formica. During the live programme he spread contact adhesive over the table and over the Formica, then with great ceremony brought the two together. He then stayed bent down over the table, unable to move.

    You may be thinking he did his back but it was fine. Rather amusingly, and remember this was going out live, he'd trapped his tie between table and Formica. A pair of scissors came to the rescue and not for the first or last time, he said "This is how not to do it".
     
  8. Codger49

    Codger49 Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Very pleased to hear you are rapidly returning to your normal self Bruce.
     
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  9. pmcgsmurf

    pmcgsmurf Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    This is exactly what we need, Bruce back to his old self and running around like a cross between Mr Bean, Basil Faulty and Inspector Clouseau :)

    At least the missus was on hand to keep you in check and point out your error, you sure she didn't put the t shirt there. ;)

    Few weeks ago I lost my specs. between the sitting room, making a cup of tea and running a bath for the missus.
    After all searches failed the missus said you have hooked them into your shirt, bent over the bath and they have fell in.
    To this I replied, I'm not that stupid but checked the bathwater anyway only for nothing to be found.
    After retracing my tracks step by step I then found them............in the fridge.
     
  10. clk320x

    clk320x MB Club Veteran

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    That’s a new one... I really can’t even begin to work out how this could have happened.

    You must have had a cold nose. :D
     
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  11. pmcgsmurf

    pmcgsmurf Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Took milk out fridge, put specs. in fridge then put milk back in fridge I guess.

    It was only after the retracing of the steps when I opened the fridge I seen them.

    At least I wasn't so stupid as to drop them in the bath. :)
     
  12. clk320x

    clk320x MB Club Veteran

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    You’re not as bad as me, I’ve still yet to find 2 pairs of my glasses :D
     
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  13. C43AMG

    C43AMG MB Club Veteran

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    A hundred years ago my mother rented a flat that he had renovated in Ealing ( West London ) visiting me from Abroad :)
     
  14. oldguy57

    oldguy57 Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Ah yes the "where are my glasses thing". Last time this happened I found them in a box of Alpen cereal. I swear I never put them there- must have been someone else.
     
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  15. baxlin

    baxlin Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Freedom from this is about the only good thing about having to wear varifocals every waking moment - apart from being able to see, of course!
     
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  16. Steveml63

    Steveml63 Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Captain Chaos strikes again!
     
  17. Flyinspanner

    Flyinspanner Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    The first bike I had with “rat traps”, got on and peddled away, fitting second foot into the traps on the move.

    Grin ear to ear on my new steed, came up to a set of traffic lights, slowed to a stop.

    Tried in vain to remove a foot as I tilted over and landed in a heap.

    Extricated with help of a car driver, loosened the straps......:doh:
     
  18. Nicebutdim

    Nicebutdim Member

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    On the subject of misplaced items........

    How is it that women can magically find things in a location that weren't there when you checked yourself?

    I think this is caused by things slipping in and out of a third dimension. It's the same third dimension that keeps all the spring loaded ball bearings which disappear from my garage. Oh...and nuts which drop into an engine bay never to be seen again.

    As a man, I find it best to blame somebody else when something goes astray.

    Tim
     
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